A Recent History Lesson 

In the past two weeks, I’ve crafted four blog posts related to discussions within the biblical counseling community:

1. 3 Biblical Principles to Apply in Response to Heath Lambert’s Confrontation
2. Priests, Zombies, and Prophets, Oh My!: Engaging Publicly with Heath Lambert’s Public Writings
3. Heath, Jay, and Donn…And Mischaracterizing Fellow Biblical Counselors
4. Engaging Publicly with Heath Lambert’s Public Writings: Part 2: Hearing Heath

These posts have been my attempts to respectfully and reasonably engage with Heath Lambert’s first post in his series of posts about what Heath sees as compromise from within the modern biblical counseling movement.

1. (First Post): Priests in the Garden, Zombies in the Wilderness, and Prophets on the Wall: The Current State of the Contemporary Biblical Counseling Movement
2. (Follow-Up Post): A Commentary on Priests, Zombies, and Prophets
3. (Follow-Up Post): Six Crucial Confusions of the New Integrationists

A Multitude of Counselors

Before I decided to craft these posts, I privately sought the wisdom of numerous biblical counseling leaders. In the multitude of counselors, I received a multitude of counsel. I can divide that counsel into three categories.

1. Yes, Please: “Yes, Bob, please address these issues. Another voice speaking into these issues will be helpful. With your long history with the modern biblical counseling movement, your voice will be important to hear.”
2. No, Please: “You likely won’t be heard. Let’s just all humbly seek peace and not respond to Heath.”
3. Please Be Careful; Please Count the Cost: “Bob, history says, that if you publicly speak into these public issues, it could get ugly for you. When other people have sought to do this in similar settings in the past, they have been canceled—some fired, some removed from leadership in BC organizations. Rather than engaging with what you have actually written, your words will be twisted. You will be called divisive. Your character will be attacked. You’ve been known as a bridge-builder and peace-maker, but none of that will matter now. They will imply that you are a trouble-maker and an outsider. You can anticipate a coordinated attack against you.”

After much prayer and consultation, I decided to dip my toe into the conversation. Then I waded in. Then I jumped in head first. I’ve shared why I decided to speak into this.

Seeing with Glued Eyes 

David Powlison often wrote about “seeing with new eyes.” He meant seeing life through the lens of Scripture.

My header is a play on words from David—seeing with glued eyes. If we’re honest, we all tend to have pretty firm opinions that are not easily changed—our eyes can be glued shut to other perspectives.

When someone writes from our perspective, we perceive them with positive eyes—eyes wide shut or glued shut to negative perceptions of their writings and motives. When someone writes from another perspective, we perceive them with negative eyes—eyes wide shut or glued shut to any positive perception of their writings and motives.

People who are “pro-Heath,” or “aligned with Heath,” are seemingly 100% positive about what he has written. People who are “pro-Bob,” or “aligned with Bob,” are seemingly 100% positive about what I have written in response to Heath. People who are “pro-Heath” have been pretty “not-so-positive” about what I have been writing in response to Heath.

Bob Kellemen: “Humble, Gentle, Reasonable, Respectful, Biblical”? 

Read the comments on my blog posts and on social media from people who “align with me” and you’ll see a lot of positives about what I have written, about my tenor and tone. People graciously are saying that as I’ve engaged with Heath, I have been:

• “Humble”
• “Gracious”
• “Respectful”
• “Reasonable”
• “Gentle”
• “Winsome”
• “Biblical”
• “Courageous”
• “Careful”
• “Fair”
• “Comprehensive”
• “Balanced”
• “Christlike” 

Bob Kellemen: “Divisive, So-Called Biblical Counselor, Passive-Aggressive”? 

On the other hand, those who are “Heath-aligned” so far have either been pretty quiet, or they have been, shall we say, “less-than-positive” about my responses.

