Mothers’ Day for Non-Mothers and Others
In my first pastoral ministry, I led an Adult Bible Fellowship called Homebuilders. It was a Sunday School class consisting of newly married couples through the first decade or so of marriage. The class included over 100 couples.
I learned very early on to be sensitive regarding how the class celebrated Mother’s Day and honored Moms.
And here’s why: a percentage of the married women (and men) in the class would have loved to have had children but were unable to. And other of the women (and men) had experienced the death of children.
Now, add to that ministry in the average congregation (not just a Sunday School class of married couples), and you find additional issues. What of women who would like to be married mothers, but are single? What of women and men who have lost their mothers? For them Mother’s Day can be a very emotional day. What of men and women who grew up with difficult relationships with their Mothers and now have strained relationships?
I understand that some may be thinking, “Well, that doesn’t mean that you can’ celebrate Mom’s and honor them on Mothers’ Day!” Or, “That is soooo oversensitive and politically correct!”
I don’t think consideration for people who struggle on Mothers’ Day is being oversensitive. And I’m not saying that churches should cease honoring Moms.
I’m simply taking a few words after Mothers’ Day 2013 to remind pastors that when Fathers’ Day 2013, or Mothers’ Day 2014 rolls around, to consider all members of your congregation.
Yes, we can honor Mothers. And, at the same time, a few carefully chosen, sensitive words can go a long way.
“Today, as we honor Mothers on Mothers’ Day, we also want to recognize that this can be a difficult day for others. Some may have lost their Mom’s and today can include grief and sadness. Some may have lost children or be unable to have children and today can include grief and sadness. Some may have strained relationships with their Moms. So, today we both honor and celebrate Moms on Mothers’ Day while we also pray for healing and hope for all those who may find today to be a difficult day….”
Join the Conversation
How does your church balance honoring Moms on Mothers’ Day with sensitivity for those for whom Mothers’ Day may be a day of grieving and sadness?
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Thank you. I’m one who is unable to have children and Mother’s Day is heart wrenching. Love honoring my mom, but at the same time left feeling very inadequate and “unblessed”. Would have appreciated a simple acknowledgment that some of us struggle going to church on Mother’s Day & being reminded of what we don’t have.
Your words are perfect Bob – includes all. My mother died years back and I was never able to have children. I used to avoid church on Mother’s Day. Now I do attend and am able to enjoy others happiness. Still, I would love to hear words such as yours as an acknowledgement.
If we take an honest look at this holiday or any other, we have to recognize that there will be many in our congregations who are struggling. Holidays have a way of bringing up emotions whether they are positive or negative so we should be cognizant about those who struggle on such days.
Mother’s day and mothers were recognized at the beginning of our service, but I sought to address those who struggle by lifting up some of these groups in my opening prayer. My sermon was about parenting with a particular focus on that fact that parents (mothers) are not called to be perfect, but to be faithful and entrust their children to God. All in all I sought to paint a picture of how powerful and loving God is hoping that those who are struggling might find comfort.
Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom. Great thoughts for next year.