5 Biblical Counseling Sustaining Skills: GRACE, Part 10
Note: I’ve developed the follow post from my book Spiritual Friends. In Part 1 and Part 2, we learned about Grace Connecting. In Part 3 and Part 4, we learned about Rich Soul Empathy. In Part 5 and Part 6, we learned about Accurate Listening. In Part 7 and Part 8, we learned about Caring Spiritual Conversations. In Part 9, we introduced Empathetic Scriptural Explorations. 
In this ten-part blog mini-series, we’re learning five biblical counseling skills of sustaining by using the acronym GRACE.
• G—Grace Connecting: Proverbs 27:6
• R—Rich Soul Empathizing: Romans 12:15
• A—Accurate/Active Spiritual Listening: John 2:23-4:43
• C—Caring Spiritual Conversations: Ephesians 4:29
• E—Empathetic Scriptural Explorations: Isaiah 61:1-3
Empathetic Scriptural Explorations and Candor
You sense that Alonzo is on the verge of embracing his loss, but he’s fearful. Tentative. You’d love to see him “step on the mat with God so the wrestling match can commence.” Perhaps you share:
• Alonzo, you’ve shared a lot. There’s obviously so much going on inside. Rightly so. Yet, so far we’ve not talked much about where God fits into your picture . . .
You have all sorts of options concerning how you proceed. You could be quiet, sit back, and wait, which might be quite useful. Or, you could share:
• I’m curious about where God is in your suffering.
• Alonzo, could you tell me what you’re doing with God in your suffering?
• I’m wondering where God is in all this.
• What might God be up to in all of this?
Perhaps your conversation might run like this.
“Alonzo, have you been able to share your heart with God?”
“Well, yeah. Some. I guess.”
“Great. What have you said?”
“Well, I’ve told Him how confused I am. And shocked. And worried . . .”
“Wow. That’s a lot. You and God sure are on great speaking terms! What are you sensing from God as you share with Him?”
As you continue to talk, you sense Alonzo’s openness to explore further his relationship to God. Now you have the opportunity, together, to explore a relevant biblical narrative or character. As you do, you can explore specific implications and applications.
• Alonzo, David experienced something like this. Stalked by Saul, his life was on the line. He faced the valley of the shadow of death. Could we look at his situation and his response?
If you’re talking with Becky who is a sexual abuse victim, it might sound more like this:
• Becky, Tamar experienced something like this. Her half-brother betrayed her sexually. Could we look at her situation and her response?
Empathetic Scriptural Explorations and Complaint
Below you’ll find some examples of scriptural explorations and complaint.
• What does Psalm 88 suggest about expressing your anger, disappointment, or complaint toward God? How could you relate this to your response to God?
• God promises that all things work together for good for His children (Romans 8:28). What are your thoughts about that promise? What do you think about a passage like this? What good purposes has God already provided to you or in you through these events?
• If you were to write a Psalm 13 or a Psalm 88 to God (Psalms of Lament and Complaint), how would it sound? What would you write?
Empathetic Scriptural Explorations and Cry
Below you’ll find some examples of scriptural explorations and cry.
• What Scriptures could we look at that illustrate how God’s people have talked to God when they felt that He was not hearing their cry?
• If you were to write a Psalm 72 or 73, how would it sound? What would you write?
• Based upon Psalm 13, how could your situation cause you to cry out to God for help, love, strength, joy, peace, and deliverance?
Empathetic Scriptural Explorations and Comfort/Communion
Below you’ll find some examples of scriptural explorations and comfort/communion.
• Let’s explore John 9, God’s purposes in suffering, and how they may relate to your suffering.
• If you were to write a Psalm 42 and 43, where David moves from confusion to communion with God, how would it sound? What would you write?
• Based upon Deuteronomy 8, how do you think you can grow through your suffering?
• How could you relate Paul’s perspective on his suffering in Romans 8:17-28 to your life? How could taking on his perspective alter your perspective?
• Let’s explore how Paul found comfort in his despair in 2 Corinthians 1. What applications could you make from his life to yours?
You can use scriptural explorations as powerful homework assignments. For instance, between now and the next time you meet, Becky could write her own psalm to God. Or, she could simply “journal her feelings to God.” When you meet again, you trialogue about her writings.
Join the Conversation
Of the five biblical counseling GRACE skills of sustaining, which ones do you most want to develop further? Why? How?
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