How Do We Relate?

What were relationships like in the culture of the Roman Empire when the New Testament was written? Relationships were decidedly one-sided.

Persons with power ruled with an iron hand over those who were powerless.

“You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant. And whoever wants to be first must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give his life as a ransom for many” (Mt. 20:25-28).

Persons with money abused the poor.

“Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into curt? Are they not the ones who are slandering the noble name of him to whom you belong?” (James 2:6b-7).

Fathers dominated, exasperated, embittered, and discouraged their children with harsh, dictatorial mistreatment (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21).

Husbands were inconsiderate of their wives, disrespectful, unloving, and acted in self-centered ways (1 P. 3:7; Eph. 5:25-33).

To use a technical term, relationships were perceived to be hierarchical. People ranked one another in a tiered system. The culture of the day classified and categorized everyone from top to bottom. If you were graded and ordered as below someone else, you had to give total allegiance and due deference. Those ranked on top demanded and enjoyed every privilege that rank allowed. They gave those lower on the totem pole no respect because the worldly culture of the day said none was deserved.

Instead

I love the Bible. I love statements like “but God.” And I love “instead” statements. We read one earlier. “Instead whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant (Mt. 20:26).

Peter picks up this same counter-cultural concept of servanthood when talking about elders and shepherds.

“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock” (1 Pt. 5:2-4).

James emphasizes the same counter-cultural concept of servant relationships when talking about the rich and the poor.

“Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, ‘Here’s a good seat for you,’ but say to the poor man, ‘You stand there’ or ‘Sit on the floor by my feet,’ 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my dear brothers: Has not God chosen those who are poor in the eyes of the world to be rich in faith and to inherit the kingdom he promised those who love him? But you have insulted the poor” (James. 2:2-6).

Paul, in addressing fathers and husbands exhorts them to live counter-cultural lives of Christ-like sacrificial, agape love for their children and wives.

Hierarchical or Sacrificial?

How do we relate? Do we relate in a hierarchical way or a sacrificial manner? Do we live counter-cultural to our self-centered world, or do we allow our minds to be conformed to our hierarchical world?

When church leaders demand deference and respect rather than demanding of themselves sacrificial relationships, they are modeling the world and not Christ.

When those who have lord it over those who have not, they are modeling the world and not Christ.

When fathers and husbands exasperate their children and dominate their wives, they are modeling the world and not Christ.

If anyone could have claimed the right to hierarchical relationships it would have been Christ Jesus, the Lord of all. Instead…

“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death—even death on a cross!” (Phil. 2:6-8).

How does this relate to us?

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 2:3-5).

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How do we relate: hierarchical sacrificial?