“Untethered Empathy”
Recently I’ve seen some biblical counselors assert (without documentation) that “the sin of empathy”/“untethered empathy” is a root cause of current problems in our biblical counseling world. They allege that empathy is causing counselors to turn to pragmatic secular methods rather than clinging to scriptural truth. Untethered empathy, they claim, is behind the failure of some biblical counselors to guard the gates against the onslaught of secular psychology.
Rather than responding emotionally to this allegation, let’s logically and theologically digest and assess this claim.
The (Supposed) Sin of Empathy
The counselors making these accusations seem to be developing their assertions based upon the writings of Joe Rigney about “the sin of empathy.”
- You can read Rigney’s book here: The Sin of Empathy.
- You can read two recent reviews of Rigney’s book here and here.
- You can read my free PDF here: Empathy Is Biblical.
Empathy and Christianity
Wanting to represent others accurately, as near as I can decipher, here is how some biblical counselors seem to be applying Rigney’s thinking:
Empathy can become so untethered from reason/truth that we can’t or won’t discern and stick to true doctrine. We become so emotionally enmeshed with a suffering brother or sister that we become incapable of operating rationally, reasonably, and reliably. In our untethered empathy, we can’t and won’t guard borders or boundaries (presumably biblical boundaries, and not man-made human boundaries). We allow emotion to topple reason and revelation.
Could this happen? Sure.
Is “empathy” the cause? No, not biblical empathy. Biblical empathy engages the whole person in connecting to and with other whole persons—rationally, emotionally, volitionally. See Empathy Is Biblical. Biblical empathy is not the culprit. See: Empathy Is Theological Truth.
Biblically, it is false to assume that one cannot be both emotional and rational simultaneously, that one cannot be both winsome and wise simultaneously, that one can’t be both compassionate and truth-focused simultaneously. It is unbiblical to pose a dichotomy between our God-designed emotionality and our God-designed rationality. See: Emotions: God’s Idea. It is unbiblical to posit a dichotomy between Christlike compassion and biblical wisdom. See: Truth Without Empathy Is Sin (The Sin of Untethered Truth).
Now, if there are biblical counselors who are guilty of being emotional but not rational, winsome but not wise, compassionate but not truth-focused, then I would ask those making such accusations:
“Can you document specific examples where untethered empathy is the culprit that has caused a fellow biblical counselor to allow their emotional connection to a hurting person to topple their biblical integrity—their biblical commitment to Scripture?”
Empathy and Biblical Counseling
Specifically related to biblical counseling, I assume the concern about empathy is conveying something like this:
Some biblical counselors so “over-empathize” with the hurting that they rush to any supposed “cure” that they think will alleviate the hurt—symptom alleviation. This emotional attunement leads a counselor to become less attuned to biblical truth, less logically and theologically-aligned, less vigorous in upholding truth and guarding against secular error. A counselor so attends to the human, earthly, temporal story of hurt that they stop attending to the heavenly, eternal, Divine story of truth/hope/healing. Over-identification with the pain of a counselee leads, supposedly, to under-identification with biblical wisdom about heart issues. So, a counselor, purportedly, fails to address the “real” issues and, instead, focuses on symptom alleviation. The overly-empathized counselor turns to “quick fixes” and, in turn, turns away from the eternal truths of Scripture. “You’re so emotional that you can’t handle the truth!”
Could this happen? Sure.
Is “empathy” the cause? No, not biblical empathy. Biblical empathy engages both the earthly story of hurt (sustaining soul care) and the eternal story of hope (healing soul care). See: We Share God’s Eternal Story Before We Listen to Our Friend’s Earthly Story.
Biblical empathy is truth in love. Biblical empathy says, “it is normal to hurt;” and says, “it is possible to hope.” Biblical empathy “climbs in the casket of suffering” while also inviting the hurting to experience “the empty tomb of resurrection hope.” See: Empathy’s Companion: Encouragement to Hope in Christ Alone.
Biblical empathy is exactly that—biblical. Biblical empathy is compassionate and comprehensive—entering the earthly story of suffering and applying the heavenly/eternal story of Christ’s healing and hope. See: What Is Biblical Empathy?
Biblical empathy does not “settle” for symptom alleviation. However, biblical empathy does not ignore symptoms or diminish relief from pain. Like Jesus, earthly soul care givers weep over the pain of suffering. See: Jesus Empathizes with Your Suffering. Like Jesus, biblical counselors provide immediate relief where possible. See: The Gospels and Traumatic Suffering. See: Jesus: Soul Physician of Embodied Souls. Like Jesus, biblical counselors also always highlight surrender to and comfort from the Father, Son, and Spirit. See: We Fail to Follow the Trinity’s Model of Comforting Care.
