Biblical Counseling and Mature Maleness

God designed us as male or female—not only in our body, but also in the core of our soul. All that we do, we do out of a soul that is either male or female. That includes our counseling of others. Thus, we minister to others most effectively when we counsel from our unique maleness or femaleness.

Today’s post considers what it looks like for a male to counsel from his maleness. The previous post in this two-part mini-series pondered what it looks like for a female to counsel from her femaleness.

Counseling/Ministering Out of Your Mature Masculine Soul

• Potent Involvement

Men are designed to be givers of strength, to be guiding shepherds. Male counselors are confident that their heavenly Father can direct them to navigate the rough, uncharted waters of the counseling relationship. They are like the rudder of a ship. They confront confusion with courage, not cowardice. The impotent male counselor retreats from or abdicates his role of shepherd by minimizing, being lifeless, dead, or by remaining on the surface.

• Risk-Taking Involvement

Godly men are open and vulnerable enough to risk exposure. They will risk being hated, disliked, or hurt if that is what it takes to promote maturity in a counselee. Male counselors counsel with sacrifice and courage.

• Protective Involvement

Men care. Men are like the Good Samaritan whose level of involvement was radically abnormal compared to his culture. Our culture expects men to be “Macho.” Real men bandage and heal bloody relational wounds with a caring touch. Real men do not have to domineer and lord it over counselees with a harsh, authoritative distance.

• Intimate Involvement

It is so easy and safe to hide behind our role as counselor. We can wear masks of superiority or expertise. Mature male counselors remove those masks and open their souls to relate deeply.

• Considerate Involvement

Empathy is not the exclusive domain of femininity. Men can have a knowledgeable and personal understanding of the uniqueness of their counselee.

• Nourishing Involvement

Men are called to be good shepherds who strongly care for others. Males are not called to be poisonous in their words, angry, aggressively attacking, defensive, nor inhumane. Male counselors build others up through nurture and admonition.

• Patient Involvement

The mature male is capable of forbearance. Male counselors are longsuffering in their approach to the growth of their counselees. They are not rigid, inflexible, or demanding, nor do they live by the letter of the law. They are not quarrelsome or irritable. Male counselors are like the father of the Prodigal—patiently but courageously waiting for restoration.

Join the Conversation

What are your reflections on these characteristics of male counselors? What characteristics would you suggest for maleness in counseling?