A Word from Bob
In this two-part blog series, we’re asking:
“How do we become equipped for individual biblical counseling?”
There’s equipping for marriage counseling and for family counseling, but this series is about becoming competent to counsel another individual. You can read Part 1 here: What to Do After the Hug. I’m developing these posts from my book on equipping in individual counseling: Gospel-Conversations: How to Care Like Christ.
4 Compass Points
Anyone who has read anything I’ve ever written about biblical counseling is familiar with the 4 biblical compass points that I’ve developed from God’s Word and from church history. They are:
Biblical Counseling for Suffering
- Compass Point # 1: Sustaining Empathy—“It’s Normal to Hurt”
- Compass Point # 2: Healing Encouragement—“It’s Possible to Hope”
Biblical Counseling for Sin
- Compass Point #3: Reconciling Exposure—“It’s Horrible to Sin, But Wonderful to Be Forgiven”
- Compass Point #4: Guiding Empowerment—“It’s Supernatural to Mature”
In one blog post, here’s the essence of biblical counseling with individuals using the 4 biblical compass points of sustaining, healing, reconciling, and guiding.
Compass Point # 1: Biblical Sustaining
Competent biblical counselors grow in the art of biblical sustaining.
- We’re able to join with others in their suffering.
- We weep with those who weep; we grieve; we empathize.
- We understand and live out the reality that shared sorrow is endurable sorrow.
- We’re able to listen compassionately to another person’s earthly story of suffering and despair.
I use a rather macabre image to capture the essence of biblical sustaining:
Climbing in the casket.
I developed this picture from 2 Corinthians 1 where Paul says he does not want his brothers and sisters in Christ to be ignorant about the hardships he had suffered. Paul goes on to say:
“We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death” (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).
When Paul despaired of life and felt the sentence of death, he wanted the Corinthians to “climb in his casket,” to identify with what felt like a death sentence.
Another way I attempt to capture the essence of sustaining is with the phrase:
“It’s normal to hurt.”
Biblical counselors who are competent sustainers:
- Communicate to hurting counselees, “It’s normal to be in agony when our fallen, messed up world comes crashing down on you and you hear the doctor say, ‘Your daughter has leukemia.’”
- Together with our counselees, we face the fact that in this fallen world, life is bad.
- We give people permission to grieve—permission to be candid like the psalmists in the lament psalms and like Jesus in Gethsemane.
You’ve just read summaries of some of the wonderful aspects of historical/biblical sustaining care. As important as sustaining is, imagine if we stopped at sustaining as we ministered to hurting people. They’d feel loved, but they would still be left wrestling with doubts about the goodness of God in the badness of life. Worse—we would both be stuck in the casket! That’s why we need to understand the hallmarks of biblical healing.
Compass Point # 2: Biblical Healing
Competent biblical counselors also grow in the art of biblical healing.
- We’re able to journey with sufferers to Christ—we can explore rich theological truths about the goodness, providence, and affectionate sovereignty of God.
- We know the importance of cropping Christ into the picture. When bad things happen to God’s people, Satan attempts to crop Christ out of the picture. He tempts people to conclude, “Life is bad, God is sovereign, so God must be bad too!” We have the privilege of journeying with counselees as we listen together to God’s eternal story of healing hope—cropping Christ back into the picture.
- We move with counselees slowly and patiently to the place where they can say with conviction, “Life is bad, but God is good. He’s good all the time—which Christ demonstrated on the cross.”
To balance the sustaining image of climbing in the casket, I capture the essence of iblical healing with:
Celebrating the empty tomb!
Earlier we read 2 Corinthians 1:8-9a. I purposefully stopped before the end of verse. Paul goes on to say:
“But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead” (2 Cor. 1:9b).
Paul does not remain in the casket because Jesus did not remain in the tomb!
I capture the core of biblical healing using a phrase you’ve read already:
“It’s possible to hope.”
Biblical counselors who are competent in the art of biblical healing, communicate to suffering counselees:
“Even in the midst of all of this horrible suffering, you can grow in your faith. God’s Spirit who is the Encourager en-courages you—places courage within you so that you do not only survive in your suffering. You can actually thrive as you move beyond who you were before your suffering began.”
In the secular approach to grief and loss, the target is “acceptance”—you face the reality of your loss and move on the best you can.
In the biblical approach to suffering, the target is sanctification—comfort from Christ leads to communion with Christ which results in conformity to Christ.
You’ve just read summaries of a few of the characteristics of historical/biblical healing care. But imagine if the first thing you said after a hurting counselee stopped talking was, “God works all things together for good.” Those are healing truths, but they can feel like spiritual platitudes and clichés if they are preached at people.
