How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting
Post 17: God Comes
So far on our journey we have approached three road markers leading to three decision points.
*Confronting road marker one on our destination, we choose to move from denial to candor—honesty with our self about our grief.
*Facing road marker two on our destination, we choose to move from anger to complaint–honesty with God about our grief, pain, and confusion.
*Approaching road marker three on our destination, we choose to move from bargaining/works to cry—crying out to God in humble dependence.
Directional Choice Point Four: Depression or Comfort
In stage four, our journey leads us either to depression due to alienation and separation from God and others, or to finding comfort through communion with God and connection with God’s people.
To use a wrestling analogy (as a wrestling coach, I have to use at least one of these!):
*Through candor we choose to step on the mats with God.
*With complaint, the match begins.
*With cry, we cry “Uncle.” We say, “I’m pinned. I’m helpless. You win, God. Now I win, too.”
*Comfort, then, is the crippling touch of God that plants the seed for healing. In cry, we ask for God’s help. In comfort, we receive God’s help. In comfort, the God we cried out to, comes.
Depression/Alienation Described
In the typical fourth stage of grief, there’s a type of depression that we might best describe as hopelessness. The person accepts reality, but only from an earthly perspective. They can see no higher plan.
It reminds me of the chilling opening scene in the musical Les Mis. Hundreds of prisoners are chanting, “Look down, look down, don’t look them in the eyes.” They’re filled with shame.
Then one prisoner, Jean val Jean, attempts to break free from his emotional prison by singing that there are people who love him and are waiting for him when he’s released. The guards and even the other prisoners heap more shame upon him. One cries, “Sweet Jesus doesn’t care.” Others sing, “You’ll always be a slave, you’re standing in your grave.”
That’s hopelessness. That’s the fourth stage of grief without Christ. Or, as Paul says it in 1 Thessalonians, it is grieving without hope.
Now What?
Grief without hope—without Christ—is no place to stay. We need comfort. Tomorrow we’ll define and describe it, and in coming days we’ll explore how we find it in Christ and His people.