Orthodoxy and Orthopraxy

We talk a lot about doctrinal heresy—and it is a vital issues that we must address.

Orthodoxy—right belief—is essential.

We seem to talk less about relational heresy.

Orthopraxy—right relationships, right living—is equally essential.

We talk even less about right relationships while talking about right doctrine. Our failure to address this runs counter to God’s all-sufficient Word. The Bible is replete with commands about how we treat one another while we address doctrinal disagreements. The Bible consistently commands us to guard our hearts against relational heresy.

The Greatest Command: Love/Orthopraxy 

The Bible consistently emphasizes God’s greatest commandment—love. 

• Matthew 22:35-40: “‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’”

See the end of this post for a small sampling of all the times the Bible teaches about the greatest commandment—love.[i] You will see that love: is the greatest commandment; is the royal law; is the most important commandment; fulfills the whole law; summarizes the whole law.

Wrong Relationships When Addressing Right Doctrine: The Unity of Truth and Love

God’s Word frequently relates this overarching command to love to the specific context of addressing right doctrine. First, the Bible consistently unites love and truth—for all people—but especially for pastors-teachers, including those who preach, teach, and counsel the Word.

• 1 Timothy 4:16: “Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.”

Paul practiced what he preached.

• 2 Timothy 3:10: “You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance.”

The love/truth unity is not only for pastors; it is for all Christians. We could paraphrase 1 Corinthians 13:1-2 like this: “If I strive to win all theological debates, but have not love; I am a noisy gong or clanging cymbal. If I think I can uniquely fathom all systematic theology doctrines, but do not have love; I am nothing.”

• 1 Corinthians 13:1-2: “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.”

Likewise, Ephesians 4:15, in the original Greek, is not simply “speaking the truth in love,” but “truthing in love,” or “integrity in love.” Paul links the character of our heart with the content of our theology—they are biblically inseparable.

• Ephesians 4:15: “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”

We talk in the biblical counseling world about integration or non-integration of biblical truth and extra-biblical information. Well, the Bible commands the integration of truth and love, of character and content.

Wrong Relationships When Addressing Right Doctrine: Relational Heresy

What does God’s all-sufficient Word says about relational heresy? What passages would we look at and what biblical principles could we distill in developing a beginning biblical theology of relational heresy?

First, in the context of addressing false teaching, Paul commands Christian leaders not to be quarrelsome.

• 2 Timothy 2:23-25: “Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Opponents must be gently instructed.”

Paul especially highlights the danger of Christian leaders quarrelling about words.

• 2 Timothy 2:14: “Keep reminding God’s people of these things. Warn them before God against quarreling about words; it is of no value, and only ruins those who listen.”

• Titus 3:9-11: “But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.”

Paul’s command aligns with Jesus’s confrontation of the Pharisees who strain at a gnat but swallow a camel.

• Matthew 23:23-24: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.”

Christian leaders, including biblical counselors, who engage in godless chatter become increasingly godless.

• 2 Timothy 2:16: “Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.”

Biblical teachers and biblical counselors who can’t control their tempers and tongue will be judged more strictly.

• James 3:1-2: “Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.”

Biblically, the evidence of biblical wisdom is biblical love. According to James, we can’t claim to be wise biblical counselors if we live foolish lives of divisiveness.

• James 3:13-18: “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”

Paul specifically states that a quarrelsome spirit disqualifies someone from being a soul shepherd.

• 1 Timothy 3:2-3: “Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.”

Those who shepherd God’s people, those who teach and counsel God’s Word, must not be overbearing, quick-tempered, lacking self-control, and relationally undisciplined.

• Titus 1:7-8: “Since an overseer manages God’s household, he must be blameless—not overbearing, not quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent, not pursuing dishonest gain. Rather, he must be hospitable, one who loves what is good, who is self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined.”

We can’t claim to be wise counselors if our behavior is that of a fool—a person who is quick to quarrel.

• Proverbs 20:3: “It is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel.”

• Ecclesiastes 7:9: “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”

We can’t nouthetically counsel others to address their sins if we model anger, stirring up conflict, and being hot-tempered.

