How to Find Hope When You’re Hurting
Post 7: Joining the Grieving Journey
How do we help others to move from denial to candor?
There are many biblically effective ways to empower people to move through the grieving process. We’ll focus on one category of interventions: trialogues.
Trialogues
In a monologue, I speak to you and/or at you. In a dialogue, we converse back and forth. In a trialogue, a third Party joins us in our conversation—God. Every biblical counseling session must have this three-way communication: you and your counselees listen to God, exploring how His Word relates to their situation.
There are two broad types of trialogues: scriptural explorations and spiritual conversations.
Scriptural explorations explore specific, applicable passages to empower people to relevantly relate God’s Word to their struggles.
Spiritual conversations ponder broad Biblical principles to empower people to face life face-to-face with God.
Samplers
Consider some sample biblical trialogues to assist people to move toward biblical candor.
“I’m so sorry this has happened to you.”
“I can only begin to imagine what you might be feeling.”
“If it were me, I think I might be feeling __________. How does that relate to how you’re feeling?”
“What is your loss like for you?”
“What’s it like to go through all of this?”
“What has been robbed from your life due to this? What is missing?”
“What are you grieving over the most?”
“Have you ever faced anything like this before? How did you feel then?”
“What do you think the Bible teaches about feeling and expressing anger in a situation like yours?”
“Do you find examples in the Bible of believers facing suffering and struggling with depression?”
“David experienced something similar. Stalked by Saul, his life was on the line. He faced the valley of the shadow of death. Could we look at his situation and his response (Psalm 23)?”
“Tamar experienced something like this. Her half-brother betrayed her sexually. Could we look at her situation and her response (2 Samuel 13)?”
“Let’s ponder how 1 Thessalonians 4:13 (Paul’s teaching on candor) might relate to your grieving.”
“Could we explore what applications 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 (Paul’s candor) might have to your loss?”
How Do We Move from Denial to Candor?
But how do we move from denial to candor?
Based upon this first week of blog posts, how would you answer that?
Based upon your own life experience, how have you become brutally honest with yourself in the grieving journey?
Tomorrow we’ll explore further personal implications on the grieving journey.
