The Anatomy of Anxiety

Part 25: A Safe Place to Hit Rock Bottom

Note: For previous posts in this blog mini-series, visit: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, and 24.

Big Idea: Does worry, doubt, or fear get the best of you sometimes? Do you wonder where anxiety comes from and how to defeat it in your life and the lives of those you love? Then we need a biblical anatomy of anxiety. We need God’s prescription for victory over anxiety.

The Safest Place on Earth?

When we struggle with issues like anxiety and depression, unfortunately, the church is often one of the least safe places on the planet. Is the church a safe place to hit rock bottom, or is it the place we get stoned by rocks?

When someone comes to us anxious or depressed, do we respond more like the loving, accepting Father or the judgmental older brother (see Luke 15:11-32)? Are we the good Samaritan, crossing over to get bloody, or are we the self-righteous Pharisee staying as far away as possible from life’s messes (see Luke 10:25-37). Are we asking, “Who sinned?” or are we praying, “How can we help bring healing?” (see John 9:1-12).

Spiritual Conversations

There are many ways to help bring healing. One way is to learn the art of “spiritual conversations.” In my book Spiritual Friends, I call these “trialogues.” In a monologue, I talk at you. In a dialogue, we talk to each other. In a trialogue, together we invite a Third Party to join our conversation—Jesus. Every interaction between Christian friends should include at least three people: you, your friend, and the ultimate Spiritual Friend—Christ—who we invite in through His Word and His Spirit.

Sustaining Spiritual Conversations: Romans 12:15

Sustaining spiritual conversations seek to empathize with another person’s hurts and struggles. They seek to communicate, “It’s normal to hurt.” And, “It’s frightening to experience anxiety.” They “climb in the casket” of anxiety, for instance, that feels like death warmed over. They weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15). They face the fact that we live in a fallen world and it often falls on us.

Ponder just a few sample sustaining spiritual conversations. The idea is not to repeat these in a rote, wooden way. In fact, don’t repeat them at all. Use these samplers to create from your own caring heart person-specific interactions that communicate that you care and accept your friend exactly where she/he is.

*“I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can see and feel your stress and fear.”

*“What do you fear the most in this situation? What’s the worst case scenario? What if that happened?”

*“When are your worries the most overwhelming? When are they the least taxing?”

*“What are these feelings of anxiety like for you? Please help me to understand, the best anyone could, what you’re feeling right now.”

*“Specifically, what are the situations and circumstances that you’re worried and anxious about?”

*“When else have you experienced feelings similar to this? How did you respond? What did you learn about God and yourself in that situation? What would you repeat and what would you change?”

*“If you knew that God would say ‘Yes,’ to your prayer about this situation, what would you be praying?”

*“What has been robbed from your life due to these fears and stresses?”

*“What do you wish were happening instead of what you’re experiencing now?”

*“Have you been able to share your heart with God? What have you said? What are you sensing from God?”

*“What might God be up to in all of this?”

*“How is your battle with anxiety influencing your relationship to Christ?”

*“What do you think the Bible says about anxiety, worry, and fear?”

*“What Scriptures could we look at that illustrate how God’s people have talked to God when they felt fear, worry, and anxiety?”

*“If you were to write your own Psalm 27, 31, 46, 55, 91, 92, 109, or 116, related to your fears, how would it sound? What would you write?

*“What Scriptures might you turn to in order to discover God’s perspective on this?”

*“What passages have you found helpful in gaining a new perspective on this? To find strength and courage and peace as you go through this?”

*“How does your faith in Christ fit into your feelings and thoughts?”

*“How could your image of Christ impact your current feelings and prompt peace?”

Keeping It Real

1. Are you a safe person? Do people feel safe hitting rock bottom with you?

2. Who has been a safe spiritual friend for you? Who enters into spiritual conversations with you that communicated, “It’s normal to hurt.”

3. Of the sample sustaining spiritual conversations, which ones would you want spoken to you? What additional samples would you add when speaking to a friend struggling against anxiety?

The Rest of the Story

In our next post we move from the casket to the empty tomb. We explore together healing spiritual conversations that communicate, “It’s possible to hope.” And, “It’s possible to experience peace even when you feel worried.”

Join the Conversation

How can we make our churches safe places to hit rock bottom?

Spiritual Friends