A Word from Bob
You’re reading Part 3 of a three-part series on spiritual abuse.
- Part 1, Definitions and Signs of Spiritual Abuse: Here I define spiritual abuse and share signs of spiritually abusive leadership.
- Part 2, 20 Biblical Passages on Spiritual Abuse: Here I collate and share biblical passages about spiritual abuse.
- Part 3, 46 Resources on Spiritual Abuse: Here I collate, link to, and provide a brief summary of “classic” and current resources on spiritual abuse.
Some Words of Introduction
- This list is not, per se, a list of “biblical counseling” resources on spiritual abuse. Not all of the authors would self-identify as “biblical counselors.” This is a list of resources that can help us to define, understand, think through, respond to, and counsel others about spiritual abuse.
- By including a resource in this list, I am not endorsing everything about every resources, or by every listed author.
- Everyone should read these resources with a “Berean mindset” (Acts 17:10-12), searching the Scriptures as our grid or lens to discern what is biblically true and faithful.
- This list is not focused on sexual abuse, clergy sexual abuse, or domestic abuse, though those areas can overlap with spiritual abuse. When resources on sexual abuse, clergy sexual abuse, or domestic abuse discuss, highlight, or overlap with spiritual abuse, I include those resources.
For biblical counseling resources on sexual abuse, see:
6 Biblical Counseling Resources on Sexual Abuse
For biblical counseling resources on sexual abuse healing and hope in Christ, see:
11 Biblical Counseling Resources on Sexual Abuse Healing and Hope in Christ
For biblical counseling resources on domestic abuse, see:
12 Biblical Counseling Resources on Domestic Abuse
- The summary descriptions of each resource come from the authors/publishers.
- This resource list is a work in progress. I’ll continue to add to this list as I become aware of additional helpful resources.
- This resource list is not intended to be comprehensive or exhaustive, but introductory. For the most part, this list does not include academic journal articles, instead focusing more on blog posts, booklets, and books for the general population.
- Under each category, the list is alphabetical.
- I’m dividing the list into three distinct categories.
- Resources on Spiritual Abuse by Bob Kellemen
- “Classic” Resources on Spiritual Abuse
- Current Resources on Spiritual Abuse
Resources on Spiritual Abuse by Bob Kellemen (5 Resources)
Kellemen, Bob. What Does the Bible Teach About Spiritual Abuse?, RPM Ministries Blog Post, 2011.
This is Part 1 of a two-part interview that Tim Challies did with Bob Kellemen back in 2011 about spiritual abuse. This post provides an introduction to the Bible’s teaching on spiritually abusive leadership. You can find Part 1 on Tim’s site here: Spiritual Abuse.
Kellemen, Bob. Practical Biblical Responses to Spiritual Abuse, RPM Ministries Blog Post, 2011.
This is Part 2 of the two-part interview that Tim Challies did with Bob Kellemen in 2011. Part 2 focuses on understanding signs of spiritual abuse and distinguishing between godly leadership and ungodly abuse. You can read Part 2 on Tim’s site here: More on Spiritual Abuse.
Kellemen, Bob. Definitions and Signs of Spiritual Abuse, RPM Ministries Blog Post, 2024.
This is Part 1 of a three-part blog series on spiritual abuse from Bob Kellemen, posted in 2024. Part 1, defines spiritual abuse and shares eight signs of spiritually abusive leadership.
Kellemen, Bob. 20 Biblical Passages on Spiritual Abuse, RPM Ministries Blog Post, 2024.
This is Part 2 of a three-part blog series on spiritual abuse by Bob Kellemen, posted in 2024. As the title suggests, this post collates and shares biblical passages about spiritual abuse. The goal of this post is to assist readers to develop a biblical theology of spiritual abuse.
Kellemen, Bob. 46 Resources on Spiritual Abuse, RPM Ministries Blog Post, 2024.
This is Part 3 of a three-part blog series on spiritual abuse. In this post, Bob Kellemen collates, links to, and provides a brief summary of resources on spiritual abuse. This resource list is a “work in progress” and will be updated periodically. This resource list includes “classic” resources on spiritual abuse, current resources on spiritual abuse, and links to ministries and websites that focus on spiritual abuse.
“Classic” Resources on Spiritual Abuse (4 Resources)
In our day, there has been a resurgence of interest in spiritual abuse. In the generation before us, a select few Christian authors began writing about spiritual abuse. This heading focuses on those writings that provided an early foundation for thinking about spiritual abuse in modern times.
Blue, Ken. Healing Spiritual Abuse: How to Break Free from Bad Church Experiences, IVP, 1993.
