The Evangelical Christian world seems to be filled with “truth-telling” without love.
What does God’s Word—our ultimate authoritative source of Truth—say about our heart attitude and relational demeaner when we speak the truth?
Speaking the Truth in ______________
From Twitter feeds, Facebook updates, and Evangelical blog posts you would think that Ephesians 4:15 says:
“But speaking the truth in vitriol, disrespect, anger, demeaning words, venom, bile, bitterness, sarcasm, hatred, and snarkiness…”
But, of course, Ephesians 4:15 commands us to speak the truth in love.
Refuting Error in ______________
Based upon how many of us speak against others, you’d think that God’s Word says we are to refute error in anger.
But, of course, that’s not what the Truth says about speaking truth.
It’s interesting that so many truth-tellers want to quote parts of God’s Truth out of context.
For example, truth-folks will often quote Ephesians 5:11.
“Have nothing to do with fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.”
But somehow they/we miss the context for this truth. Such as:
“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:1-2).
What if, before every snarky tweet or angry blog post, we used Ephesians 5:1-2 to assessed our words about exposing truth (Ephesians 5:11)?
Titus 1 provides another example of what the Truth says about our manner and motivation in speaking truth and refuting error. Many will quote Paul’s words about elders refuting those who oppose sound doctrine (Titles 1:9).
But again, context is king. What is the heart character of this elder who refutes error? The error-refuter is to be:
Blameless, not wild, not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not violent, but instead hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined, and one who first can encourage others before refuting others.
That’s the Titus 1:5-9 character context and command for refuting error.
Yes, it is biblical to refute error. Yes, it is biblical to expose error.
But, yes, it is biblical to do so in loving ways that are not snarky, overbearing, quick-tempered, angry, violent ways.
The Truth About Gentleness
God’s Truth gets even more specific about how we are to defend the truth—with gentleness. Consider 2 Timothy 2:23-26.
“Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.”
Yes, refute error. How? Not in a quarrelsome way. But instead in a kind way, not in a resentful manner.
Yes, instruct in truth. How? Gently. The Greek is forbearing in gentleness or patiently gentle, or gently gentle.
Not surprisingly, the Greek root behind “gentle” in 2 Timothy 2 is the same Greek root behind the word “gentle” in Matthew 11:28-30 where Jesus describes His heart as “gentle and lowly.”
Equally unsurprising is the truth that the core heart quality of the Christian leader includes being gentle, not quarrelsome, not violent (2 Timothy 3:1-3).
As I write this blog post, God’s Word insists that I ask myself:
“Am I defending the truth about love from a gentle and lowly heart in a patiently gentle way that is not rude, quarrelsome, or violent, but is patient, kind, and considerate?”
Don’t Refute Doctrinal Heresy with Relational Heresy
If we fail to search our hearts, then we can easily fall into the sinful trap of refuting doctrinal heresy with relational heresy.
Doctrinal heresy is missing the mark of biblical truth.
Relational heresy is missing the mark of biblical love.
What is the biblical mark of love? Perhaps we could paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 and apply it to our Twitter tweets, Facebook updates, and blog posts.
“If I tweet with the tongues of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I provide Facebook updates or post blogs that can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, but do not have love, I am nothing. My refutation of error must be patient, kind. My tweets must not envy, must not boast, must not be proud. My blog posts must not dishonor others, they are not to be self-seeking, not to be easily angered, not to keep a record of wrongs. My Facebook updates do not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. My social media heartbeat is to always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Such love never fails.”
God’s Truth has much to say about love. God’s Truth teaches us that the ultimate heresy is the relational heresy of not loving God and not loving others. Consider Matthew 22:34-40.
Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
There we have it. The One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life give us the Truth standards for refuting error.
We love God and we love our neighbor as ourselves when we expose darkness and refute error with the gentleness and humility of Jesus.
But Didn’t Gentle Jesus Overturn the Tables???
Here’s the common come back: “But Jesus overturned the tables!!!”
As folks focused on truth, let’s look at the specific truth context. Jesus confronted those in the temple not about doctrinal error, but about relational error—lack of love for God by dishonoring God through dishonoring His place of worship.
This coincides with the bigger picture of Jesus’ ministry focus. For whom did Jesus reserve His most forceful (yet always loving) confrontation?
Jesus most consistently and passionately confronted those who were supposed truth-tellers who were without mercy and love—the Pharisees—the relational heretics.
Jesus reserved his seven woes for the “teachers of the Law and the Pharisees” (Matthew 23:1) who would not lift a finger to help the burdened. Jesus reserved his strongest confrontation of error for the error of loveless leaders.
“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel” (Matthew 23:23-24).
They Will Know We Are Christ’s Disciples by Our ______________
Having humbly washed His disciples’ feet—including the disciple who would betray Him and all those disciples who would forsake Him—Jesus commanded us:
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
It is not:
“They will know you are My disciples by your argumentativeness, and your critical spirit, and your pettiness.”
It is:
“They will know you are My disciples by your love—embodied by Jesus’ gentleness and reflective of the consistent biblical command to refute error kindly, humbly, and gently.
Join the Conversation
How would our Christian lives and relationships become different if we asked ourselves:
“Am I defending the truth from a gentle and lowly heart in a patiently gentle way that is not rude, angry, quarrelsome, demeaning, or violent, but is humble, kind, and considerate?”