That’s especially true if we race to say “it’s possible to hope” (healing) before we’ve communicated “it’s normal to hurt” (sustaining). We’d be insisting that our counselee listen to us lecture about God’s story before we listened compassionately to them sharing their story. We’d be decent preachers perhaps, but miserable comforters for sure.
The Bible and church history flesh out the brilliance and fullness of biblical soul care for suffering. It is not either/or: either sustaining or healing, either hurting or hoping, either the casket or the empty tomb, either our earthly story or God’s eternal story.
Soul care for suffering is Romans 8:17-27 where we suffer, groan, grieve, cry out, and admit our weakness and neediness in this broken world. And it is also Romans 28-39 where we realize that God truly does work all things together for good because he is good and where we realize that even in all our suffering, in Christ we are more than conquerors because Christ conquered the grave.
Compass Point # 3: Biblical Reconciling
Competent biblical counselors also grow in the art of biblical reconciling.
- We can expose sin humbly yet firmly—speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15).
- Like the Hebrew Christians, we are aware of the deceitfulness of sin and committed to being sure that no one has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God (Hebrews 3:7-19).
- Like Nathan with David, we have the ability to paint pictures that say, “You are the man! See your sin in all its horrors! It’s horrible to sin.”
- Like the Puritans, we are able, when necessary, to “load the conscience with guilt” so that hard hearts are softened by God’s Spirit of truth.
Biblical reconciling does not stop with the exposure of heart sin, because where sin abounds, grace superabounds (Romans 5:20).
- God calls us to be skillful at exposing grace. We communicate that where sin abounds, grace mega-abounds. We not only communicate that “it’s horrible to sin,” but also convey that “it’s wonderful to be forgiven.”
- We say to counselees, “God is gracious to you, even when you are sinful.”
- We not only load the conscience with guilt; we also lighten the conscience with grace.
The image I use to communicate reconciling is a painting of every Christian as a:
Dispenser of grace.
Grace is God’s medicine of choice for our sin. Grace is God’s prescription for our disgrace.
You’ve just read summaries of a few of the powerful features of historical/biblical reconciling care. The balance of exposing sin and grace is an amazing combination. But if we stopped there, counselees would know they were forgiven, but still leave the counseling room with a battle on their hands—fighting the world, the flesh, and the devil. They’d still leave the room wondering, “The next time I’m tempted to turn to sin, how do I tap into Christ’s resurrection power?” That’s why we need to understand the biblical compass point of guiding.
Compass Point # 4: Biblical Guiding
Competent biblical counselors also grow in the art of biblical guiding.
- We help people discern how God empowers them to put off the old sinful ways and to put on the new ways of the new person in Christ.
- We help people practice biblical spiritual disciplines that connect them with Christ’s resurrection power (Philippians 3:10).
- We assist people in thinking through the implications of their identity in Christ and what Christ has already done for them (the gospel indicatives), and the implications of commands to obey Christ out of gratitude for grace (the gospel imperatives).
- We practice what the Hebrew saints practiced in spurring one another on to love and good deeds on the basis of what Christ has already done (Hebrews 10:19-25).
I’ve used one phrase and one picture to capture the essence of historic/biblical guiding. The phrase:
“It’s supernatural to mature.”
The grace that saves us is also the grace that empowers us to grow. Our growth in grace involves responding to and availing ourselves of Christ’s resurrection power—the same power that raised Christ from the grave is in us (Ephesians 1:15-23; Philippians 3:10).
The picture I use:
Fanning into flame the gift of God.
Our role is not to place power within our counselees. Our role is to stir up and fan into flame the gift of God already in them, just as Paul stirred up the gift of God in Timothy (2 Timothy 1:6-7).
You’ve just read summaries of some of the central marks of historical/biblical guiding care. But what happens in someone’s heart and life if those “put off and put on” messages are sent to a heart that has not repented of sin and is not filled with the wonders of God’s grace? They become legalistic commands that people attempt to obey in their own strength, rather than loving wisdom they joyfully responds to in Christ’s power out of gratitude for Christ’s grace.
We engage in spiritual heart surgery with people, using the Word of God to help them, like the Prodigal Son, to come to their senses, see their sin, and race to Christ’s grace. They owns the message, “it’s horrible to sin, but wonderful to be forgiven.” And we engage in spiritual heart conditioning with counselees, using God’s Word to empower them—like the woman caught in adultery—to go and sin no more. They embrace the truth that “it’s supernatural to mature.”
The Rest of the Story
Join me for Part 3 where I’ll introduce you to 21 biblical counseling skills.
Join the Conversation
Which are you most naturally gifted at: sustaining, healing, reconciling, or guiding?
Which do you think you need to grow the most in: sustaining, healing, reconciling, or guiding?
