A Word from Bob: Thanks for joining me for Part 5 of our series on Gospel 
Conversations: The Gospel for Everyday Life. I’m developing these posts from my latest book, Gospel-Conversations: How to Care Like Christ. You can read:
- Part 1 here: Where Do You Fit into God’s Mission?
- Part 2 here: What to Do After the Hug
- Part 3 here: How Does God Use His Word in Our Lives?
- Part 4 here: 5 Portraits of a Loving Biblical Counselor, Part 1
Portrait # 3: The Love of a Shepherding Father
Paul’s third portrait of the biblical counselor communicates, “I love you individually and uniquely with a guiding love.” We see this beginning in 1 Thessalonians 2:11, “For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children.”
The original Greek highlights the individual, focused attention that Paul gives each person he ministers to—each of you, his own children. Morris notes that this is not just general group concern, but individual pastoral care. To Paul, no one was simply a number, or an item on a “to do” list.
Paul further describes his fatherly focused attention with these words. “…as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting, and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory” (1 Thessalonians 2:10b-11).
Paul’s ministry is not a one-size-fits-all ministry.
- To those in need of hope, Paul offers encouraging care—coming alongside to help and to en-courage: to implant courage into.
- To those struggling with loss, Paul offers comforting care—consoling the grieving and fainthearted, sharing in their sorrows.
- To those in need of insight and direction, Paul provides guidance by urging them—discussing application of truth to the specifics of their lives.
Paul offers person-specific, situation-specific, and need-specific counsel (see also Ephesians 4:29; 1 Thessalonians 5:14; and Romans 12:15).
Portrait # 4: The Love of a Longing Child/Orphan
Paul now turns his portraits upside down. Previously he has described his relationships as a brother to a sibling, a mother to her infant children, and a father to his individual children. What a contrast as he now communicates the love of an orphaned child bereaved of his parents. “But brothers, when we were torn away from you for a short time (in person, not in thought), out of intense longing we made every effort to see you” (1 Thessalonians 2:17).
“Torn away” is a phrased used of a child left bereft by separation from a parent—an orphan. The Church Father, Chrysostom, depicts the word powerfully, “He sought for a word that might fitly indicate his mental anguish. Though standing in relation of a father to them all, he yet utters the language of orphan children that have permanently lost their parent.”
It reminds us of Paul’s description of his leave-taking with the Ephesian elders.
“When he said this, he knelt down with all of them and prayed. They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again. Then they accompanied him to the ship. After we had torn ourselves away from them, we put out to sea and sailed straight to Cos (Acts 20:36-21:1).”
And what was the content of Paul’s relational ministry to the Ephesian believers? It was gospel truth for daily sanctification.
“You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and house to house…. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace. Now I know that none of you among whom I have gone about preaching the kingdom will ever see me again…. For I have not hesitated to proclaim to you the whole will of God…. Remember that for three years I never stopped warning each of you night and day with tears. Now I commit you to God and to the word of his grace, which can build you up and give you an inheritance among all those who are sanctified (Acts 20:20, 24-25, 27, 31-32).”
When torn away, here’s how Paul responded. “…out of intense longing we made every effort to see you” (1 Thessalonians 2:17b). We could translate the tense and the language of the original like this, “We experienced such non-stop, eager desire to reconnect with you that we endeavored exceedingly to see you!”
Let’s be honest. There are some counselees whose struggles are so difficult, and whose way of relating so troublesome and self-centered, that at times we think, “Couldn’t someone else counsel this person?” In those moments, we need to pray for the Spirit to empower us with the type of love and longing that Paul writes about in 1 Thessalonians 2:17.
Portrait # 5: The Loving Respect of a Proud Mentor
Paul’s final portrait of the personal ministry of the Word comes in a military context. He writes in 1 Thessalonians 2:18, “For we wanted to come to you—certainly I, Paul, did, again and again—but Satan stopped us.” “Stopped us” literally means a cut in the road—an obstacle placed in the road by a military opponent to impeded or slow the advance of oncoming troops.
Paul continues in this military context in 2:19. “For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes?” Paul now paints the image of the conquering king or general. Typically that general would gladly, and not-so-humbly, claim all the accolades for himself. Instead Paul turns to the “lowly private” and says, “You earned the victors crown. The glory wreath! You are a spiritual warrior. Well done!”
Sometimes we so focus on confronting the sins of our counselees that we forget that they are, by God’s grace, saints—victorious in Christ. And we forget to celebrate with them their victories.
As if to put an exclamation point on his respect for them, Paul concludes, “Indeed, you are our glory and joy.” Paul loves them and is proud of them. He publicly honors them for their esteemed service. They are spiritual champions in Christ.
Join the Conversation
Could people we minister to say this of us? “I experience you as a father focused on me with individual pastoral attention?”
Could people we minister to say this of us? “I experience you as a wise and caring father, shepherding me with exactly what biblical wisdom I uniquely need at the specific moment.”
Could people we minister to say this of us? “I experience you as longing for me so much that when we are apart you grieve like an orphan.”
Could people we minister to say this of us? “I experience you as desperately longing for deep connection with me as a child longs for connection with a parent.”
Could people we minister to say this of us? “I experience you as a mentor so proud of who I am in Christ that you give me a spiritual medal of honor.”
Could people we minister to say this of us? “I experience you as a mentor so proud of who I am in Christ that I am your pride and joy.”