• Proverbs 29:22: “An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.

Every child of God who is maturing in Christlikeness will seek to avoid an angry, argumentative, quarrelsome spirit.

• Proverbs 15:18: “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”

• Colossians 3:8: “But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.”

What is the root cause of quarrelsomeness? Pride.

• Proverbs 13:10: “Where there is strife, there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice.”

Humble engagement listens in love and assumes the best, honestly seeking to understand the other and humbly learn from the other person. Pride, on the other hand, acts as if I have nothing left to learn, but that others must humble themselves and learn from my superior wisdom.

A Biblical Example; A Modern-Day Concern 

Friend, and biblical counselor, Joseph Leavell, on Twitter/X shared how this quarrelsome spirit plays itself out in Scripture and in our world today.

“An Observation: ‘And the scribes and the Pharisees watched him, to see whether he would heal on the Sabbath, so that they might find a reason to accuse him’ (Luke 6:7). The word ‘watched’ carries the idea of continuous action. It’s the same word used in Acts 9:24 of the Jews watching the gates for Paul to come through so they could kill him.

Like a crouching lion watching their prey, the Pharisees were side-eyed watching Jesus, just waiting for him to say or do something they deemed wrong, and when he did…they would be ready to pounce and destroy.

It is the spirit of the Pharisees to watch those with whom we disagree, combing through old tweets, podcasts, blogs, sermons, books, hoping to find some word, phrase, or thought that we can pounce on and tear to shreds. We respond with articles, podcasts, etc. of our own, not because there is a good faith disagreement that needs flushed out but because we’ve been just waiting and watching for the right opportunity to quarrel over a word or statement that wasn’t juuuuust right (2 Tim. 2:14).

This is watching another to cause them harm and using their harm for our own gain. It is seeking to tear someone else down so that we can build our own platform or keep ours secure.

Like the Pharisees, we justify it by claiming we are following God’s Word and preserving doctrine. We end up straining out the gnats while we swallow camels. This may be acceptable for followers of Caiphas but not servants of Jesus.”

7 Biblical Signs of Relational Heresy While Addressing Perceived Doctrinal Heresy 

Another biblical counselor interacted with Joseph on Twitter/X about how we could tell whether a person’s confrontation of doctrinal error was done in good faith or from sin. Good question.

From the passages we outlined above, we can distill several biblical signs that identify a quarrelsome spirit of relational heresy.

1. Relational Heresy Sign #1: A Pattern of Pride and Condescension Instead of Humility and Self-Confrontation: Proverbs 13:10; Matthew 7:1-5; James 3:13-18.

• Does the person pick apart the views of others, while ignoring any potential errors in their own views?
• Do they present the best of their own views, but only highlight the perceived worst of the views of others?
• Do they fail to take the doctrinal log-size error out of their own eye, while confronting the specks in the eyes of others?
• Are they theologically self-righteous—always claiming to be doctrinally purer than others?
• Do they watch the doctrine of others but fail to watch their own heart toward others?
• Do they mischaracterize others? Do they quote others out of context?

2. Relational Heresy Sign #2: A Pattern of Reckless Words, Harsh Attacks and Rushed Reactions, Instead of a Pattern of Kindness, Gentleness, and Patience: Proverbs 15:18; Proverbs 20:3; Proverbs 29:22; Colossians 3:8; 2 Timothy 2:23-35; James 3:13-18.

• Is the person “snarky” (mocking, sarcastic, derisive, scornful, disdainful)? Bullying? Sneering?
• Do they publicly slander, but refuse to privately engage?
• Do they use reckless words, disparaging language, loaded labels, and mocking images to describe others?
• Do they rush to social media to score a point, rather than taking the time to understand the other person’s point?
• Rather than gently instructing others, do they harshly attack others?
• Do they leave others with only one option: recant; repent?
• Do they use slippery word that mischaracterizes others, then judge others for not responding to their mischaracterization?
• Do they use attacking words and then accuse others of being defensive?

3. Relational Heresy Sign #3: A Pattern of Being Quick to Quarrel (Quarrelsomeness): Proverbs 15:18; Proverbs 20:3; Proverbs 29:22; Ecclesiastes 7:9; Colossians 3:8; 2 Timothy 2:14; 2 Timothy 2:23-25; James 3:13-18.