Many of us have gone through bad church experiences that have left us feeling like failures. Blaming ourselves, we asked for God’s forgiveness, but felt distant from the church and sometimes from God too. Often, however, the fault is not ours but that of Christian leaders who abuse spiritually. How can we recognize the signs of spiritual abuse? What can we do to gain healing from the wounds we have experienced? With clarity and refreshing honesty, Ken Blue answers these questions and offers hope and healing to the victims of spiritual abuse. In addition he shows Christian leaders how to avoid abusive patterns and instead offer Christ’s gospel of grace to every casualty of bad church experiences.
Enroth, Ronald. Churches That Abuse, Zondervan, 1992.
Churches That Abuse warns and informs readers about churches and groups that operate with abusive styles, creating emotional and spiritual perils for their adherents.
Enroth, Ronald. Recovering from Churches That Abuse, Zondervan, 1994.
Recovering from Churches That Abuse brings home poignantly the plight of the vulnerable spirit who is searching for answers in a religious system where members find value and spiritual worth based on their own works. Clear and concise, the author provides evaluative questions and practical advice for bringing the seeker back to God’s grace.
Johnson, David, and Jeff VanVonderen. The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority Within the Church, Bethany House, 1991/2005.
In a breakthrough book first published in 1991, the authors address the dynamics in churches that can ensnare people in legalism, guilt, and begrudging service, keeping them from the grace and joy of God’s kingdom. Written for both those who feel abused and those who may be causing it, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse shows how people get hooked into abusive systems, the impact of controlling leadership on a congregation, and how the abused believer can find rest and recovery. Note: Of the resources in this “classic” category, I would recommend The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse as the #1 resource.
Current Resources on Spiritual Abuse (37 Resources)
Allberry, Sam. How Do Churches End Up with Domineering Bullies for Pastors?, Blog Post at The Gospel Coalition, 2019.
Allberry examines Scripture, in particular 1 Peter 5:1-6, to outline the nature of domineering pastors, the sin of domineering pastors, and the biblical antidote to domineering pastors.
Brooks, Nate. Why Won’t My Feelings of Church Hurt Go Away?, Blog Post at the Biblical Counseling Coalition, 2021.
Nate Brooks looks at spiritual abuse—or what he calls “church hurt”—through the lens of trauma responses, and through the lens of Scripture. He suggests four aspects of healing to guide sufferers through the long path of recovery.
Clark, Scott. A Beginner’s Guide to Addressing Spiritual Abuse in the Church, Blog Post at the Heidelblog, 2021.
In this post, Clark provides a working definition of spiritual abuse, signs of spiritual abuse, the effect of spiritual abuse, and hope for the hurting.
Cosper, Mike. The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill, Produced by Christianity Today, 2021.
The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill is a multi-part podcase telling the story of the explosive rise, abusive leadership, and dramatic fall of Seattle megachurch pastor, Mark Driscoll.
Davis-Agee, Stacey. Spiritual Abuse in Church Leadership: Finding a Way Through, DMin Dissertation, Covenant Theological Seminary, 2018.
Spiritual abuse in leadership is a reality for the church and its leaders are turning a blind eye. As long as the church acts as if this abuse does not exist, its effects will grow. Adult education literature has begun insisting that it is time to acknowledge it, to understand what it is, to learn how it presents in a church staff environment, and to take steps to help those wounded by it. Therefore, the purpose of this study was to explore how associate pastors experience restoration from spiritual abuse they have experienced from a lead pastor. Note: This dissertation includes an extensive academic bibliography on spiritual abuse.
DeGroat, Chuck. When Narcissism Comes to Church: Healing Your Community from Emotional and Spiritual Abuse, IVP, 2022.
What is narcissism? And how does it infiltrate the church? Chuck DeGroat has been counseling pastors with narcissistic personality disorder, as well as those wounded by narcissistic leaders and systems, for over twenty years. He knows firsthand the devastation narcissism leaves in its wake and how insidious and painful it is. In When Narcissism Comes to Church, DeGroat takes a close look at narcissism, not only in ministry leaders but also in church systems; offers compassion and hope for those affected by its destructive power and; imparts wise counsel for churches looking to heal from its systemic effects.
DeMuth, Mary. 10 Ways to Spot Spiritual Abuse, Blog Post at Restory, 2016.
This post not only highlights 10 ways to spot spiritual abuse, it also shares 6 ways to cope with spiritually abusive situations, and provides links to resources related to spiritual abuse.
Diederich, Remy. Broken Trust: A Practical Guide to Identify and Recover from Toxic Faith, Toxic Church, and Spiritual Abuse, CreateSpace Independent Publishing, 2017.
