Counseling Wars: Counselors Conflicts
The modern nouthetic biblical counseling movement has a long history of conflict. This includes conflict with those “outside” the biblical counseling family—with Christian integrative counselors. It also includes inter-family conflict among/between biblical counselors.
In 2007, in “Cure of Souls (and the Modern Psychotherapies),” David Powlison addressed conflict among counselors head-on, asking:
“But how do we talk about the conflict constructively?” (7).
“How can we fairly characterize the different ‘sides’ in the current ‘counseling wars,’ so that matters are clarified not muddied? How do we speak the truth in love in pursuit of a just peace, rather than exacerbating quarrels and perpetuating self-serving caricatures?” (7).
While that article focused on conflict with those outside the biblical counseling family (with Christian integrative counselors and Christian psychologists), David’s winsome words of winsome have application for addressing conflict among biblical counselors.
How NOT to Handle Counseling Conflict: Don’t Become a “Zealous Polemicist”
We often learn best by first considering what not to do. Powlison helps us here as he talks about the danger of becoming “zealous polemicists.”
1. Reject Reckless Words and Disparaging Labels
Powlison illustrates some of the sneering labels used in his day: “psychology bashers” and “psycho-heretics” (7). He counsels us to eschew such destructive labels.
“Sneering obliterates all discussion of profound issues. God’s children are rarely edified by scathing words” (7).
“In fact, there are some true bashers and heretics around. But provocative language and sweeping generalizations usually serve to provoke, nurture, and justify the worst tendencies in human nature, not the further outworking of our redemption” (7).
“Reckless and factious words fail the test of constructive, gracious, gentle speech to which God binds us and by which He will examine us (Eph. 4:15, 29; 2 Tim. 2:24f; Matt. 7:1-5)” (7).
Speaking positively of Eric Johnson’s contribution to mature counseling conversations, Powlison notes that,
“Johnson comments insightfully on the communication breakdown caused by posturing, polemics, and disparaging labels” (12).
2. Avoid Caricatures and Mischaracterizing Others
Powlison counsels us to reject caricatures of others. Caricatures obscure truth.
“The positive theological task that is the need of our age gets obscured. Caricatures of truth and discernment replace the realities. Words that are not constructive, timely, and grace-giving are rotten and non-nutritive, whatever their formal likeness to Christian content (Eph. 4:29). To lose charity, tenderheartedness, sympathy, and generosity is always to simultaneously pervert the redemptive nature of biblical revelation” (20).
A primary way we mischaracterize others is by selectively quoting them. Powlison explains:
“When we look at each group through the worst of the other’s language, both groups appear shamefully disreputable” (7).
Powlison is unafraid of getting to the heart issue behind caricatures—prideful self-righteousness:
“We feel self-righteous when we pose and posture next to our caricatures” (7).
Nor is Powlison afraid to identify the rotten fruit of such falsehood—Christians remain immature children.
“No doubt, the sower of discord and falsehood is always active in hindering the church from growing up toward real wisdom regarding both the ailment and the redemption of our humanity” (7-8).
3. Refuse to Major in Exposing and Debunking Others
Powlison suggests that we major in developing helpful, robust biblical models of counseling. While he recognizes the secondary task of addressing error, Powlison exposes what happens when we major on criticizing others.
“Those who major in the secondary priority—exposing and debunking alternative models—create a different problem for the body of Christ. Criticism without the rich, growing edge of the first priority is unpalatable and unedifying. If we major in criticism, we become polemicists, rather than agents of redemption” (19).
“Often polemicists excuse their loveless rough edges by the demands of truth. But they lose more than they realize. In fact, when love and the growth of positive truth are lost, truth is also lost. Biblical truth loses its scope, balance, depth, applicability, savor, and growing edge when the second priority seizes center stage” (19).
Powlison counsels us to avoid seeing ourselves as prophets on the wall.
“Narrowed ‘truth’ may bristle enough to defend one city wall, but it is not good enough to conquer the world. Only when our first priority is first, do we Christians have a robust, radiant, and sensible alternative in our hearts and in our mouths, something good to offer those we critique, those we counsel, and ourselves” (20).
4. Eliminate Polemical Language: Don’t Superheat Conflict
Returning again to pejorative labels such as “psychology bashers,” “psycho-heretics,” “theologizers,” and “psychologizers,” Powlison counsels us to describe one another “more calmly” (8). He explains the danger of polemical language and labels:
“Polemical language tends to subvert understanding and godliness by superheating the conversation” (8).
Polemical language and pejorative labels flow from a heart that “needs” an enemy, “needs” a battle, “needs” conflict, “needs” to put down others in order to feel better about oneself. This “need” for warfare superheats warfare.
How TO Handle Counseling Conflict: Winsome Words of Wisdom
Recall Powlison’s purpose:
“But how do we talk about the conflict constructively?” (7).
1. Characterize Others Fairly
Rather than false caricatures, Powlison counsels fairly characterizing others.
“How can we fairly characterize the different ‘sides’ in the current ‘counseling wars,’ so that matters are clarified not muddied? How do we speak the truth in love in pursuit of a just peace, rather than exacerbating quarrels and perpetuating self-serving caricatures?” (7).
Caricatures muddle and obfuscate rather than speaking truth and communicating reality. Mischaracterizing intensifies conflict rather than promoting peace.
2. Represent Others Accurately
Rather than selectively looking at the worst aspects of someone else’s model, rather than misrepresenting someone else’s model, Powlison explains that:
“It is always good policy to interact with the best representatives of a point of view, not the worst representatives” (7).
3. Acknowledge the Positives in Other Viewpoints
Rather than respond with anger as we view others as enemies, Powlison urges us to respond gently as we view one another as brothers and sisters in Christ.
“I suspect that most of us are brothers and sisters to be dealt with gently.”
Since we are brothers and sisters in Christ,
“We ought to sympathetically appreciate the other’s honest description of shaping experiences. We ought to acknowledge the valid insights and concerns, even if we end up disagreeing with the conclusions” (7).
Christ-honoring conversations require that,
“We must listen, think, and argue well when we engage a thoughtful disputant” (7).
We. Must. Listen.
Notice how Powlison maintains this positive perspective in his article as he writes about those with whom he has theoretical disagreements.
“Though one can find exceptions, most supposed psycho-heretics are not out to swallow the camel of secularity and foist it on an unsuspecting church. Many work to critique the secularity of the modern psychologies and to screen out what seems to fail the test of Scripture” (8).
Powlison turns the script upside down. He refuses to use pejorative language that mocks someone, such as, “a supposed biblical counselor,” or a “so-called biblical counselor,” or a “self-proclaimed biblical counselor.” Instead, he defends those who are falsely labeled “psycho-heretics,” acknowledging and even highlighting their commitment to Scripture.
Counseling Wars or Pursuing Peace? Counseling Warriors or Counseling Peacemakers?
Powlison teaches and models how to speak the truth in love in the pursuit of peace, rather than exacerbating quarrels and perpetuating self-serving caricatures.
