A Word from Bob
This is a shortened version of my post, The Beauty of Our Emotions: Biblical Counseling for Fear. That post provides the theological foundation for todays practical post.
“4S” Biblical Counseling for Saints, Suffering, Sin, and Sanctification
We need a theologically-saturated counseling mindset that leads to comprehensive spiritual conversations that address saints who face suffering and who battle against sin on their sanctification journey.
Here are some sample spiritual conversations we might have with a fellow believer who is experiencing fear…
Suffering-Focused Spiritual Conversations about Fear
- “I’m sorry you’re going through these fears. I want to hear what these fears are like for you…”
- “Tell me about these feelings of fear that you’re experiencing. What is the history of these fears? When did they begin? When are they worse? When do they seem to lessen?”
- “Have there been any fearful, scary, anxiety-producing, traumatic things you have gone through lately…or in the past…that might help us understand something of the origin of these fears…?”
- “If I could be inside your soul during these intense bouts of fear, what would I feel? Think? Do?”
- “Where does God seem to be in these fears? How are you relating to God in the midst of these fears?”
- “What is it like for you to lament these fears to God? Are there some Psalms or other biblical passages that capture what your fears are like for you?”
Saint-Focused Spiritual Conversations about Fear
- “David in the Psalms shows that our fear and our faith co-exist. Let’s look at some of those Psalms, and let’s consider what a believer in Christ does with their fears…”
- “The apostle Paul battled all sorts of fears. Could we take a look at some of his fears, anxieties, worries, concerns as he expressed them in the Bible, and see how his experience might relate to yours?”
- “Jesus in the Garden experienced a full gambit of human emotions. Let’s take a look at the Gethsemane passages and explore how Christ, your sympathetic High Priest, relates to you and your fears.”
- “In Christ, you are the Father’s beloved child. He speaks to you words of comfort in your fears, like those he spoke to Abram in Genesis 15:1. ‘Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.’ The Father does not just shield you; He is your shield. The Father does not simply give you a reward; He is your reward in His presence with you. How does this comforting scriptural truth impact you in the midst of your fears?”
- “As a believer, you are not only forgiven; you are also redeemed—you are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:31-39). What might it look like for you to respond to your fears with Christ’s resurrection power (Philippians 3:10) as a victor in Christ (Romans 8:31-39)?”
- “Could we explore what the Bible says about the beauty of our emotions…? Maybe we could start with Psalm 139…”
- “As a Christian, how can we glorify God with our emotions? Let’s look again at the emotional life of Christ and see how He glorified His Father with His emotions…”
- “As a believer, what is your biblical understanding of what God wants you to do when you are feeling fear? Could we look together at an Old Testament Psalm about fear and faith? Could we look together at a New Testament passage about fear and faith?”
- “Myself, and many other people, often find that shame and condemnation are like close cousins to fear. We feel fear, then Satan swoops in with his condemning words of shame. Have you experienced any of that? If so, could we talk about what it is like to remind ourselves of who we are in Christ and to Christ? Could we explore what the Bible says about God’s compassionate, fatherly attitude to His children when they are fearful…?”
- “As you picture God as the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, what are your prayers to your Father about your fears?”
Sin-Fighting-Focused Spiritual Conversations about Fear
- “We’ve already seen that fear is our God-given capacity to discern danger and to respond wisely (Proverbs 23:3). We also know that we can respond to our fears with faith or without faith; with dependence on God or with self-sufficiency. I’ve already shared some ways that I, at times, have turned in my fears to sinful responses. Are you ready to explore any ways that you might be responding to your normal fears in less than Christlike ways…?”
- “Let’s look at Psalm 34 together. It’s a powerful, personal picture of David’s fears. Let’s explore godly responses to fear and ungodly responses to fear in this Psalm…”
- “Ed Welch, in his article and his booklet, Fear Is Not Sin, lists several ways that sin can become entangled with our fears. Between now and next week, take a look at that section, and ask God to reveal any ways that sin might be creeping into your life as you face your fears…”
- “Ed Welch explains that, ‘Fear and what we do with our fear are two different things. Fear is natural; our responses to fear can be more complicated, but they can be examined with one simple question: Did I turn toward the Lord or not?’ How might you apply this spiritual diagnostic question to your life?”
- “We talked about some possible sinful responses to fear. We know that God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins. What would it look like and sound like for you to confess your sinful responses to the Lord? What will it be like for you to receive His forgiveness?”
Sanctification-Focused Spiritual Conversations about Fear
- “We talked about some possible sinful responses to fear. How can you apply His Word through His power to put off those responses and to put on new, Christlike responses…? What specific biblical passages and theological principles can you be applying to your life…?”
- “I love your phrase, ‘whole-person devotions,’ where you are turning to God in your fears with your whole body, soul, spirit, mind, brain, will, thoughts, emotions…every part of you. Tell me more about this… And…how can this become a part of your entire day—surrendering all of you to Christ moment by moment, especially as fears seem to sweep over you…”
- “Let’s work on a biblical fear-response plan that is specific to you—a whole-person fear response plan based on the many scriptural passages we’ve looked at together…”
- “We’ve looked at David, at Paul, at Jesus, and how they handled life in this fearful, evil, dangerous, uncertain world. What can you apply to your life from David’s life? From Paul’s? From the emotional life of Christ?”
- “In 1 Peter 5:7, Peter tells us that we will cast our cares on the Lord when we believe that He cares for us. What passages can you meditate on and apply in order to increase your faith in God’s care for you?”
- “God’s Word provides scores, if not 100s, of promises about His presence in our fears. Over the next week, select at least a dozen of those passages, and then let’s start talking about meditating on and putting those passages into practice…”
The Rest of the Story
For over 1,000 sample spiritual conversations for biblical counseling, see, Gospel Conversations: How to Care Like Christ.
