A Word from Bob

This series became my book, Consider Your Counsel: Addressing Ten Mistakes in Our Biblical Counseling. For free resources related to the book, and to purchase a copy on sale, go here.

You’re reading a bonus post—Part 11—of a 10-part (11-part) blog series on 10 Common Mistakes Biblical Counselors Sometimes Make.

• Mistake #1: We Elevate Data Collection Above Soul Connection.
• Mistake #2: We Share God’s Eternal Story Before We Listen Well and Wisely to Our Friend’s Earthly Story.
• Mistake #3: We Talk at Counselees Rather Than Exploring Scriptures with Counselees.
• Mistake #4: We Practice Half-Biblical Counseling If We Address Sin but Neglect Suffering.
• Mistake #5: We Fail to Follow the Trinity’s Model of Comforting Care.
• Mistake #6: We Tend to View People One-Dimensionally.
• Mistake #7: We Devalue Emotions Rather Than Seeing Emotions as God’s Idea.
• Mistake #8: We Minimize the Complexity of the Soul-Body Interconnection.
• Mistake #9: We Maximize Sin While We Minimize Grace.
• Mistake #10: We Confuse the Sufficiency of Scripture with the Competency of the Counselor.

40 Biblical Counseling Self-Assessment Questions 

Throughout our time together, we’ve sought to highlight the practical relevance of each of the ten biblical counseling mistakes by ending with Assessing Our Biblical Counseling. As we bring this “supervision-in-writing” to a close, we’ll collate those evaluations so we can have a 40-question assessment of our biblical counseling.

Mistake #1: We Elevate Data Collection Above Soul Connection 

1. In our biblical counseling, would people say of us, “I felt like a soul to be heard, known, understood, and cared about”? Or, would they say of us, “I felt like a specimen to be probed, dissected, examined, and diagnosed”?
2. In our biblical counseling, would people say of us, “She loves me like a tender, gentle mother”? “He loves me like an encouraging, comforting father”?
3. Would the people we counsel say of us, “They share Scripture and soul”? “They model intimacy and intensity”? “They relate like a family and a community”?
4. In our biblical counseling, how richly and compassionately are we empathizing with the situation and soul of our brothers and sisters in Christ?

Mistake #2: We Share God’s Eternal Story Before We Listen Well and Wisely to Our Friend’s Earthly Story 

5. In our biblical counseling, do we listen and pounce—preaching at people and doing so unwisely and prematurely. Or, do we practice lingering listening to the person’s situation and soul—their whole story?
6. As biblical counselors, do we see our calling as journeying together with our counselees so they can grasp how Christ’s redemptive story intersects and invades their troubling story?
7. As biblical counselors, do we follow the model of the Holy Spirit—the Divine Counselor within us—who groans before and as he guides?
8. As biblical counselors, do we follow the model of Jesus—the Wonderful Counselor—by seeking to understand each individual and by tailoring our exploration of Scripture to their distinctive situation, story, and soul?

Mistake #3: We Talk at Counselees Rather Than Exploring Scripture with Counselees

9. Is our biblical counseling more directive (counselor as expert teller), more non-directive (counselee as expert about their own life), or more collaborative (counselor and counselee guided by God’s Word)?
10. As biblical counselors, which of the following is more true of our focus? a.) Teaching/Telling Scripture To—Give a Man a Fish—Made a Student of Yourself. Or, b.) Exploring Scripture Together—Teach a Man to Fish—Made a Disciple of Christ.
11. As biblical counselors, do we practice monologue counseling, dialogue counseling, or trialogue counseling (where there are three people in our gospel conversation: the counselor, the counselee, and the Divine Counselor through God’s Spirit and God’s Word. Together we listen to God’s Word, discerning how to apply truth to life)?
12. As biblical counselors, how could the 2 Samuel 13 sample trialogues impact our counseling practice, the counseling process, the counselor-counselee personal relationship, and the counselee’s life?

Mistake #4: We Practice Half-Biblical Counseling When We Address Sin but Neglect Suffering

13. Is our biblical counseling defective because it deals thoroughly with the sins we have committed, but not with the evils we have suffered?
14. As biblical counselors, do we sometimes have a one-track mind that considers only the seriousness of sin, but not the gravity of grinding affliction?
15. Do we see ourselves as parakaletic biblical counselors—biblical soul care-givers comforting, encouraging, and compassionately caring for those facing suffering?
16. As biblical counselors, do we compassionately identify with people in pain and direct them to Christ and the body of Christ for comfort and healing hope?

