A Word from Shirley and Bob: Two Years Ago Today 

It was June 4, 2021—two years ago today. It’s not too dramatic to say that our lives changed forever that day.

On this day in 2021, Shirley suffered what the ER neurologist called “a significant hemorrhagic stroke.”

In the ER, we were told that “the next 72 hours are critical—for Shirley’s survival.” And that, “unless the bleeding stops, Shirley will need to be transferred to another hospital for brain surgery.”

Our adult son (Josh) and our adult daughter (Marie) were in the hospital lobby. They weren’t allowed into the ER because this was still the days of COVID-19. Bob was only allowed in because of the seriousness of Shirley’s prognosis.

It Started Out a Very Different Day…

It started out as such a fun day, a day that was an extension of a great vacation. We had spent a week in late May 2021 on the Gulf Coast of Florida, celebrating our 40^th wedding anniversary. (We had hoped to go to Hawaii for our 40^th, but…COVID-19.) Then, back home in Auburn, Washington, we were enjoying a few more days of “Stay-cation.”

On Friday, June 4, 2021, we awoke early to drive to Maple Valley, Washington. We were paying for nine new custom interior doors for our house. Then we went through the drive-through at Dairy Queen to order a picnic lunch and, of course, dessert! Since this was still during Covid-19, DQ dining-in was closed.

We took our little lunch (and dessert—chocolate, of course) to Lake Wilderness Park in Maple Valley for a picnic in the sun. (Oh, the day before, we had biked in the sun around Auburn. Stay-cations are fun!)

We enjoyed our lunch, our time together, and we walked hand-in-hand around the park. Yep, after 40 years we were still walking hand-in-hand.

We had no idea what was coming in a few short hours…

Back at Home 

Back home, Stay-cation for Bob meant his lap-top on his lap in the living room, catching up on some work emails, with the TV turned to channel 935—the contemporary Christian music channel. Stay-cation for Shirley meant doing some cleaning in our master bathroom. Yep, we both chose to do a little work during our Stay-cation…

After a little bit of work, Bob thought he heard something. He got up and checked to see if it was coming from outside the front door. As he opened the door, he heard a cry for help from Shirley from upstairs. Racing up the stairs with a racing heart, he found Shirley collapsed on the bathroom floor.

Shirley knew what had happened to her.

“Bob, call 911! I think I’ve had a stroke.”

Shirley’s stroke and her time upstairs calling for help were very traumatic for her.

The next 30 minutes calling 911, waiting for the ambulance, having multiple medical personnel crowd into our bathroom, and racing to Valley Medical Center in Renton, Washington were traumatic for both of us.

But This Is About Today: Stroke Survivor 

Now, two years later, we thank the Lord that Shirley did survive.

We thank the Lord that Shirley can walk. During those first weeks in the ER, ICU, the stroke neurology unit at Valley Medical Center, and four weeks at UW Hospital in Acute Rehab, five different neurologists cautioned us that Shirley might never walk again.

Our gracious heavenly Father has had some different plans.

Recently, we walked a mile together—on our favorite trail—the trail at Green River College that leads to a spectacular view of Mt. Rainier. Shirley’s able to walk a mile now—with a cane, and with Bob holding her hand—still walking hand-in-hand after 42 years.

This picture is of Shirley at the trailhead. Being a cloudy day, you can’t quite see Mt. Rainier in the background, but we know it’s there even when we can’t quite see it.

Shirley continues going regularly to OT and PT, especially working on her left shoulder, arm, hand, and fingers—as Shirley so far has little use of her left arm.

“Stroke-aversary”

Part of Shirley’s stroke recovery as a stroke survivor is a monthly meeting with an online stroke survivors support group. They call days like today “a Stroke-aversary”: the anniversary date of your stroke.

About a month ago, while we were driving to a medical follow-up appointment for Shirley, she shared:

“Bob, on my ‘Stroke-aversary,’ after church, I think I’d like us to go back to Maple Valley, get some DQ, and go to Lake Wilderness Park. I want to celebrate that I am alive and able to walk.”

Bob’s first thought:

“Shirley is so brave. Shirley is the bravest person I know.”

Bob’s second thought:

“I’m not so sure I’m that brave. Going back to the place we were the morning of Shirley’s stroke sounds scary to me. But because Shirley is brave, I can be brave together with her—and with Christ.”

It’s Not Been an Easy Journey: Not Pretending 

Like we said, on Friday, June 4, 2021, around 4:00 PM PST, our lives changed forever.

Shirley will look at our stairs to the second floor of our home and grieve that she can’t bound up those stairs like she used to…

Shirley will think, “I’ll head out to the garage and do some organizing…” and realize she can’t do that these days…

We’ll pass a pickleball court and grieve that we can’t play pickleball the way we used to…

Our three young granddaughters will be over for an afternoon visit, and Shirley will grieve that she can’t be the same Grandma she once was…

“Jesus with Skin On”

If you know Shirley and Bob, then you know we are not people who pretend. We openly grieve. “Jesus wept.” We weep, too.

Shirley, in her kindness and empathy, will often say,

“My stroke happened to both of us, Bob. It changed both of our lives.”

Together, we openly admit that we need Jesus and we need other people. We currently are each talking with a Christian counselor. Shirley sees her biblical counselor via Zoom on Thursday mornings. Bob sees his biblical counselor via Zoom on Tuesday mornings.

Yes, the counselors—Shirley and Bob—see counselors. Our counselors are like “Jesus with skin on” as they comfort and counsel us.

Walking with Jesus 

People see not only our grief, but also our joy and hope and faith and love. Christians and non-Christians, believers and non-believers, they ask us, “How are you able to handle all of us this and stay so hopeful?”

We never tire of saying,

“It’s because of our faith in Christ. We never walk alone.”

A Bible passage that Shirley reflects on a lot is Psalm 63:6-8.

⁶ “On my bed I remember you;
I think of you through the watches of the night.
⁷ Because you are my help,
I sing in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ I cling to you;
your right hand upholds me.”

Picture that. “Your right hand upholds me.” Shirley walks hand-in-hand with Jesus. Shirley clings to Jesus. God is our help. We remember Him, through the watches of the night—when the tears come—and we sing in the shadow of His wings.

We never walk alone.

We walk hand-in-hand together with Jesus.

How Was Our Day at the Park? 

Again, in honesty, our morning at church was emotional. Many of our friends remembered that June 4 was the day of Shirley’s stroke. As they asked us how we were doing, many tears flowed.

We didn’t know what to expect when we were driving to Maple Valley this afternoon. But once inside DQ, our mood changed. No, it wasn’t just the chocolate.

We experienced God-given peace, hope, faith, love, joy.

We experienced the presence of Christ with us.

The featured image at the start of this post is us today at the park. Those smiles are real!

At Lake Wilderness Park, we savored our large deluxe royal chocolate blizzards.

We savored life.

We savored our relationship with each other.

We savored our Savior.