Guest Blog by Eliza Huie
Do you know the feeling when you come across a grand slam book? Something inside of you ignites as the words on the page send you into outward exclamations of “amen” or “that’s so helpful.” That is exactly how I felt when reading Jonathan Holmes new book, Counsel for Couples. After finishing it, I knew I would be coming back to this book myself and sharing it with others.
As a marriage counselor, I have read many books on marriage, love, and relationships in effort to be best prepared in the counseling room. The number of these books abound and bring great value for couples. Though these options are helpful, there has still been something lacking in resources:
Where is the book for the pastors and biblical counselors to prepare them for marriage counseling sessions from start to finish?
What’s needed is a tool that doesn’t only equip, but explores the critical topics of marriage counseling from a biblical starting point, and guides the pastor or counselor in how to best engage issues in session.
Counsel for Couples meets that need. As the subtitle describes, it is A Biblical and Practical Guide to Marriage Counseling. The book is a primer for pastors, counselors, and anyone mentoring and walking with couples. But it is more than a primer; it is a comprehensive resource combining instruction and experience, richly interconnected with the truth of Scripture.
In part one, the essentials of marriage counseling are explored and a general direction is laid out. Basic questions are answered and the fundamentals are engaged. From how to begin and end, referring, and structuring a session, each page is street-level practical. I found myself saying, “Where was this book when I first started doing marriage counseling!”
Part two dives into the deep end and explores hot topics you will certainly face as you care for couples. These chapters will be well worn in my own copy as I am certain to refer back to them for direction and refreshers. Helpful questions to ask and realistic goals to consider are laid out in ways that address crises as well as routine areas of dissatisfaction.
What I loved most about this section is, these are the actual issues you will encounter in marriage counseling. It avoids the generic exploration of problems and instead tackles specifics like, affairs, porn, miscarriage, in-laws, problems with sex, unbelieving spouses, the impact of children or lack of on a marriage, and much more. Jonathan biblically engages the issues faithfully, preparing you to face challenging topics with scriptural integrity and Christ-like compassion.
Finally the book ends in a most appropriate way by taking a careful look at how to care for yourself as you walk with others. Facing your limitations as a counselor is a reminder of your humanity and God’s divinity. It calls caregivers back to the understanding that your own heart needs guarding and your soul needs care. It is a reminder no matter how well prepared you are, how fantastic the questions you bring, or how deep an understanding of navigating hard topics you possess, it is God that changes people. The Holy Spirit is far more effective than the best marriage counselor. The hope couples desperately need is found in understanding and resting in the accomplished work of Jesus for them.
If you are a pastor, biblical counselor, or anyone who walks with couples, get Counsel for Couples. I am confident it will not stay on your bookshelf, but be a well-worn resource as you care for and counsel couples.
Eliza Huie is the executive director at Life Counseling Center Ministries in Maryland. She received her Master’s in counseling from Biblical Theological Seminary and has certificate training from the Christian Counseling Education Foundation (CCEF). She is the author of Raising Teens in a Hyper-Sexualized World and Raising Kids in a Screen-Saturated World.