• At least three have said that my blog posts and social media posts in response to Heath have been “divisive.”
• I’ve been labeled by one person as a “so-called biblical counselor.”
• One person privately said that I was being “passive-aggressive” by being subtle about what I really think about Heath’s writings. On the other hand, another person said I was being “aggressive and overt” in my responses to Heath.
• At least one person has questioned my motives.
• At least one person publicly nouthetically confronted me and told me, “Stop it!” (I couldn’t help but think of the classic Bob Newhart spoof of psychologists, Stop It!)
• Several people “in the know” have told me to expect an upcoming post, perhaps collaboratively written, taking me to task for my response to Heath, calling me divisive, and questioning my motives.

What Does a Biblical Response to Conflicting Feedback Look Like?

Who is one to believe? Who is one to receive? How am I to process such varied and diverse perceptions?

While I’m thankful for people who affirm my writings and my character, I also try to heed Dr. Bob’s Smith counsel to use any critique as an opportunity for progressive sanctification. I seek to prayerfully reflect on feedback and ask the Spirit to speak to my spirit through His Word.

I also think it is wise to “consider the source.” I don’t mean that pejoratively. I mean that realistically. People who are “aligned with me” will likely be quite positive about what I write and who I am. People who are “aligned with Heath” will likely not be quite so positive about my writings and character.

Bob Kellemen: Biblical Counseling Insider or Outsider? 

It may be helpful, especially for those who are neither “Bob-aligned” nor “Heath-aligned,” to know a bit about where I am coming from with all of this.

• What’s my history with the modern biblical counseling movement?
• Am I an outsider or an insider to the modern biblical counseling movement?
• Have I been considered a “member in good standing of the modern biblical counseling movement?”
• Have I been considered a rabble-rouser and trouble-maker or a bridge-builder and peace-maker?
• Who is this Kellemen guy?

1. I was introduced to the modern nouthetic biblical counseling movement before many current biblical counseling leaders were born. Fifty years ago, Pastor Bill Goode taught me and other youth at Grace Baptist Church in Gary, Indiana about this new stuff—“nouthetic counseling.”
2. At the invitation and encouragement of David Powlison, Randy Patten, Steve Viars, and others, I served for six years as the founding Executive Director of the Biblical Counseling Coalition.
3. In 2010, when we were discussing whether I would take on the role as BCC ED, David Powlison spoke up—not just to me, but in the presence of the initial Board of Directors of the Biblical Counseling Coalition. David shared, “Bob, I believe you are the exact right choice. You’re our litmus test. If people can’t see you as a biblical counselor, then they wouldn’t be a fit in the Biblical Counseling Coalition.”
4. David Powlison and I facilitated three dozen biblical counseling leaders in the development of the Biblical Counseling Coalition Confessional Statement. I thoroughly enjoyed that ten-month privileges of working shoulder-to-shoulder with David.
5. At the invitation of Randy Patten, I spoke numerous times at the annual NANC Conference.
6. At the invitation of Heath Lambert, I spoke numerous times at the annual NANC/ACBC Conference.
7. For the past twenty years, I’ve spoken locally, regionally, nationally, and internationally not only at NANC/ACBC conferences and seminars, but also at CCEF events, Faith Biblical Counseling events, ABC events, IBCD events, CBCC (Canadian Biblical Counseling Coalition) events, BCC events, been the keynote speaker at Julie Ganschow’s Reigning Grace conference, spoken at biblical counseling events in Germany, Brazil, Romania, and Canada.
8. I was the General Editor overseeing three collaboratively-written books by dozens of biblical counseling leaders, including dozens of NANC/ACBC leaders, NANC/ACBC Certified Members, NANC/ACBC Fellows, NANC/ACBC Board of Directors, and NANC/ACBC Academy Members.
9. My books have been endorsed (or Forewords written for) at least 72 times by NANC/ACBC Academy Members, NANC/ACBC Fellows, NANC/ACBC Board of Directors, and NANC/ACBC Certified Members, such as:

