Emotional Intelligence: The ABCs of Emotions
Part 6: How’s Your Emotional Intelligence?
Introduction: You’re reading Part 6 in a blog mini-series on Emotional Intelligence. Read Part 1: Emotions: God’s Idea, Part 2: Why We Feel What We Feel, Part 3: Good News about Good Moods, Part 4: What Went Wrong?, and Part 5: Our Emotions and Our Bodies. I’ve developed this series from material in my book Soul Physicians.
IQ or EQ?
People talk a lot about IQ—Intelligence Quotient. However, we all know that “book smarts” and “people smarts” are two different skills. Today, we’ll summarize and apply what we’ve said so far about emotions by taking an Emotional Intelligence Test.
What’s Your EQ?
Evaluate yourself using 10 as “Emotionally Mature” and 1 as “Emotionally Immature.”
1. I’m aware of my feelings and moods as they occur.
2. I’m able to recognize and name my feelings and moods.
3. I’m able to understand the causes of my feelings and moods.
4. I maintain a sense of ongoing attention to my internal mood states.
5. I’m aware both of my mood and my thoughts about my mood.
6. I actively monitor my moods as the first step in gaining control of them.
7. I soothe my soul in God—I candidly take my feelings and mood to Christ.
8. I have a sense of self-mastery—frustration tolerance and anger management.
9. I self-regulate my emotions—self-control.
10. I can harness my emotions in the service of a godly goal.
11. I can stifle my impulses (“passions of the flesh”) and delay gratification.
12. I’m a hopeful person.
13. I turn setbacks into comebacks.
14. I’m resilient and longsuffering. I demonstrate perseverance.
15. I practice Christ-centered hopefulness: “I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.” “I can meet challenges as they arise.” “I’m competent in Christ.”
16. I’m learning contentment in whatever state I’m in (external situation or internal mood).
17. I’m attuned to others, not emotionally tone-deaf. I have the ability to sense another’s mood.
18. I have empathy built on self-awareness. I’m open to my own emotions and, therefore, skilled in reading the feelings of others.
19. I practice the creative ability of perceiving the subjective experiences of others.
20. I make another person’s pain my own.
21. I can take on the perspective of another person.
22. I forgive.
23. I’m emotionally nourishing toward others.
24. I leave others in a good mood.
25. I’m effective in interpersonal relationships.
26. I help others to soothe their souls in their Savior.
27. I can initiate and coordinate the efforts of a group of people—helping them to move with synchrony and harmony.
28. I can negotiate solutions—mediation, preventing or resolving conflicts.
29. I can make personal connection—ease of entry into an encounter along with the ability to recognize and respond fittingly to people’s feelings/concerns.
30. I’m a good team player.
31. I’m skilled at social analysis—being able to detect and have insights into people’s feelings, motives, and concerns. Ease of intimacy and rapport.
The Rest of the Story
Today we focus on personal application. In our next post, we focus on ministry application. Read all about it in Helping Others with Their Emotions.
Join the Conversation
So, how’d you do? How’s your EQ or EI? What biblical principles could you follow to grow in emotional areas where you are currently not quite as mature?
