At 52 and 22

Today I’m 52. I was wondering recently, “What advice, counsel, and words of wisdom might I share with myself if I could go ‘back to the future’ three decades? What do I know at age 52 about life that I didn’t know at age 22, but wish I had?”

Me at 22

Life Will Be Much Harder Than You Think

This first one may not sound very positive, but it’s true. Jesus said it. “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

At 22, I wasn’t entirely naïve, but close to it. I assumed that if I worked hard, behaved well, and trusted God, that overall good things would flow my way.

Looking back over the past three decades, I would tell my younger self:

“Bob, life will be much harder than you think. It’s important to know that so that you don’t expect ease or everything to go well. Because when those false expectations are dashed, then you could become greatly discouraged. But Bob, remember to take heart—even when things are hard, God is good. Find your peace in Jesus.”

Jesus Will Be Far Gentler Than You Could Ever Imagine

Looking back over three decades, I realize that life is hard but Jesus is gentle. He said so Himself. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

I think at 22 I viewed Jesus somewhat as a hard task-master. I had to live up to His perfect standard to be accepted. Quite the warped view of grace. Quite the self-sufficient, works-oriented view of life.

Travelling back three decades, I would tell my younger self:

“Rest. It’s not about your work, Bob. It’s about the work Jesus has already done on your behalf. He has paid it all. He has reconciled you to the Father. You don’t have to do a thing to be accepted by God—your acceptance is in Christ. Live by grace.”

Defining Yourself by What You Do and How You Feel Will Be More Futile Than You Want to Admit

This third piece of advice goes hand-in-hand with the previous words of wisdom. Far too often I tried to define myself by what I did (my work, my ministry, my parenting, etc.). I defined who I was by what I felt or by what I desired.

Going back to the future, I would share with my younger self:

“Bob, that scaffolding is creaky and crumbling beyond repair. What you think of yourself and what others think of you is really not important. Live by the words Paul lived by. ‘I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me’ (1 Corinthians 4:3-4). Your feelings and your desires are not you. Your identity is in Christ.”

Finding Your Identity in Christ Will Be More Thirst-Quenching Than Any False Cistern 

Again, I build upon the previous words of counsel. Instead of building my identity on my feelings or desires, or upon what I think of myself or what others think of me, I could have been building my identity on who I am to Christ and who I am in Christ.

Visiting my younger self I would share:

“Bob, you are not a slave, but a son. Live by the words of Paul. ‘For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory’ (Romans 4:15-17). Building your life, your identity, on anything but Christ is a broken cistern that can hold no water. Instead, build your life, your identity on God the Spring of Living Water and you will never thirst again (Jeremiah 2, John 4).”

You Don’t Have As Much Figured Out As You Think You Do, But That’s Okay, Rest

I’d likely say the same thing in thirty years at age 82 to my 52-year-old self. I don’t have it all figured out now. But at least at 52, I readily admit how little I know. At 22 I thought I had a clue.

I think I’d say to my younger self:

“It’s all right. You don’t have to have all the answers. Just admit it. You have a ton of living and learning to do. Enjoy the ride. Give yourself a break. You’re not perfect. You never will be. Rest in Christ’s perfection. He is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6). Follow His way, pursue His truth, receive His life. Enjoy God. Rest in Christ. Depend upon the Spirit.”

Join the Conversation 

What words of counsel would you share with your younger self?