Our False Theology of Emotions 

I’ve found this true about me and my emotions. I’ve found this true with those I counsel and their emotions. Is it true for you, also? Is this how you tend to think about emotions and Christianity?

• If I could only become more like Christ, then my distressing, uncomfortable, painful, negative emotions would go away, and be replaced with comfortable, pleasant, positive emotions like peace, joy, hope, and love.

Or, more simply, we think God promises a formula something like these:

• Christlikeness = Victory Over Unpleasant Emotions

• Christlikeness = Perfect Peace without Unpleasant Emotions

Who Is the Most Christlike Person You Know?

Think about the most Christlike person you know. Picture them. Name them. Who is it?

Well, it was a trick question, because, of course, the most Christlike person ever is…Christ.

Now, picture Christ and His emotions, His emotional life, His emotional experiences.

Did Christ—the perfect God-Man, in perfect communion with the Father—experience only pleasant emotions?

Man of Sorrows

Consider some examples of Christ and distressing emotions, uncomfortable emotional experiences:

• Christ is the Man of Sorrows, acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). His whole emotional life is characterized by Scripture as replete with sorrows, filled with grief.

• Jesus wept (John 11:35). Jesus weeps with those who weep, even as the Spirit groans with those who groan (Romans 8:26-27), and even as the Father is our Father of compassion (co-passion) and God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).

• “Jesus looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts…” (Mark 3:5). Jesus experienced anger and deep distress. Of course, it is sinless anger and sinless distress, but anger and distress no less…

Jesus before the Garden

Just a few days before the Garden of Gethsemane experience, on Palm Sunday, Jesus predicts His death. He also candidly expresses His emotional experience.

“Now my soul is troubled, and what shall I say? ‘Father, save me from this hour’? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!” (John 12:27)

“Troubled” is the Greek word tarasso, which means to trouble, disturb, throw into confusion, to be terrified, to trouble the mind with fear, to experience anxiety and grief, to be unsettled. Matthew uses the same word in Matthew 14:26 when the disciples saw Jesus walking on the water, and “they were frightened…” and “they cried out in fear.” 

Jesus, in the midst of a deeply troubled soul, surrenders His will to His Father’s will, for His Father’s glory. But His emotional distress does not dissipate.

Jesus in the Garden 

In Matthew 26; Mark 14; and Luke 22 we find perhaps the most intense, inspired examples of Jesus and His distressing emotional experience.

In the context (Matthew 26:2; 26-29, 31), Jesus was fully aware that in two days He would be handed over to be crucified.

If you knew that in two days you would be murdered in the most painful way possible, even if you were the most godly person alive today, what might you feel?

Multiple that infinitely by the fact that Jesus knew that He would not only suffer physical agony, but spiritually He would take on Himself the sin of the world.

Christ’s absolute sinlessness and His perfect closeness to and absolute dependance upon the Father meant that He would experience perfect peace in the absence of all distressing emotions, right?

Wrong.

Jesus and His Emotional Experience in the Garden

Jesus goes to Gethsemane and He prays—three times in perfect communion with His perfect Father.

In this state of communion, what did Jesus experience emotionally?

“He began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Keep watch with me’” (Matthew 26:37-38).

“And he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death’” (Mark 14:33-34).

“And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Luke 22:44).

Let’s explore the various words used in these three passages to describe Christ’s emotional experience.

• Sorrowful in Matthew 26:37: The Greek word is lypeo meaning to be distressed, to feel pain, to be grieved, to feel sorrow, to be sorrowful, to be vexed.

• Troubled in Matthew 26:37: The Greek word is ademoneo meaning to be full of distress, to be full of anguish, to be troubled, depressed, and sorrow.

• Overwhelmed with Sorrow in Matthew 26:38: The Greek word is perilypos meaning greatly grieved, exceedingly sorrowful, overwhelmingly sorrowful, greatly distressed.

• Deeply Distressed in Mark 14:33: The Greek word is ekthambeo meaning to be overwhelmed with alarm, to be overwhelmed with distress.

• Being in anguish in Luke 22:44: The Greek word is agonia meaning agony, anguish, violent struggle.

Strength in Distressing Emotions 

All of these intense, painful, distressing emotions occurred even as “an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him” (Luke 22:43).

Jesus received strength in His distressing emotions.

We would pray, “Strengthen me so that I do not experience distressing emotions!”

Any honest, empathetic person can relate to that prayer, even if our Father never promised the absence of all distressing emotions. 

Jesus prayed multiple times that if it were possible, the upcoming distressing situation could be removed. Paul prayed multiple times for the current distressing situation—his thorn in the flesh—to be removed (2 Corinthians 12:7-8).

Jesus prayed that the Father’s will would be done. “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Luke 22:39). Paul, too, surrendered to the Father’s will in the midst of his torment (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).

Jesus did not deny His emotional distress. He faced and felt it fully. He shared it honestly with His disciples (though they imperfectly responded). He faced it candidly face-to-face with His Father, crying out to Him in dependent, humble prayer, in surrender to His Father’s good-but-difficult will.

 

10 Biblical Principles About Emotions—Drawn from the Emotional Life of Christ

1. Christ’s holiness did not prevent Him from experiencing horribly distressing emotions.

2. Christ’s holiness led Him to surrender to and entrust Himself to His Father’s will while in the presence of distressing emotions.

3. Christlikeness does not shield us from horribly distressing emotions.

4. The Bible does not promise that closeness to God prevents horribly distressing emotions.

5. Like Christ, we can face and fully feel our emotions face-to-face with the Father—who is the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. Our distressing emotions drive us to the Father in desperate, dependent prayer (see also 2 Corinthians 1:8-9—Paul’s distressing emotions drove him to rely not upon himself, but upon the God who raises the dead).

6. When distressing emotions come, rather than deny them, we can face and feel them fully. It’s normal to hurt in a fallen world. It’s okay to want and humbly ask for God to intervene in our situation and to comfort our souls. It’s healthy and helpful to share our distressing emotions honestly with others—shared sorrow is more endurable sorrow.

7. Because Christ experienced distressing human emotions, He is our sympathetic High Priest who empathizes with our weakness, infirmities, and emotional distress (see also Hebrews 4:14-15).

8. Our sympathetic High Priest gives us grace to help us in our time of need—He does not promise to remove our time of need; He does not promise to remove our distressing emotions; (see also Hebrews 4:16).

9. There is no such thing in the Bible as an “emotional health and wealth gospel”—the Bible does not promise freedom from emotional distress in this fallen world (see also Romans 8:18-27).

10. Trust God for what He promises, not for what He does not promise. God promises to be with us in our emotional distress; He promises to comfort us in our emotional distress; He promises to use our emotional distress to draw us closer to Him as we choose to surrender to and cling to Him. God does not promise to remove our emotional distress—until heaven when all emotional distress will be forever removed.