Gospel-Centered Marriage and Marriage Counseling
Part 2: 15 Gospel-Centered Marriage Books on
Communication, Conflict Resolution, and Forgiveness 
A Word from Bob: You’re reading Part 2 of a blog “mini-series” on biblical marriage counseling: Gospel-Centered Marriage and Marriage Counseling. I’m starting with several posts on resources for counselors and couples.
Post # 1: 12 Gospel-Centered Books on Marriage and Marriage Counseling (Click here to read Part 1.)
These books provide a foundational biblical overview of God’s plan and purposes for Christ-centered marriage.
Post # 2: 15 Gospel-Centered Marriage Books on Communication, Conflict Resolution, and Forgiveness
These books provide practical biblical principles and teaching on communication, conflict resolution, and forgiveness. They also help us to think through biblical principles of marriage, divorce, and remarriage.
Post # 3: 18 Gospel-Centered Books on Common Issues in Marriage
These books provide practical biblical principles for dealing with specific issues and common struggles in marriage.
Post # 4: 13 Gospel-Centered Pre-Marital Counseling Books
Preventative counseling and marital preparation are foundational to any healthy marriage. These books are the best of the best in pre-marital teaching, resources, and manuals.
Communication and Conflict Resolution
War of Words: Getting to the Heart of Your Communication Struggles, by Paul Tripp
“Talk” seems so normal, so ordinary, so harmless. Yet there are few things we do that are more important. And underneath the normality of it all is a great struggle, a war of words that we fight every day. Who hasn’t been hurt by the words of another? Who hasn’t regretted something they said? Who hasn’t had to referee an argument? Recognizing that words are powerful, Paul Tripp shows us how the gospel transforms the way we communicate. Our Lord Jesus Christ, the Word, is the only hope for our words. In our war of words, He is the one who gives us the victory. Tripp directs us to a renewed reliance on our heavenly Father’s abundant grace and a more Christ-honoring, people-benefiting life of talk.
Help! I’m in Conflict, by Ernie Baker
How does the gospel impact relationships? How does our relationship with Christ intersect relationship tensions? What is the origin of conflict? What is going on in my heart that leads to my struggles with gentleness or lack of kindness or intolerance of others? These and many other matters are helpfully addressed in this mini-book by Dr. Ernie Baker.
Pursing Peace: A Christian Guide to Handling Our Conflict, by Robert Jones
We all have conflict in our life. We encounter it in our home, our workplace, our school, or even our church. All around us tensions exist and disputes persist. Robert Jones offers a step-by-step process for pursuing peace in all our relationships and a tool we can use to help others. This guide is biblical, Christ-centered, practical, and proven. Packed with wisdom and practical techniques, this book on reconciliation will send you on your way to pursuing peace while helping others to do the same.
Happily Ever After: 30 Devotions for Couples, by Desiring God
Harder than you imagined. Better than a fairy tale. Marriage between sinners has its inevitable messes. If you’ve been married longer than a week or two, you know how the hard realities of life in a fallen age can come crashing in. Perhaps you had a season of “once upon a time,” but soon enough you realized that this marriage, in this world, is not yet your “happily ever after.” God designed marriage not as a trial to be endured, but as a pointer to and catalyst for your greatest joy. God didn’t design marriage to be your storybook ending, but a fresh beginning, to help get you ready for the true “happily ever after” when together we see our great Bridegroom face to face. The thirty devotional readings in Happily Ever After have been assembled to shape, challenge, and inspire you and your spouse’s (or fiancé’s) vision of marriage.
Peacemaking for Families, by Ken Sande
Basic conflict-resolution skills found in Scripture can help you change your home from a battle zone to a love nest. Distinguishing between positive and negative conflict resolution, Peacemaking for Families introduces the reader to valuable principles such as “The Peacemaker’s Pledge,” the “Seven A’s of Forgiveness,” and the “PAUSE Principle of Negotiation.” Real-life stories and case studies help the reader to acquire the skills needed to create a true “peacemaking family.”
Resolving Everyday Conflict, by Ken Sande and Kevin Johnson
Ken Sande, author of the bestselling classic The Peacemaker, has long been a trusted resource on the topic of conflict resolution. In Resolving Everyday Conflict, Sande distills his message to the essentials, quickly equipping readers with the tools they need to bring peace to their relationships. Resolving Everyday Conflict is a practical, biblical, concise guide to peacemaking in everyday life that can turn tumultuous relationships into peaceful ones.
