My Plan Today, And My Hesitancy Today

My plan today is to discuss some possible stereotyping that may continue to exist in the field of biblical Christian counseling today. To be very honest, I am very hesitant.

The ABC Symposium was an incredible bridge-building time—which is a major passion of mine. Since the event, I have received numerous emails and comments like the following one, which was posted on the blog of my friend Dr. Phil Monroe: (http://tinyurl.com/oxpjr9):

“My gratitude to the four Doctors. I had the privilege of attending the symposium and listening to the discussion. The evidence of love for things primary was apparent. The respect for disagreement on tertiary matters was exemplary. The love for each other in Christ was encouraging. Hats off ‘gentle-men’. Thanks ABC.”

I believe that the vast majority of people connected with the modern biblical Christian counseling movement interact and think like “the four Doctors.” They/we all try to evidence love for things primary, and respectful disagreement on tertiary matters, with a love for one another and for Christ.

So, why bring up any possible “stereotyping”?

Precisely because of my passion for building bridges of communication.

A Hypothesis

Here’s my hypothesis. We all give people we identify as being in “our group” a much greater benefit of the doubt than we give to people we identify as being in “another group.”

I do a great deal of teaching, writing, speaking, and consulting on Christ-based Intercultural Relationships. The Bible has a tremendous amount to say about relating across cultures. In fact, everyone one of the ten classic doctrines of systematic theology address intercultural relationships!

And guess what, our alphabet soup of counseling groups involve intercultural relating. We don’t think of it that way because we often think of “culture” as ethnicity and race and color of skin. But culture includes any way we have been taught to relate, think, choose, act, and feel by the “group” we associate with, are connected to, and surrounded by. Keep that in mind as you keep reading.

Here’s What Struck Me

Pastor Steve Viars is a great friend of mine since kindergarten! Honest—we attended the same elementary school, middle school, high school, Bible college and seminary, were saved in the same church, and discipled in the same youth group. Pastor Steve is a past President of NANC (National Association of Nouthetic Counselors). I assume that the majority of the nearly-500 people at the symposium self-identify with the NANC more than they do with the group I am with—the American Association of Christian Counselors’ Biblical Counseling and Spiritual Formation Forum (AACC/BCSFN).

Pastor Steve talked with passion about his church’s nine-month residential treatment center for young women: Vision of Hope. Pastor Steve also talked about wondering if he and more of his staff might want to become state licensed so that more referring agencies would be able to refer. (I am paraphrasing and certainly encourage you to buy the DVD).

I assume that the vast majority of people who self-identify with Pastor Steve thought, “Incredible. Wonderful. They are reaching out to hurting women. They are taking biblical counseling places it has not always gone!” I do not assume that most people who self-identified with Pastor Steve thought, “He’s going liberal. He’s an “integrationist. He’s sold out!”

But what if I had highlighted similar ideas and ministries? Would people who do not know me as well, who are not members of the AACC/BCSFN, who may have some caricatures about the AACC, have given me the same benefit of the doubt? Or, would some possibly have taken some of my words out of context and perhaps reported that, “Dr. Kellemen is an “integrationist”?

Now, in all fairness. I have had Pastor Viars speak for me at an AACC/BCSFN event. When he spoke candidly and passionately on Ephesians 4:17-32, did all those who self-identify with the AACC/BCSFN truly “hear” what he said? Did they all truly “hear him out”? Or perhaps did some “hear him” only through their stereotyping grid of “nouthetic counseling” and misinterpret what he said, why he said it, and what he meant?

Here’s the Thing

As the TV detective, Adrian Monk, would say, “Here’s the thing.” Let’s be good biblical Christian counselors and listen to one another—really listen—without preconceived notions, false caricatures, and unhelpful, inaccurate stereotypes. I’d like to think that is exactly what was modeled by “the four doctors” and President Jeremy Lelek.

Putting It into Practice

So how could we put this “cross-cultural listening” into practice? Here are a few practical suggestions, in no particular order.

1. Learn from those “outside your group.” Buy books and attend seminars of folks from the AACC, BCSFN, CCEF, SCP, NANC, FBCM, etc.

2. As we read and hear folks from outside our “circles,” allow them to define their own terms. Too often people think, “He used the word _____. Other people use it to mean ______. And I think it means _____. So he obviously thinks it means ______ and that is bad!” Instead, we need to listen with interculturally-sensitive ears so we really hear one another. Only once we’ve accurately heard and understood can we adequately assess.

3. As we read and hear folks from other agencies, we need to be good Bereans, not bad Corinthians. That about sums it up. Bereans rightly divide the Word of God. Corinthians wrongly divide the people of God. Bereans have a critical mind minus the critical spirit. Corinthians have a critical spirit minus with a shallow mindset. No one is saying “buy everything every person from every group says.” Instead, I am saying, “Let’s all practical good biblical counseling listening where we accurately hear one another without bias, where we rightly divide the Word of God, and when we disagree, we do so without a critical spirit, but with a sharp mind and a loving heart.

What Do You Think?

And thus ends my three-part blog mini-series on the ABC Symposium on the State of Biblical Christian Counseling. For those of you who attended and for those of you purchase the DVD, what do you think about the ABC Symposium?

What is the state of modern biblical Christian counseling?

How can we build bridges of understanding where we rightly divide God’s Word with sharp minds and loving hearts?