A Marriage Mini-Series
You’re reading Part 2 in a several-part blog mini-series on marriage. I’m developing these posts from my book, Gospel-Centered Marriage Counseling: An Equipping Guide for Pastors and Counselors. You can read Part 1 here:
4 Foundations of Marriage and Marriage Counseling.
The Ultimate Purpose of Our Marriage: Glorifying God
In Ephesians, Paul casts a biblical vision for marriage: the grand purpose of every marriage is to glorify God.
Messed up, messy marriages have a great opportunity to bring God glory. When change occurs, couples can become a praise testimony to the glory of God’s grace at work in their marriage.
The Bible reveals at least three ways that marriages glorify God.
Marital Purpose #1: Every Marriage Is Meant to Represent the Trinity
In the beginning, God created us in his image. Male and female God created us. He blessed male and female, husband and wife, and commanded them to be fruitful and multiply, to fill the earth, subdue it, and rule over it (Gen. 1:26-28).
Adam and Eve, male and female, husband and wife, were created to reflect God. Within the Trinity there is unity, diversity, and equality. Within every marriage there is to be unity, diversity, and equality—distinct but equal.
God designed marriages to reflect the intimacy within the Trinity. John 1:1 echoes Genesis 1:1.
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”
The little word “with” means “in the presence of, face-to-face with.” Father, Son, and Holy Spirit experience the intimacy of communion.
Another little word—“was”—is also instructive. John could have used a past tense that indicates a snap-shot: if we happened to travel back in time to the beginning, perhaps we might catch the Trinity in a moment of togetherness.
Instead, John used a past tense that indicates continuous action, which pictures an ongoing video: whenever we happened to travel back in time, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit would always, forever, continuously be in never-ending soul-to-soul communion. To reflect this intimacy, God created image bearers—male and female—who could unite and become one.
Marital Purpose #2: Every Marriage Is Meant to Reflect Christ and the Church
From Ephesians 5:21-33, every biblical marriage counselor knows that marriages are meant to reflect Christ and the church.
A wife’s respectful, loving relationship with her husband reflects the church’s relationship to Christ.
A husband’s sacrificial, shepherding love for his wife reflects Christ’s relationship to the church.
When the on-looking world observes a Christian marriage, they are to step back in awe and give praise to God for the eternal loving relationship between Christ and the bride of Christ.
Marital Purpose #3: Every Marriage Is Meant for Couples to Nurture Each Other to Become More Like Christ
The husband-wife relationship is meant to be the most fertile ground for growth in grace.
Husbands are to minister to their wives so they increasingly reflect the beauty and purity of the Lord (Eph. 5:35-32).
Wives are to live such godly lives that even without words their husbands are won over to Christ and become more like Christ (1 Pet. 3:1-6).
In Colossians 3:18-19, we find a shortened version of Paul’s words to spouses.
“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” In the immediate preceding context, we see Paul encouraging us to minister to one another. Contextually, we could appropriately paraphrase Paul, “Husbands and wives, let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. Husbands and wives, let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God” (Col. 3:15-16, author’s paraphrase).
When counseling couples, I like to say:
“God is calling the two of you as husband and wife to be each other’s best biblical counselor! You’re to be each other’s most vital one-another minister, most important encourager, most intimate spiritual friend. You’re to speak and live gospel truth in love with one another so that you both grow up together in Christ.”
3 Glorious Purposes
Our marriages have the calling, opportunity, and privilege of being living pictures of the Trinity, of Christ and the church, and of maturing image bearers.
The purpose of marriage is to reveal God’s glory as we represent the Trinity, reflect Christ and the church, and enhance the maturity of our spouse.
This should make a daily and an eternal difference in our marriages and in our marriage counseling.
Application for Marriages and for Marriage Counselors
- Concerning Marital Purpose #1: Every Marriage Is Meant to Represent the Trinity:
- If you are married, what difference could it have made in your last marital disagreement if you and your spouse were consciously aware of the truth that your marriage was meant to represent the Trinity’s relationship of oneness?
- As a marriage counselor, what difference could this truth make in your next marriage counseling session with a couple in conflict?
- Concerning Marital Purpose #2: Every Marriage Is Meant to Reflect Christ and the Church:
- If you are married, during your last public interaction, what difference could the truth of displaying to the world the love between Christ and his bride have made?
- As a marriage counselor, what difference could this truth make in your next marriage counseling session with a troubled couple?
- Concerning Marital Purpose #3: Every Marriage Is Meant for Couples to Nurture Each Other to Become More Like Christ:
- If you are married, when you ponder the purpose of your interactions with your spouse, what difference could it make if you focused on your calling of helping your spouse to become more like Christ?
- As a marriage counselor, what difference could this truth make in your next marriage counseling session with a struggling couple?
- The purpose of marriage is to reveal God’s glory as we represent the Trinity, reflect Christ and the church, and enhance the maturity of our spouse.
- If you are married, what daily and eternal differences could this make in your marriage?
- What difference could these purposes make in your goals as a marriage counselor?
A good marriage makes all the difference, so rare realy rare to find. If a couple is a example and are called to be marriage councelers its something very beautiful . The efect is not just on themselves also on their children and generation after generation after them and Spree the good seed through wise councel and instruction .