Remy Diederich relates his personal experiences of toxic faith and spiritual abuse along with the experiences of other survivors. But this isn’t just another tell-all story of abuse; it’s a guide that will help you to first identify spiritual abuse, and then offer you a practical plan for recovery.
Dryburgh, Anne. The Emotionally Abusive Mindset: Its Effects and How to Overcome Them in Christ, Illumine Press, 2022.
The Emotionally Abusive Mindset provides insights into what emotional abuse looks like across a spectrum of relationships. It considers how someone with an abusive way of thinking tends to operate. The book does not cover physical or sexual abuse but is designed to give some key basic information. Chapter 6 in particular explores the issue of spiritual abuse.
Dunham, Dave. Jesus’ Rebuke of Spiritual Abusers, Pastor Dave Online Blog Post, 2020.
This post is Part 1 of a seven-part blog series by Dave Dunham. Throughout the blog mini-series Dunham explores Matthew 23:1-36, and Jesus’s seven woes to the Pharisees, to better understand spiritual abuse and God’s rebuke against it.
Ford, Keith. Bitter Fruit: Dysfunction and Abuse in the Local Church, Wipf & Stock, 2021.
The bitter fruit of abuse does not appear from nowhere. Its origins, the soil in which it grows, and the structures that support it need be understood if we are to eradicate this fruit from within our churches and Christian organizations. Bitter Fruit: Dysfunction and Abuse in the Local Church describes those psychologies, social psychologies, and inadequate theologies that are frequently true in churches that enable abuse, regardless of the form the abuse may take.
Garrett, Kenneth, and Michael Langone. In the House of Friends: Understanding and Healing from Spiritual Abuse in Christian Churches, Wipf & Stock, 2020.
In the House of Friends: Understanding and Healing from Spiritual Abuse in the Christian Church is written for survivors of abusive churches, their families and friends, and all who want to understand spiritual abuse and help the abused. Dr. Garrett is a long-term pastor of a diverse, urban congregation and combines personal experience, sound academic research, and pastoral theology to address a poorly understood, rarely admitted problem today—spiritual abuse in Christian churches.
Gembola, Michael. Three Recent Books on Narcissism and Spiritual Abuse in Church Leadership, JBC 35:3, 61-92, 2021.
Gembola reviews, compares, contrasts, discusses strengths and weaknesses, and derives implications for Christian living and biblical counseling from Chuck DeGroat’s When Narcissism Comes to Church, Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer’s A Church Called Tov, and Diane Langberg’s Redeeming Power.
Hambrick, Brad. Navigating Destructive Relationships: 9 Steps Toward Healing, New Growth Press, 2024.
While not specifically about spiritual abuse, Navigating Destructive Relationships does provide practical biblical principles for responding to all types of abusive relationships. All relationships disappoint us from time to time. But some relationships are destructive, especially those marked by addiction, abuse, and/or life-dominating problems. Navigating Destructive Relationships, a support group curriculum, provides you with a safe and stable place where you can name what’s going on and turn toward God. You are not alone. God sees and cares for your suffering.
Hann, Aaron, The Dynamic of Spiritual Abuse, Blog Post at aaronjhann.com, 2022.
We can only help those who have been spiritually abused if we understand what spiritual abuse is. Without understanding, we don’t see clearly, we misdiagnose and we misprescribe. John 9 illustrates that the dynamic of spiritual abuse is misusing religious power to wrongfully transfer one’s responsibility onto an innocent other.
Hansen, Collin, and Michael Kruger. Confronting Spiritual Abuse, The Gospel Coalition Podcast Interview, 2022.
In this TGC podcast, Collin Hansen interviews Michael Kruger regarding his book Bully Pulpit and the heart issues lurking behind spiritually abusive behaviors. The podcasts includes a full transcribed manuscript.
Honeysett, Marcus. Powerful Leaders?: When Church Leadership Goes Wrong and How to Prevent It, IVP, 2022.
Powerful Leaders? exposes and explores how leaders are tempted away from a biblical model of leadership into illegitimate—and in the worst cases abusive – use of authority and power. Director of Living Leadership, a charity that focuses on healthy leadership and church culture, Marcus Honeysett traces how leaders move along a spectrum of healthy to unhealthy uses of power and position and offers practical wisdom for countering and preventing harmful leadership.
Keating, Crystal, and Darby Strickland. What Is Spiritual Abuse?, Joni and Friend Podcast Interview, 2023.
Do you know someone who has been wounded by coercion, spiritual shaming, or misuse of Scripture? Author and Christian counselor Darby Strickland previously joined the Joni and Friends Ministry Podcast to share about caring for people who have suffered from trauma and abuse. In this episode, she returns to talk about spiritual abuse. Tune in to learn the markers of spiritual abuse, how spiritual abuse can hurt people with disabilities in particular, and what can be done for a person wounded by coercive control, manipulative spiritual teaching, or other forms of spiritual oppression.
