God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 13: Crying Out to God

Stage one of the grieving process moves from denial to candor, stage two from angry to complaint, and stage three from bargaining and works to crying out to God for help.

Bargaining/Works Described

When I label the typical third stage of grief that I put works with bargaining. Kubler-Ross recognized this reality in her research. The dying people that she worked with bargained with God believing that they would be rewarded for their good behavior and granted special favors.

This is exactly what Job’s miserable counselors counseled Job to do—behave, be good, do right and God will treat you right. Bargaining knows nothing of grace. It is all works, all self-effort, all self-sufficiency. That’s why as biblical counselors we want to move people from works to cry.

Cry Defined

What do I mean by “cry” What is it? Cry is a faith-based plea for mobilization in which I humbly ask God for help based upon my admission that I can’t survive without Him. Cry is reaching up with open palms and pleading eyes in the midst of darkness and doubt.

Throughout my 22nd year of life, I cried out to God for help. “God, I’m confused. I’m scared. Everything I trusted in is gone. I used to think that if I only prayed hard enough and worked long enough, that eventually everything I longed for would come true in this life. But now I know that’s a lie. So what is true? What have You really promised? What can I count on? I can’t count on myself. Father, I want to count on You. Don’t let me down. Rescue me. Help me. Save me.”

Is Cry Biblically Supported?

Did God hear my cries? Were my cries biblical? Can we find biblical support for cry as a scriptural stage of grief?

Check back in tomorrow to see.

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