Empathy Q & A: Empathy Is Biblical, Part 10

A Word from Bob

You’re reading Part 10—the final post—in an RPM Ministries blog mini-series on biblical empathy.

You can read Part 1 here: Truth Without Empathy Is Sin.

You can read Part 2 here: Rich Soul Empathy—Climbing in the Casket.

You can read Part 3 here: How to Be a Miserable, Non-Empathetic, “Comforter.”

You can read Part 4 here: What Is Biblical Empathy?

You can read Part 5 here: The Trinity As Our Model for Empathy.

You can read Part 6 here: Empathy Is Theological Truth.

You can read Part 7 here: Empathy’s Companion: Encouragement to Hope in Christ Alone.

You can read Part 8 here: 4 Characteristics of Christlike Empathizers.

You can read Part 9 here: 15 Word Pictures of Biblical Empathy.

Mini-Series Introduction

There’s been some controversy in Evangelical Christian circles the past year about “empathy,” with some saying, “empathy is sinful.” For 36 years (since 1985), I’ve equipped God’s people for compassionate, empathetic one-another care. So, biblical empathy has been important to me long before the current controversy. In this blog mini-series, rather than presenting a negative critique of writings that say, “empathy is sinful,” I’m seeking to offer a positive presentation of what the Bible says about empathetic one-another care. Simply stated, I desire to present a brief, positive, biblical case for biblical empathy—what it is, why it is vital, and how we can minister Christlike empathy to one another. And, rather than “re-inventing the wheel,” I’m developing this series from the culmination of 36 years of thinking about this topic, especially as summarized in my equipping book, Gospel Conversations: How to Care Like Christ.

Commencement

Unlike some counselors, I never label my final counseling session the “termination” session. I shudder just typing the word “termination.” Instead, I tend to call the final session the “commencement” session. Like a high school or higher ed commencement service, the word commencement pictures not so much an ending, but rather the first stage of a new beginning.

So today, in Part 10 of this RPM Ministries blog mini-series, let’s consider this “Our Commencement Post.” We’re wrapping up and sending you away on the first stage of an ongoing journey of Jesus-like biblical empathy for one another.

To “commence” well, I thought it might be helpful to formulate today’s post in a Q & A format in which I’m seeking both to summarize what’s gone before and to recommend what might come next.

**Question #1, “Remind us, Bob, what motivated your writing this series on Empathy Is Biblical?”**

First, as I’ve noted, I’ve equipped God’s people for compassionate, empathetic one-another soul care since 1985. So, writing about empathy was really “re-writing” about one of my passions.

Second, scores of my readers directly asked (implored) me to write about empathy because they were confused and concerned about the various recent online writings about “empathy is sin” and “untethered empathy.” I resisted their pleas for some time because I don’t like to wade into online controversies. But then I recalled the focus of my RPM Ministries:

To equip God’s people with Christ-centered, church-based, comprehensive, compassionate, and culturally-informed resources by sharing a positive presentation of biblical counseling, one-another ministry, and daily Christian living.

Third, that’s when I decided to craft this series with this motivation/purpose:

I desire to present a brief, positive, biblical case for biblical empathy—what it is, why it is vital, and how we can minister Christlike empathy to one another.

Question #2: “So, Bob, were you ‘targeting’ anyone as you penned these blog posts?”

I don’t even like that word “targeting.” It seems to imply an intent to harm, hurt, or hinder.

Did I have a “target audience”? Yes. As I just mentioned, my target audience first and foremost were those Christian brothers and sisters who expressed confusion and even hurt as they read posts about “empathy is sinful.” I wanted to provide these brothers and sisters with a biblical case for biblical empathy—that’s my “target.”

Question #3: “Bob, is there even a need for a reminder that empathy is biblical?”

Yes, because of the message of Scripture. Long before the current controversy, way back when I was a Bible college and seminary student, I was struck by all the times the Bible warns against truth without love and all the times the Bible rebukes shepherds who lack compassion and empathy for their flock. That’s why I wrote Part 1: Truth Without Empathy Is Sin. Recall our summary of Part 1: Let’s put our emphasis where the Bible does—on rebuking the error of untethering truth from loving empathy.

Yes, because of the current context. In equipping and supervising well over 1,000 pastors and seminary and Bible college students, and well over 1,000 lay Christians, it is clear that we need more equipping in empathy, not less equipping in empathy. As a biblical counseling supervisor of Evangelical Christians, less than 1% of the time do I need to remind pastors/students to “speak truth.” However, with a huge percentage of pastors/students, I do need to remind and equip them to speak truth in love with biblical empathy. The crying need of the day is for more equipping in biblical empathy, not less. I’ll never forget a conversation over a dozen years ago with one of the founders of the modern biblical counseling movement. He had been using my equipping materials, including lessons on biblical empathy. He shared with me, “Bob, my father was a man with uncontrolled emotions. So I swore off all emotions and my biblical counseling equipping was focused on truth. Teaching your materials on empathy has revolutionized how I counsel and how I equip others to counsel. The biblical counseling world needs more help in equipping our people for compassionate, loving, empathetic one-another ministry.” I agree.

