The world has it’s way of grieving. But, when our fallen world falls on us, when suffering crushes us, we need much more than research. We need revelation—we need God’s inspired truth about how to grieve as those who have hope.

Research informs us that people’s typical response to loss is denial. God’s Word offers us profound practical wisdom for moving from denial to candor: honesty with ourselves.

Denial Described

Candor contrasts with the typical first stage of human grieving—denial. When suffering first hits; when we first hear the news of the unexpected death of a loved one; when we’re told that we’ve been fired; we respond with shock. We can’t believe it. Life seems unreal.

I experienced this when I was ten years old. It was December and I was coming home from Riddle’s Pond where we were playing hockey. Billy Trapp and I were in a fight. My Mom pulls up, rolls down the window, and says:

“Get in the car. Grandpa died.”

My response?

“You’re kidding.”

Like my Mom would kid about something like that.

True Faith Faces All of Life

Denial is a common initial grief response. I believe that this initial response can be a grace of God allowing our bodies and physical brains to catch up, to adjust. However, after the necessary period of time, long-term denial is counter-productive. More than that, it is counter to faith, because true faith faces all of life.

I worked with a Pastor who struggled to move past denial. His wife died while giving birth to their only child. He denied the reality for months. He went on preaching, continued ministering. He never grieved, never wept. He put on a happy face. Behind the scenes, he was a mess. He imagined that he saw and heard his deceased wife. He was near the point of a total emotional and spiritual collapse, largely because he could not move out of the stage of denial and into the stage of candor.

So what is “candor”?

Visit again tomorrow and we’ll not only define it; we’ll illustrate it in real life. See you then…