A Word from Bob
This series became my book, Consider Your Counsel: Addressing Ten Mistakes in Our Biblical Counseling. For free resources related to the book, and to purchase a copy on sale, go here.
You’re reading Part 7 of a 10-part blog series on 10 Common Mistakes Biblical Counselors Sometimes Make.
- Mistake #1: We Elevate Data Collection Above Soul Connection. (Part 1 also contains further background, explanation, and “motivation” for this series.)
- Mistake #2: We Share God’s Eternal Story Before We Listen Well and Wisely to Our Friend’s Earthly Story.
- Mistake #3: We Talk at Counselees Rather Than Exploring Scriptures with Counselees.
- Mistake #4: We Practice Half-Biblical Counseling If We Address Sin but Neglect Suffering.
- Mistake #5: We Fail to Follow the Trinity’s Model of Comforting Care.
- Mistake #6: We Tend to View People One-Dimensionally
Mistake #7: We Devalue Emotions Rather Than Seeing Emotions as God’s Idea
When it comes to emotions, we seem prone to extremes, even in the Christian world. Some of us act as if emotions are a result of the Fall, so we stuff them or ignore them. Others of us act as if emotions are king and we allow them to rule us.
Some of us as biblical counselors seem to view emotions as not worthy of being considered part of the image of God. Emotions seem to be considered “the red-headed step-sister” of the image bearing family (with apologies to all red-headed step-sisters, including mine).
We accept that God created us with a soul to relate, a mind to think, and a will to choose. But somehow we act as if emotions were not God’s idea. We see emotions more as a cursing than a blessing. “More harm than good.” “Suppress them.” “Ignore them.” “Don’t have them.”
Some not only devalue emotions, they demonize them. We’ll often hear, “Don’t trust your emotions.” This is shared as a blanket statement implying that somehow emotions are “more fallen” than our desires, beliefs, and motivations. It would be more biblically accurate to say, “Don’t trust any desires, beliefs, motivations, or emotions that are not being surrendered to the Spirit’s control and evaluated through the grid of God’s Word.”
God’s Original Emotional Design for Us
What does the Bible teach? What model of Christlike emotionality do we find in God’s Word? If we are to live godly lives—Christlike lives—then we need God’s perspective on emotions. And if we are to counsel biblically, then we need a biblical, practical theology of emotions. (For a fuller examination of the Bible’s teaching on emotions, see: What Does the Bible Teach About Our Emotions? Learning the ABCs of Emotional Intelligence.)
We’ve forgotten that when God paused to ponder His image bearers, He declared that they—emotions included—were “very good.” Feelings were God’s idea.
Not only did God give emotions to us; He experiences them. God is an emotional being. Hear that again. Let’s not dodge it. God is an emotional being. God the Father experiences anger. God the Son weeps. God the Spirit grieves.
God created us in His image, including His emotional image. As John Piper notes:
“God’s emotional life is infinitely complex beyond our ability to fully comprehend.”[i]
Our emotionality is designed by God and like God. Our emotions were created very good.
Emotions: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Emotions are God-given. They are not satanic. Adam had them before the Fall. Christ has them. In themselves, emotions are not sinful. Emotions are beneficial, and yes, even beautiful.
The Psalmist understood this. In Psalm 139—the classic passage describing God’s utmost care in creating us—emotionality is the one aspect of our inner personality specifically referenced.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13).
“Inmost being” is kidneys or reins in the KJV. In Psalm 73:21, the same word is used to mean grieved and embittered. And in Proverbs 23:16, the kidneys are the place of rejoicing and gladness.
Hebrew language expert Hans Wolff explains that the Semitic language uses terms for kidneys, reins, stomach, bowels, and womb to describe the feeling states. As we literally experience and feel an emotion in our physical being, so we feel an emotion in our inner being. That’s why we say things like, “I have butterflies in my stomach.”
God created your inmost being, your kidneys, your emotions. Your emotions are fearfully and wonderfully made—by God. In fact, your emotions are the one element that God highlights as having been fearfully and wonderfully made!
Why Do We Feel What We Feel?
Why did our heavenly Father create us with emotions? For what purpose and function did God design our emotions?
The root of the word emotion is motere, from the Latin verb “to move,” plus the prefix “e” meaning “to move away.” This suggests that a tendency to act is implicit in every emotion.
All emotions are, in essence, inclinations to act and react. This means that:
God designed our emotions to put us in motion.
Emotions represent an inner response that motivates outward action—emotions signal the mind to go into high gear. To understand this biblically, consider 1 Peter 5:7-8.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:7-8).
We often fail to relate these two verses even though they are back-to-back in Scripture. Anxiety, like all emotions, is an emotion that motivates us to act. Our emotions and our mind sense something that we perceive to be dangerous—a threat. We can respond to that anxiety-provoking situation with fear of man or self-protection—that would be a fallen emotional response.
Or, we can respond to that anxiety-provoking situation by casting our anxiety on Him and by being alert and vigilant. We could describe the creation side of anxiety as vigilance—the ability to pick up on cues in our world and to respond in a God-dependent, other-protecting way.