Communication and Conflict Resolution: A Biblical Perspective, by Stuart Scott
In this brief booklet, Stuart Scott powerfully outlines a heart-focused, biblical perspective on godly communication and loving conflict resolution.
Forgiveness
Putting Your Past in Its Place: Moving Forward in Peace and Forgiveness, by Steve Viars
Lives grind to a halt when people don’t know how to relate to their past. Some believe “the past is nothing” and attempt to suppress the brokenness again and again. Others miss out on renewal and change by making the past more important than their present and future. Neither approach moves people toward healing or hope. Pastor and biblical counselor, Steve Viars, introduces a third way to view one’s personal history―by exploring the role of the past as God intended. Using Scripture to lead readers forward, Viars provides practical measures to: understand the important place the past is given in Scripture, replace guilt and despair with forgiveness and hope, and turn failures into stepping stones for growth.
The Truth About Forgiveness, by John MacArthur
“The greatest measuring rod of love in the life of a Christian may be forgiveness, because God showed His love to us in terms of forgiveness” (John MacArthur). Does anyone really want to forgive? Or admit that we need forgiveness? Whether we’re giving or receiving, forgiveness is hard. It seems unfair. It feels unnatural. Pastor John MacArthur demonstrates that forgiveness apart from Christ is unnatural. It is only as we understand our need, Christ’s power and example, and what it really means to love that we can embrace two of the most liberating acts of love: forgiving and being forgiven.
Forgiving Others: Joining Wisdom and Love, by Tim Lane
Forgiving someone who has hurt you is one of the most difficult tasks anyone ever faces. In fact, it is so hard that most people avoid it at all costs. But when we don’t forgive, we pay the price of bitterness that affects all of our relationships. Is it possible to forgive a great wrong and treat others with compassion despite the way they have treated us? In Forgiving Others, Tim Lane draws on his personal, pastoral, and counseling experience to explain that only when you understand God’s love and forgiveness for you, will you be able to forgive those who have deeply hurt you. He applies that truth by explaining what forgiveness looks like in different situations and how to wisely practice forgiveness in the midst of difficult circumstances.
Help! I Can’t’ Forgive, by Jim Newcomer
What is one of the most common refrains heard in homes, relationships, churches, and even our culture at large? “I can’t forgive!” The struggle to forgive someone who has wronged us is universal. What is the answer? A fresh look at the gospel! Jim Newcomer takes you through a five-stop journey toward biblical forgiveness.
Help! My Spouse Has Been Unfaithful, by Mike Summers
This is a mini-book intended for the “innocent” party in a marriage where there has been adultery. You never dreamed this would happen, but you are reeling from the news that your spouse has been unfaithful. You don’t know what to do. The emotions you are feeling are intense. Betrayal, rejection, bitterness, despair—these turn your life into a lonely journey. You stand at a crossroads: the decisions you make now will impact the rest of your life. Where can you turn? This little book can assist you as you navigate your way through this painful time. The perspective and hope offered here come from God’s Word. What God has to say to you in your crisis is powerful and practical.
Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage
Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage: Critical Questions and Answers, by Jim Newheiser
Drawing on decades of counseling experience, Jim Newheiser explores forty crucial questions relating to the complexities of marriage, divorce, and remarriage—unpacking the answers given in God’s Word. This useful reference work for pastors, counselors, and personal study can also be read straight through for a scriptural overview of the topic or assigned in small sections to counselees.
Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible, by Jay Adams
If the church is going to use the Bible to decide whether divorce is legitimate in certain cases and whether divorced couples have the right to remarry with the approval and blessing of God’s people, then the Bible must be studied without prejudice toward a particular answer. The author examines the relevant passages in both the Old and New Testaments so that his readers can consider the many issues and interpretations that arise in trying to establish a consistently biblical position. As a result, readers can see more clearly and accept more firmly the truth of Scripture.
Church Discipline
God Redeeming His Bride: A Handbook for Church Discipline, by Robert Cheong
When there is a lack of forgiveness in marriage, a lack of repentance in marriage, or movement toward an unbiblical divorce, then church leaders must explore church discipline. Church discipline is a term that is fraught with problems for the church today. However from the biblical witness it is clear that it is an essential component of a healthy, God-honoring church—a church where Christians grow and mature in grace and develop solid foundations with which they can, with the help of the Spirit, withstand the storms of life.
Join the Conversation
How have any of these books impacted your marriage? Your marriage counseling ministry?
What books would you add to this list?