• Ernie Baker (6 times)
• Steve Viars (6 times)
• Jim Newheiser (5 times)
• Julie Ganschow (4 times)
• Brad Bigney (4 times)
• John Street (3 times)
• Randy Patten (3 times)
• Howard Eyrich (3 times)
• Paul Tautges (3 times)
• Jeremy Pierre (3 times)
• Paul Tripp (2 times)
• Ben Marshall (2 times)
• Andrew Rogers (2 times)
• Wayne Vanderwier (2 times)
• Alexandre Sascha Mendes (2 times)
• Amy Baker (2 times)
• Nicolas Ellen (2 times)
• Pat Quinn (2 times)
• David Powlison (1 time)
• Wayne Mack (1 time)
• Bob Somerville (1 time)
• Ron Allchin (1 time)
• Charles Hodges (1 time)
• Kevin Carson (1 time)
• Kevin Hurt (1 time)
• Mark Shaw (1 time)
• Shannon McCoy (1 time)
• Tom Zempel (1 time)
• Jeff Ballard (1 time)
• Brent Aucoin (1 time)
• Lilly Park (1 time)
• Cutis Solomon (1 time)
• Michael Leister (1 time)
• Ken Long (1 time)

10. My books have been endorsed (or Forewords written for) at least 49 times by other biblical counseling leaders, such as:

• Ed Welch (5 times)
• Robert Cheong (5 times)
• Elyse Fitzpatrick (5 times)
• Garrett Higbee (5 times)
• Jonathan Holmes (5 times)
• Mike Emlet (3 times)
• Deepak Reju (3 times)
• Betty-Anne Van Rees (3 times)
• Jeremy Lelek (3 times)
• Charles Ware (2 times)
• Sam Williams (2 times)
• Jeff Forrey (2 times)
• John Henderson (1 time)
• Lee Lewis (1 time)
• Jason Kovacs (1 time)
• Eliza Huie (1 time)
• David Dunham (1 time)
• Brad Hambrick (1 time)

11. My books have been endorsed (or Forewords written for) at least 19 times by evangelical Christian leaders, such as:

• Steve DeWitt (4 times)
• Al Mohler (2 times)
• Daniel Akin (2 times)
• D. Greear (2 times)
• Timothy Paul Jones (1 time)
• Mark Vroegop (1 time)
• Tim Challies (1 time)
• Joni Eareckson Tada (1 time)
• Brian Croft (1 time)
• Jonathan Dodson (1 time)
• Nancy Leigh DeMoss (1 time)
• Alistair Begg (1 time)
• Matt Chandler (1 time)

Who Changed? 

Perhaps I have changed?

Perhaps since these endorsements, since these invitations to speak at NANC/ACBC, since my leadership in the modern biblical counseling movement—I have changed? Perhaps I am less biblical and perhaps I am less Christlike?

I’d like to think that I am growing in progressive sanctification and that therefore my biblical counseling is more biblical and I am slowly becoming more Christlike. But perhaps I am mistaken, self-deceived.

Perhaps some of those who endorsed my works, invited me to speak, and wrote chapters under my direction have changed?

Perhaps they are “further to the right” or “more conservative” or “more fundamentalist” (I don’t mean that as a negative, just as a descriptor) than they were in the past?

What’s Next? 

In one of Heath’s response podcasts, he claimed,

“Even now, just as I warned in my essay, they (‘those who are guilty of compromise’) are working to make sure I stay quiet.”

I know the feeling, Heath. The temptation I face is to “make sure I stay quiet.” I mean, who enjoys character accusations for responding to another brother in Christ? I don’t.

Should anyone (Heath or Bob) be intimidated into silence by coordinated efforts that subtly or overtly say, “Stop it”?

I would love to step out of these controversial discussions initiated by Heath Lambert—to which I chose to respond.

I would love to do what I love doing most—providing pro bono counseling to pastors, counselors, missionaries, and educators, writing books, writing blog posts that equip God’s people, providing pro bono consulting, providing pro bono supervision, etc. I am continuing to do all of this ministry.

But time will tell what comes next from others. Then time, prayer, and consultation with others, will tell whether I will forever step out of these discussions, or whether I will reluctantly step back in.

Please Pray 

I would appreciate your prayers. Honestly, I would appreciate your prayers for me—for wisdom and maturity. I would appreciate your prayers for others in this conversation—for wisdom and maturity.

May we all “see with new eyes” and not with “glued eyes.”