So we don’t have to see emotions, including anxiety, only as a sinful. We could take what Paul said in Ephesians 4 about anger and paraphrase it from 1 Peter 5:7 with anxiety:
Be anxious, but do not sin. Instead, when your emotional sensors pick up a threat, then cast your anxiety upon the Lord. Use your anxiety to warn yourself to keep alert and vigilant. Don’t be like Adam in the garden who went off sentry duty when the serpent tempted him and Eve. Instead, be like Christ who was always on sentry duty to protect His disciples against the attacks of the Evil One.
Instead of seeing emotions as only evil or fallen, we need to understand that God designed emotions to play a crucial role that moves us to do a double-check, to look outward and inward. Emotions are our “inner sentinel” that connect us to our inner and outer world.
So, we can suggest working definitions of emotions:
- Emotions are our God-given capacity to connect our inner and outer world by experiencing our world and responding to those experiences.
- Our emotional capacity includes the ability to internally experience and respond to a full-range of both positive (pleasant) and negative (painful) inner feelings.
A Biblical Model for Understanding Our Emotional Responses
To understand our emotions, recall from Part 6 of this series how God designed our inner person. We’ve said that God designed us as emotional beings. However, that does not mean that we are only or primarily emotional beings. Nor does it mean that our emotions are meant to control us. Instead, God designed us so that our emotions submit to and respond to our beliefs and convictions.
- What we believe (Romans 12:1-2) (Rational Direction)
- About God and life (Psalm 42:1-2) (Relational Affection)
- Provides the direction we choose to pursue (Joshua 24:15) (Volitional Motivation), and
- Directs our experiential response (Ephesians 4:17-19) (Emotional Reaction) to our world.
- What we believe—about God and life—provides the direction we choose to pursue—and directs our experiential/emotional response to our world.
Let’s think again about how this plays itself out in 1 Peter 5:7-8. The context of 1 Peter is a Christian response to suffering and persecution. Notice the key to how we respond to suffering—it’s in the phrase “because He cares for you.”
Our belief about God (that He cares for us) is what motivates our godly response (casting our cares on God and vigilantly resisting the devil) to feelings of anxiety.
Godly beliefs (rational direction) lead to godly affections (spiritual affections) which in turn lead to godly motivation and actions (volitional motivation), and ultimately result in Christlike handling of our emotions (emotional reactions).
God Designed Our Emotions to Interact with Our Inner and Outer World
Now let’s take this introductory theology of our inner life and consider a practical biblical model for understanding emotions:
- Our External Situation + Our Internal Perception/Belief Leads to Our Emotional Response.
Picture our emotions like this:
- Negative Situation + Biblical Belief = Legitimate Painful Emotion (Sorrow, Sadness, etc.)
- Negative Situation + Unbiblical Belief = Illegitimate Painful Emotion (Hatred, Despair, etc.)
- Positive Situation + Biblical Belief = Legitimate Positive Emotion (Joy, Peace)
- Positive Situation + Unbiblical Belief = Illegitimate Positive Emotion (Pride, Self-Sufficiency, etc.)
Your boss says to you, “You blew it.” Your emotions react to this external situation and to your internal beliefs. What if you had a biblical belief: “I enjoy my boss’s approval, but I don’t need it, and I know that in Christ I am accepted by God”? Then you will respond with legitimate painful emotions such as sorrow, disappointment, or remorse (if you were in the wrong).
On the other hand, what if “fear of man” is a besetting sin in your heart? What if you believe, “I must have my boss’s approval”? Then you might respond with illegitimate negative emotions such as uncontrolled anger, depression to the point of despair, hopelessness, or hatred.
Now let’s say your boss says to you, “You always do A+ work!” You could respond to that positive external situation with a biblical belief like, “I live for an audience of One—Christ, and I am glad that my Christlike work ethic glorifies my heavenly Father.” You would then experience positive legitimate emotions like peace, joy, and contentment.
On the other hand, if your boss says, “You always do A+ work,” and you are living for the praise of man, then you might experience illegitimate positive emotions like pride and arrogance.
The key to our emotional reaction is our belief or perception about the meaning behind the event.
Events determine whether our emotions are pleasant or painful. Our longings, beliefs, and goals determine whether our emotional reaction is holy or sinful.
Emotions are not to be devalued, but are of great value. Emotions are not to be demonized, but are instead God-designed core aspects of the image of God in us.
Assessing Our Biblical Counseling
- As biblical counselors, do we devalue or even demonize emotions, or do we see emotions as being of great value because they are God-designed aspects of the image of God?
- How does it impact our biblical counseling when we realize that emotions were God’s idea and that God specifically declares that our emotions are fearfully and wonderfully made?
- In our biblical counseling, how well or poorly are we using a biblical theology of our inner life? What we believe—about God and life—provides the direction we choose to pursue—and directs our experiential/emotional response to our world.
- In our biblical counseling, how well or poorly are we using a practical theology of understanding our emotions? Your External Situation plus Your Internal Perception leads to Your Emotional Response.
The Rest of the Story
I invite you to join us for Part 8:
Mistake #8: We Minimize the Complexity of the Soul-Body Interconnection.
[i]John Piper, The Pleasures of God: Meditations on God’s Delight in Being God, p. 72.