**Question #4: “But, Bob, why not directly critique those writings that empathy is sinful?**

First, I’ve read a batch of those posts. And before penning this series, I talked to a couple of the writers. And since beginning this series, I’ve had interactions with a few more of those article writers. So, I have engaged those brothers. But those were private interactions.

Second, others have directly addressed those blog posts about “empathy is sin.”

Third, as I noted, the focus of my ministry is not a negative critique of others, but rather a positive biblical presentation of truth (the best I understand it).

Fourth, in providing this mini-series, I’m wanting my readers to be like the Berean Christians in Acts 17 who studied the Scriptures, studied what Paul said, studied what others were saying, and as mature Christians came to their own biblical conclusions. Read my posts. Read the posts on untethered empathy. And assess everything you read through the grid of God’s Word.

Fifth, clearly there is a growing amount of content out there about “empathy is sinful.” I thought that the time was right to provide some blog post content about “empathy is biblical.” Then people can compare and contrast and come to their own biblically-based “Berean” decisions.

Sixth, I’ve read responses by the “empathy is sinful” authors to posts that directly challenged their ideas. I’ve not seen fruitful results from such confrontational, combative blog interactions. It seems to me that people tend to “double-down” and “dig in their heals” during these online challenges.

**Question #5: “Well, Bob, is there anything you would say or have said in interaction with the folks writing about empathy is sinful?”**

First, I’d encourage them to change their title. I get the fact that a title like Empathy Is Sinful can get people’s attention. I even get the thinking that the concept of empathy has the potential to be misused—by so empathizing that one could untether empathy from truth.

- As I’ve said, I don’t see the Bible having that emphasis on untethered empathy. Nor do I see biblical counselors practicing untethered empathy. Nor do I see most secular therapists practicing untethered empathy.

- Let’s make some comparisons.
  - “Love” could be misused to “enable” people to continue down an unhealthy and unholy path. But would we really call something “biblical love” if it winks at sin? So I doubt that we would write a series of blog posts entitled, “Love Is Sinful.”
  - Emotions are God-given, God-designed, and beautiful, yet they can be mishandled. But would or should we label a series of blog posts, “Emotions Are Sinful?” Or, would such a title confuse and concern people about the biblical nature of emotions? Would not such a title sound like it was demonizing all emotions?
  - We can misdirect our desires, but we should not write a series of blog posts on “Desires Are Sinful.” That would not be biblically accurate—because desires are God-designed and can be beautiful, or can become sinful, but they are not in and of themselves sinful.
  - We could write a series of blog posts saying, “Anger Is Sinful.” But that would not be biblically accurate as it implies that all anger is sinful. Yet the the Bible commands us, “Be angry but sin not.”

- Again, I understand the rhetorical power of “Empathy Is Sinful.” But for all the reasons outlined throughout this series, I would ask folks to reconsider the use of the title and concept, “Empathy Is Sinful.” Would it be that hard to humbly make that change…? Wouldn’t a change in title communicate the point more clearly without causing such hurtful confusion and unnecessary consternation?

Second, I’d encourage them to talk more about “Truth Untethered from Loving Empathy” than about “Untethered Empathy.” If you’ve read Parts 1-9 of this blog mini-series, then you know why I would encourage this…

Third, I’d encourage them to invite their readers to read this blog mini-series and the free PDF resource that collates all 10 of these posts. The writers of the “Empathy Is Sinful” posts, could say, “We’ve said all along that there is good empathy and a good use of empathy, sympathy, and compassion. If you want to read someone who highlights a positive biblical presentation of biblical empathy, check out Bob Kellemen’s blog series and PDF resource Empathy Is Biblical.”

Fourth, I’d say, “I appreciate the intent of what you are trying to do. I get that you are wanting to caution people not to so empathize with others that they drown out the need for truth.” Then I’d say, “You do realize that most counselors don’t do that, right? And you do realize that what you’re really talking about is the ‘mis-practice’ or ‘malpractice’ of empathy, not the healthy, biblical practice of empathy? And while you mention biblical empathy briefly in some of your posts, since people seem to not be getting that message, you may want to highlight more the truth that empathy is biblical. You’re really saying, ‘Bad empathy is bad.’ I think everyone would agree with that. Now say more about the value and need for biblical empathy…”

Fifth, I’d say, “Given the scriptural warnings against harsh, uncaring, non-empathetic shepherds, and given the cultural context of our day of domineering, spiritually abusive pastors, please caution your many readers—especially your readers who are pastors and pastors-to-be (seminary students)—against the lack of biblical empathy. Please encourage your readers—and all pastors—to practice Trinity-like compassionate empathy” (see Part 5: The Trinity As Our Model for Empathy).

Question #6: “Bob, what’s your final desired ‘take-away’ for your readers?”

It’s the same as my original purpose:

I desire to present a brief, positive, biblical case for biblical empathy—what it is, why it is vital, and how we can minister Christlike empathy to one another.

So, my desired take-away is that all Christians—especially pastors and seminary students training to be pastors—would learn how to minister Christlike empathy to God’s sheep.

The Rest of the Story

By popular request, I’m turning this entire 10-part RPM Ministries blog post from my Truth and Love blog site into a free PDF resource: Empathy Is Biblical. (Link Coming Soon.)

Join the Conversation

You’ve read my Q & A.

How would you answer any of the questions you read?

What question would you ask me?