Mistake #5: We Fail to Follow the Trinity’s Model of Comforting Care 

17. Do we counsel like God the Father? Do we sympathetically lament with others? Do others experience us as their caring advocate, as their concerned protector, as their empathetic ally?
18. Do we counsel like God the Son? Do we sorrow with others? Do we grieve with others? Are we sympathetic toward and empathetic with others? Are we deeply moved by the suffering of others?
19. Do we counsel like God the Spirit? Are we consoling, comforting, and encouraging? Do we identify and groan with others?
20. Do we counsel like the Trinity? Does the comfort of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit overflow from the Trinity to us and then spill over to our brothers and sisters? 

Mistake #6: We Tend to View People One-Dimensionally 

21. As biblical counselors, do we have a “pet” perspective of people—viewing them through one primary lens instead of viewing them comprehensively?
22. Do we believe that biblical counseling should focus on the full range of human nature created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-28), comprehensively understanding counselees as relational (spiritual, social, and self-aware), rational, volitional, emotional, and physical?
23. As biblical counselors, are we growing in Christlike maturity as evidenced by the 9 biblical categories in The Christlike Maturity Inventory?
24. As biblical counselors, do we seek to help our counselees to grow in Christlike maturity as evidenced by the 9 biblical categories in The Christlike Maturity Inventory?

Mistake #7: We Devalue Emotions Rather Than Seeing Emotions as God’s Idea 

25. As biblical counselors, do we devalue or even demonize emotions, or do we see emotions as being of great value because they are God-designed aspects of the image of God?
26. How does it impact our biblical counseling when we realize that emotions were God’s idea and that God specifically declares that our emotions are fearfully and wonderfully made?
27. In our biblical counseling, how well or poorly are we using a biblical theology of our inner life? What we believe—about God and life—provides the direction we choose to pursue—and directs our experiential/emotional response to our world.
28. In our biblical counseling, how well or poorly are we using a practical theology of understanding our emotions? Your External Situation plus Your Internal Perception leads to Your Emotional Response.

Mistake #8: We Minimize the Complexity of the Soul-Body Interconnection 

29. As soul physicians, does our emphasis on the soul morph into a sole focus on the soul that minimizes the complex interrelationship between the body and soul? Do we remain sensitive to physical factors and organic issues that affect people’s lives? Do we encourage a thorough assessment and sound treatment for any suspected physical problems?
30. As soul physicians, do we understand and apply the Bible’s Creation-Fall-Redemption teaching on the complex interrelationship of the body and soul—as designed by God, depraved by sin, and saved by grace?
31. As soul physicians, do we seek to understand the impact of the body on our counselee’s soul? Do we seek to understand the soul’s impact on our counselee’s body?
32. Like Luther, as physicians of the soul, do we avoid a materialistic worldview which assumes that every issue is exclusively biologically-based? And do we avoid a spiritualistic worldview that assumes that every issue is exclusively soul-based?

Mistake #9: We Maximize Sin While We Minimize Grace 

33. Which do we emphasize as biblical counselors: sin or grace? In our concern for confronting sin, do we sometimes inadvertently become sin-sniffers, idol-spotters, and sin-maximizers? Or, as we confront sin, do we consciously communicate Christ’s superabounding, amazing, infinite grace?
34. As biblical counselors, are we like the Apostle Paul, reminding one another that where sin abounds, grace superabounds?
35. As biblical counselors, are we like the Puritans, not only loading the conscience with guilt, but even more so lightening the conscience with grace? Like Luther, are we dispensers of Christ’s gospel of grace?
36. As biblical counselors, are we loving ambassadors of reconciliation who seek to share that “it’s horrible to sin, but it’s wonderful to be forgiven”?

Mistake #10: We Confuse the Sufficiency of Scripture with the Competency of the Counselor 

37. As biblical counselors, do we understand that while the Scriptures are sufficient for every soul issue, no individual counselor is competent for every soul issue?
38. As biblical counselors, are we committed to ongoing “4C” growth in Christlike character, biblical content, counseling competency, and Christian community?
39. As biblical counselors, do we insist upon a comprehensive body of Christ team approach where we humbly acknowledge our need for Christ and the body of Christ?
40. As biblical counselors, are we humbly willing to refer to other more experienced biblical counselors? Are we humbly willing to receive additional biblical supervision and equipping?