Again, if the charge is being made that “untethered empathy” is the secret sin leading to the current (supposed) crisis in our biblical counseling movement, then I would ask those making such accusations:
“Can you document specific examples where untethered empathy is the culprit that has caused a fellow biblical counselor to focus exclusively or primarily on symptom alleviation?”
“Can you document specific examples where untethered empathy is the culprit that has caused a fellow biblical counselor to so attend to the earthly story of suffering that they stopped attending to the heavenly story of truth/hope/healing?”
“Can you document specific examples where untethered empathy is the culprit that has caused a fellow biblical counselor to so over-identify with the pain of a counselee that they under-identify with biblical wisdom about heart issues?”
“Can you document specific examples where untethered empathy is the culprit that has caused a fellow biblical counselor to turn to quick fixes and turn away from the eternal truths of Scripture?”
The Boogeyman Mindset: “When We Disagree, I Create a Boogeyman to Diminish Your Thinking!”
Clearly, there are disagreements in our current biblical counseling world. However, it is disingenuous to create a boogeyman in an attempt to substantiate one’s point. The illogic goes like this:
- “We disagree. I am right. You are wrong.”
- “I will align you with other wrong people—like the untethered empathy crowd—and that will provide further ammunition to support my contention that I am right and you are wrong.”
- “I won’t provide any specific examples. The boogeyman accusation will be sufficient to scare people away from reading what you actual say.”
- “Shh. Don’t tell anyone, but what I’ve just done is use an emotional argument (fear of the boogeyman) to say that it is wrong to use emotional arguments!”
We simply can’t imagine that other biblical counselors who disagree with us could possibly disagree on the basis of their interpretation of the Scriptures and its application to biblical counseling. So what do we do? We create a boogeyman. This boogeyman mindset thinks,
“Since I am 100% positive that I have God’s truth on my side, you must have fallen trap to ungodly, unbiblical, secular thinking.”
With this mindset in place, we then go on a fishing expedition to find the secular thinking we want to align our “opponent” with. We find a boogeyman—maybe it’s “untethered empathy.” Maybe it’s “zombie-infestation.” Maybe it’s being “trauma-informed,” or “clinically-informed,” or “common grace-informed.”
In our minds, there has to be a boogeyman somewhere to blame that explains the other person’s bad theology compared to our perfectly good theology. We simply can’t imagine that our own interpretation and application of Scripture might be wrong. We can’t perceive that there might be something we could learn from a fellow biblical counselor outside our camp who disagrees with us.
The Rest of the Story
Today we’ve been asking, “Is empathy the culprit in our biblical counseling world?” You’ve read my answer: “No.”
There’s another question we need to address,
“Is non-empathy the culprit in our biblical counseling world?”
Stay tuned for Part 2 of this mini-series where I’ll address that question in: The Sin of Untethered Truth: Truth Without Love Is Sin.
I can see why those making the claim of “untethered empathy” in the counseling world do not want to engage with Bob Kellemen. As demonstrated yet again with this blog, Bob is far too biblically-saturated, wisdom-infused, and articulately clear to be messed with. It’s much easier to make drive-by accusations and just not engage. It’s much easier, but quite unbecoming for those who claim to traffic in truth and love.
Bob,
Have you read Rigney’s book? I think he would agree with you whole heartedly. It’s all about the balance of truth and love – a tension that is as old as Jesus. We always can fall one way or another. Rigney is just trying to to get us to see that we MAY have fallen off the horse at points.
Having said this, I do think the sin of empathy has crept into how the biblical counseling movement THINKS and PRACTICES on the issue of domestic abuse. This is an area of the biblical counseling movement that needs a correction and change. I can document this in a private conversation, as it is too long for a blog comment.
Do you have any insider insights or articles, books speaking into this correction?
Yes. I have read Rigney’s book(s) on empathy. And his articles on empathy. And listened to his podcasts/interviews on empathy. I believe he is saying more than “we need to balance truth and love.” I perceive him to have fallen off the balance. More importantly, I perceive that his frequently-shifting definitions of “empathy” are not accurate even to how secular writers use empathy. If he said, “the sin of emeshment” then I would agree. But he is conflating the good concept of empathy with the bad concept of truthless love. I do not know what you mean by the BCM allowing the sin of empathy to creep into the issue of domestic abuse. I personal think, and I have blogged about this quite a bit, that some in the BCM have so over-identified with the ABUSER that they have a difficult time challenging the ABUSER, and they have a difficult time protecting the abuse victim. I suspect that you and I may see this differently… https://rpmministries.org/2024/08/abusive-relationships-misapplying-bible/ and https://rpmministries.org/2022/04/shepherds-please-think-protect-well-please-stop-saying-suffer-well/