What about you? Yesterday we explored how we can journey with others through their grief. But what about your grief journey?

Perhaps you’re going through a very fresh season of suffering. Or, perhaps things are sailing along smoothly right now. Whether reflecting on your past suffering or experiencing your current grief, here are a few suggestions and questions.

I’ve designed them to help you to move from denial to candor—brutal, frank honesty with yourself about your losses and crosses. Don’t try to address every suggestion. Pick a couple that connect with you.

My Candor Journey

1. True faith faces all of life. Where would you put yourself on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being total denial and 10 being facing all of life?

2. In past or current suffering, how did you begin to move from denial to candor?

3. How could your lively relationship with God become the anvil He uses to batter your suffering into meaningful shape?

4. As you reflect on something you are grieving over, list the external losses.

a. What is missing?

b. What has been robbed from your life?

c. What are you grieving over the most?

d. What feelings do you associate with these losses?

5. As you reflect on your grief experience, list the internal crosses—the trials of your faith. Be brutally honest.

a. How has your suffering impacted your relationship with and your attitude toward God?

b. What do you think the Bible teaches about feeling and expressing anger and/or disappointment with God?

6. Read Psalm 13 and/or Psalm 88. Write your own candid lament psalms expressing your feelings to God.

7. Read Matthew 27:45-46 and Luke 22:39-45. How can Jesus’ candor with Himself, His disciples, and with God influence you?

8. Read 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 and 2 Corinthians 4:7-12. Pen your own candid story of your suffering and grieving.

9. Find a trusted, safe friend and take the “baby steps” of sharing with him or her some of your candor.

What Next? What Now?

I know. For some it’s like, “This can’t end here, right?”

Good question. Fair question.

No. Biblical grieving does not end with candor. It begins with candor.

Where it heads next is our topic for tomorrow.