Red Pen or Yellow Highlighter?
When you’re reading something from someone “outside your group,” are you a “red pen” person, or are you a “yellow highlighter” person?
A “red pen” person is like the teacher who gets out their red pen to mark up all the mistakes, errors, problems, and wrong ideas a student has.
A “yellow highlighter” person is like the learner who gets out their yellow highlighter to emphasize all the good points, novel ideas, wise thoughts, and important insights of another person’s perspective.
Our Tendency: “Yes, but.” Or, “Oh, no!” Or, “Hmm, interesting…”
Our tendency when reading or listening to someone from “outside our camp,” is to approach what they say through a critical, corrective, confrontative, or combative lens.
Sometimes our mindset is, “This person is the enemy. They are wrong. They need my corrective wisdom.”
Often our mindset is not even, “Yes, but…” Because a “yes-but” mindset at least stops long enough to discern the “yes”—to see something positive to emphasize with my yellow highlighter.
No. Our approach is often, “Oh, no!” Or, “No way!” Perceiving the person as “the enemy outside our camp,” we perceive that our only role is “truth-teller.” We see our singular calling as “error-pointer-outer.”
We reflexively look for the wrong to combat, rather than humbly pondering a new perspective to at least consider.
We rarely approach someone we disagree with from the humble attitude of, “Hmm, interesting… I never thought of it like that…”
Beginning and Ending with Humility: The Biblical Counseling Coalition Confessional Statement
I was reflecting on this recently as I re-read the Biblical Counseling Coalition’s Confessional Statement. The Confessional Statement was crafted in 2010 as part of the pre-launch of the Biblical Counseling Coalition. Over three dozen leading biblical counselors—women and men from around the world and from many leading biblical counseling organizations, institutions, and churches—worked together for 9 months, producing 10 drafts of what became the BCC’s Confessional Statement.
As I re-read the statement recently, I was struck by how it begins and ends with a confession of humility.
Beginning with Humility
In the Introduction to the BCC’s Confessional Statement, we read:
“We confess that we have not arrived. We comfort and counsel others only as we continue to receive ongoing comfort and counsel from Christ and the Body of Christ (2 Corinthians 1:3-11). We admit that we struggle to apply consistently all that we believe. We who counsel live in process, just like those we counsel, so we want to learn and grow in the wisdom and mercies of Christ.”
What if we biblical counselors read something from someone from a different biblical counseling organization and we started with the mindset, “I confess that I have not arrived”?
What if we biblical counselors listened to a presentation from someone outside the “biblical counseling camp or community,” with the perspective that, “I want to learn and grow in the wisdom and mercies of Christ”?
What if we heard something from someone outside our camp, and our attitude was, “I want to continue to receive ongoing counsel from others in the Body of Christ”?
What if, rather than get out our red pen and used it against others, we got out our red pen and admitted “that I struggle to apply consistently all that I say I believe”?
Ending with Humility
In the 12th and final item of the BCC’s Confessional Statement, we read:
“We seek to engage the broad spectrum of counseling models and approaches. We want to affirm what is biblical and wise…. When interacting with people with whom we differ, we want to communicate in ways that are respectful, firm, gracious, fair-minded, and clear…. We want to listen well to those who disagree with us, and learn from their critiques….”
Hmm… “Affirming what is biblical and wise” when engaging the broad spectrum of counseling models and approaches. That sounds like, “Hmm, interesting. I never thought of it like that before…” It sounds like using a yellow highlighter.
When interacting with people with whom we differ, do we listen and communicate in a way that is respectful, gracious, and fair-minded? If they read what we said about them, would they even recognize it as what they believe? When we summarize what they believe, is our summary respectful, gracious, fair-minded—a humble, accurate representation?
When interacting with someone with whom we disagree, do we listen well? Do we seek to humbly learn from their critiques? Do we use our yellow highlighter to emphasize their points from which we can learn…?
Picture Your BC “Hero”
Picture someone in the biblical counseling movement that you deeply respect. For some, it might be David Powlison. For others, it may be Jay Adams. Whoever it is for you, picture yourself reading a document your “BC hero” wrote.
As you read, which do you get out? Do you whip out your red pen to correct your hero?
Or, do you pull out your yellow highlighter to emphasize and remind yourself of insightful points?
What if, before we pulled out the red corrective pen as we read those “outside our camp,” we first humbly used our yellow highlighter?
Yes, Be a Humble Berean
Of course, all of us need to be like the Bereans of Acts 17 who used the Scriptures to check out even what Paul said to them. Our only ultimate “Hero” is Christ.
So, even reading Powlison or Adams, we could eventually put down our yellow highlighter and pick up our red pen—hopefully very humbly. For the heart motivation of the Bereans was humility—their humble recognition that they did not have all the answers. Christ alone has all the answers.
This post does not deny the calling to be truth-perceivers and truth-tellers.
However, most of us in our biblical counseling world don’t need more reminders to confront all the errors we perceive in others.
Most of us as biblical counselors need reminders to humbly listen well to those who disagree with us—and learn from their critiques.
Most of us need to use the red pen on our own perspectives.
Our tendency is to treat ourselves with the yellow highlighter—emphasizing all the ways we think we have cornered the market on truth.
What if we turned our world upside down by using the yellow highlighter to listen well to those we disagree with as we humbly learn from their critiques?
That would be humility as biblical counselors.
Join the Conversation
Which am I? Which are you?
- A yellow highlighter person? Or, a red pen person?
- A humble learner? Or, the person who has cornered the market on all truth?
As we read and listen to those “outside our in group,” how would our relationships be different if we began and ended with humility—like the Biblical Counseling Coalition Confessional Statement does?
