How to Get Along When We’ve Been Wronged

Part Three: The 4Gs of Peacemaking

The Minis-Series: Read Part One, One-Sided Thinking, of this mini-series. Read Part Two When Church Leaders Seem Abusive and Non-Responsive. I was prompted to write this series by comments on my blog. One comment ripped Martin Luther. The other comment linked to sites that skewered a pastor I had highlighted in one of my Best of the Best on the Christian Net. Both comments, as I indicated in Part One, were 100% one-sided.

In email correspondence over the past few days, I’ve sensed that some basic biblical principles of reconciliation would provide a solid foundation. Rather than re-invent the wheel, I would refer you to Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. Visit the site: Peacemaker Ministries.

The 4Gs of Peacemaking

Ken outlines a four-fold biblical process of peacemaking, using 4Gs as a memory tool.

1. Glorify God: 1 Corinthians 10:31.

Ask, “How can I please and honor God in this situation?”

2. Get the Log Out of Your Eye: Matthew 7:5

Ask, “How can I show Jesus’ work in me by taking responsibility for my contribution to this conflict?”

3. Gently Restore: Galatians 6:1

Ask, “How can I lovingly serve others by helping them take responsibility for their contribution to this conflict?”

4. Go and Be Reconciled: Matthew 5:24

Ask, “How can I demonstrate the forgiveness of God and encourage a reasonable solution to this conflict?”

The Slippery Slope of Conflict

Sande also provides a very helpful diagram that pictures three basic ways to respond to conflict.

1. Escape Responses: Peace-Faking

These range from denial, to flight, to suicide.

2. Attack Responses: Peace-Breaking

These range from assault, to litigation, to murder.

3. Peace-Making Responses: Peacemaking

These range on the one hand from overlook, to reconciliation, to negotiation. And on the other hand from mediation, to arbitration, to accountability.

The Rest of the Story

But what are specific responses personally when I have been wronged? Here we’ll look at forgiveness and healing. And what are specific responses interpersonally when I have been wronged? Here we’ll look at reconciliation and restoration.

Join the Conversation

How has Ken Sande’s book ministered to you? How could you apply the 4Gs to your situation?