God’s Healing for Life’s Losses:
How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting

Post 32: Despair Is the Negative of Hope

In the healing process, we’ve moved from regrouping to waiting, from deadening to wailing/groaning, and now we move from despairing and doubting to weaving—perceiving life with grace eyes.

Despairing/Doubting Described

To understand doubting, tract the world’s typical grief and acceptance process thus far. Suffering crashes upon us. In shock, we deny its reality. At some point, our emotions can no longer suppress the truth and we explode with anger. Anger doesn’t get us what we want, so we switch tactics and try bargaining, behaving, and good works. No matter what we try, we can’t manage our loss. Depression sets in, alienation strikes.

At some point, the depression lifts a tad. We figure we have to get on with life somehow. We regroup. We re-enter the game, not with a new heart, but with no other choice. The game’s still rough, it still hurts, so we do what we can to deaden and suppress the pain—maybe workaholism, maybe ministryaholism, maybe counselaholism, whatever.

But like the Shunammite woman, life assaults us again, only worse. None of our strategies work. Now what? What do we do? What do we feel? How do we respond? What do we think? We despair. We doubt. We give up any hope of ever making life work and of ever figuring out the mystery of life, of ever completing the puzzle. We trudge on in doubt, despair, and darkness. Despair is the negative of hope.

Now What?

Our eyes darkened by hope, we need grace-eyes. Return tomorrow to learn about the weaving process—weaving in God’s perspective.

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