Guest Blog by Pastor Aaron Tolson,
Youth Pastor of CROSS-EYED Youth Ministry
Being the father of a three year old daughter has made me quite familiar with the fairy tale classics such as Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Cinderella as well as newer stories of princesses like Arial, Jasmine, and Belle. My daughter has several princess outfits that she wears constantly and a few cd’s of beautiful, flowery music to which she loves to dance. Often she will extend an invitation for me to dance with her, and these are the moments I will treasure forever.
Recently I had the opportunity to address the issue of sexuality with some of the teen girls in our youth ministry. While I am normally more than content to let the female shepherds give these speeches, I sensed the need to add to the discussion a few thoughts from the perspective of a father – and ultimately The Father. Sharing my own experiences with my daughter and wanting to affirm them in their femininity and reinforce their value as precious daughters of The King, I used the story of Cinderella.
While we are all very familiar with the story, perhaps you will come to discover another aspect of application just as I did. That is what I would like to share with you briefly – something beautiful hidden just beyond the obvious and in total contrast to the message usually conveyed from this story (and others like it).
Cinderella was not a common girl. No great fortune. No great future to dream of. Hers was a so-called-life filled with the unreasonable demands that others placed upon her. Each day she awoke was another day to simply exist in a sad and unfair world – a world that included the death of her father and the cruelty of her would-be family. Cinderella should have been treated as a common girl at the very least, yet she was treated as a soul-less slave, without care or concern for her well-being. In fact, she is so miserable that she resorts to carrying on conversations with animals – birds and mice in particular.
At the same time in the same kingdom was the prince. A young man whose parents were intent on continuing their royal lineage through his marriage to… well, whoever! It didn’t really matter to them. And so we have the arrangement of a magnificent ball to which all the single ladies in the kingdom were invited to attend. (Parents trying to get life out of their children’s lives – how archaic) Of course, with the help of her friends and a Fairy Godmother, Cinderella finally makes it to the ball, they fall in love, and then she dashes away into the night just before the final stroke of midnight.
The next day it is as if Cinderella has become a new person – hope, joy, and yes – love have found their way into her heart. The focus is (of course) on the prince and the moments they shared together. As an observer to the story, it is our own desire for a happy ending that leads us to root for squire and Cinderella to finally connect – culminating in the most successful glass slipper fitting ever recorded in history! We cheer as Cinderella marries the Prince and becomes the Princess to live happily ever after. The End. (Married folks know that really they have just begun and would love to see the book that continues to follow the happy couple into the victories and defeats associated with marriage… but I digress.)
What I found interesting about this story is that Cinderella’s new identity – becoming the Princess – is dependent upon marrying the Prince. It is implied that the Prince is the one who makes her royalty, when in fact that is hardly the truth! Consider that social classes and standing were a really big deal particularly during this period of history. Those of nobility did not associate themselves with lower class commoners, much less those who were the hired hands or slaves of the common folk. It was one thing for royalty to marry royalty or nobility, but a totally different matter to marry a slave girl.
So while it appears that the love of the Prince is what changes Cinderella’s identity from “slave” to that of Princess, the reality is that he had little to do with it at all. The reality is that unless the King chose to welcome her into the family she could be denied that title and still treated as worthless.
It is interesting to me to see how much focus young ladies put on finding the right “prince” assuming that he has the ability to rescue them from their perceptions of self and bestow upon them a new identity – perhaps one that is more appealing, more beautiful, more lovable. The truth is that only The King can make the girl a princess. Only The King can grant a new identity. Only because The King welcomes her into the family does she lose the old identity and gain a new one.
Young ladies – you’ve missed the point of the story… stop dreaming about the prince. Go to the King.