• Do they jump at the chance to try to catch someone else in error?
• Are they eager to pounce on others?
• Do they display a “gotcha’” attitude?
• Are they a “warrior” or a peacemaker?
• Are they theologically hot-tempered?
• Do they semi-automatically perceive others as enemies, dividing people into the “right” and the “wrong” “camps”?
• Do they thrive on finding enemies?
• Do they calm a quarrel or stoke a fire?
• Do they avoid strife or race into strife?

4. Relational Heresy Sign #4: A Pattern of a Quick Temper and a Lack of Self-Control: Proverbs 15:18; Proverbs 20:3; Proverbs 29:22; Ecclesiastes 7:9; Colossians 3:8; 1 Timothy 3:2-3; Titus 1:7-8; James 3:1-2.

• Do they quickly accuse others without listening carefully to those they are accusing?
• Do they superheat conflicts?
• Do they exacerbate quarrels and perpetuate conflict?
• Do they provoke others?
• Are they easily set-off by the views of others?
• Are their words disrespectful?

5. Relational Heresy Sign #5: A Pattern of Majoring on the Minors: Matthew 23:23-24; 2 Timothy 2:14; 2 Timothy 2:23-25.

• Do they strain at a gnat?
• Do they debate about words?
• Do they pick apart others?
• Do they pounce on every little thing—claiming that everything is a mountain and nothing is a molehill?
• Would they jump on this 5^th sign of relational heresy by saying it is minimizing truth, while claiming they are warriors for truth? 

6. Relational Heresy Sign #6: A Pattern of Stirring Up Conflict: Proverbs 15:18; Proverbs 29:22.

• Do they consistently start verbal sparring matches?
• Does their ministry major on trying to expose the errors in others?
• Are they zealous polemicists who excuse their loveless rough edges?
• Do they invite one-side confrontation instead of inviting mutual conversation and respectful dialogue?
• Are they peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy, impartial peacemakers, or are they conflict-loving, inconsiderate, dominant, unmerciful, partial conflict-starters?

7. Relational Heresy Sign #7: A Pattern of Unhealed Relational Conflict: Proverbs 15:18; Titus 3:9-11.

• Do they escalate disagreements rather than calm situations?
• Do they avoid talking directly with others about their concerns?
• Do they leave relationships shattered?
• Do they give confrontation but refuse to receive even gentle challenge?
• Do they reject mediation?

Nouthetically Confront the Relational Heretic 

What does the Bible say we should do in order to minister His love and truth to the relational heretic? Paul insists that we nouthetically confront them. He commands us to warn (nouthesian) the argumentative (factious, divisive, contentious) person who engages in foolish controversies and quarrels. Paul even commands us to separate from the unrepentant divisive person, who he calls “warped, sinful, and self-condemned.”

• • Titus 3:9-11: “But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.”

Taking the Relational Heresy Log Out of Our Own Eye 

Of course, in the spirit of this post, and more importantly, in submission to God’s Spirit and God’s Word, each of us needs to ask ourselves,

“As I look at this list of biblical signs of relational heresy, and as I examine my own heart, are their relational heresies that I need to confess?”

Endnote

[i]A Scriptural Sampler of the Greatest Biblical Command: Love/Orthopraxy

• Matthew 22:35-40: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
• Matthew 23:23-24: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices—mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.”
• Mark 12:28-31: “One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, ‘Of all the commandments, which is the most important?’ ‘The most important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.’”
• John 13:34-35: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
• Romans 13:8-10: “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘You shall not murder,’ ‘You shall not steal,’ ‘You shall not covet,; and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”
• 1 Corinthians 13:1-3: “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.”
• Galatians 5:14-15: “For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”
• Ephesians 4:15: “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
• Colossians 3:14: “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
• 1 Timothy 1:5: “The goal of this command is love, which comes from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.”
• James 2:8: “If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing right.”
• 1 Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
• 1 John 4:7-8: “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
• 1 John 4:20-21: “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.”