Klemashevich, Jamie, Karen Roudkovski, and Tevin Davis. Wounded Advocates: How Surviving Spiritual Abuse Can Help Survivors See the Suffering of Others, Pastoral Psychology, 2024.
Spiritual abuse can be detrimental to victims’ emotional and mental well-being as well as their spirituality and religious faith. Little research exists regarding the experiences of ministers who have experienced spiritual abuse. This study investigated the correlation between experiencing spiritual abuse and the ability to recognize spiritual abuse in a sample of Southern Baptist Convention ministers. Results indicated that the likelihood of recognizing spiritual abuse correlated with higher scores on the spiritual abuse survey. Note: This academic journal article contains an extensive academic bibliography on spiritual abuse.
Kruger, Michael. Bully Pulpit: Confronting the Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church, Zondervan, 2022.
We need gentle shepherds now more than ever, and in Bully Pulpit, seminary president and biblical scholar Michael J. Kruger offers a unique perspective for both church leaders and church members on the problem of spiritual abuse, how to spot it, and how to handle it in the church.
Kruger, Michael. “Not Domineering Over Those in Your Charge.” Exploring the Complexities of Spiritual Abuse, Blog Post at byFaith, 2024.
So, how should we understand this phenomenon of spiritual abuse? What is it exactly? And how can we distinguish it from other types of behaviors and problems? The purpose of this article is to try to provide some preliminary answers to these questions.
Kruger, Michael. What Is Spiritual Abuse?: Blog Post at Canon Fodder, 2021.
In this post, Kruger discusses what is not spiritual abuse, what is spiritual abuse, and biblical principles for addressing spiritual abuse.
This is part of a larger series of posts by Kruger on spiritual abuse—related to his book Bully Pulpit. You can read Part 1 of the series, and find links to additional posts here: Bully Pulpit: A New Series on the Rising Problem of Spiritual Abuse in the Church.
Langberg, Diane. Redeeming Power: Understanding Authority and Abuse in the Church, Brazos, 2020.
Power has a God-given role in human relationships and institutions, but it can lead to abuse when used in unhealthy ways. Speaking into current #MeToo and #ChurchToo conversations Redeeming Power shows that the body of Christ desperately needs to understand the forms power takes, how it is abused, and how to respond to abuses of power.
McKnight, Scot. Spiritual Abuse 2.0, Blog Post at Scot’s Newsletter, 2022.
In this post, McKnight identifies three basic elements to spiritual abuse. (1) The asymmetry in power between a person with some kind of spiritual authority and another person; (2) It is most noticeable when there is a pattern of abuse though a single case can constitute spiritual abuse, and at times spiritual abuse penetrates a culture so much it becomes systemic; and (3) Behaviors by that spiritual authority that psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually wound a person.
McNight, Scot. What Is Spiritual Abuse? A Working Definition, Blog Post at Jesus Creed, 2020.
McKnight, using Oakley and Humphreys, defines spiritual abuse. “Spiritual abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse. It is characterized by a systematic pattern of coercive and controlling behavior in a religious context. Spiritual abuse can have a deeply damaging impact on those who experience it. This abuse may include: manipulation and exploitation,
enforced accountability, censorship of decision making, requirements for secrecy and silence, coercion to conform, [inability to ask questions] control through the use of sacred texts or teaching, requirement of obedience to the abuser, the suggestion that the abuser has a ‘divine’ position, isolation as a means of punishment, and superiority and elitism.”
McKnight, Scot, and Laura Barringer. A Church Called Tov: Forming a Goodness Culture That Resists Abuses of Power and Promotes Healing, Tyndale, 2020.
The sad truth is that churches of all shapes and sizes are susceptible to abuses of power, sexual abuse, and spiritual abuse. Abuses occur most frequently when Christians neglect to create a culture that resists abuse and promotes healing, safety, and spiritual growth. How do we keep these devastating events from repeating themselves? We need a map to get us from where we are today to where we ought to be as the body of Christ. That map is in a mysterious and beautiful little Hebrew word in Scripture that we translate “good,” the word tov.
Mondal, Anna. Church Hurt: Beyond Disappointed, Beyond Loved, Part 1, Blog Post at the Biblical Counseling Coalition, 2021.
Mondal first defines church hurt. “Church hurt is the painful experience of being exploited in the context of a collective local church, where spiritual language or even Scripture may be leveraged to justify wrongdoing and protect offenders.” Mondal then develops this definition, focused on examples of church hurt and the effects of church hurt. This is Part 1 in a two-part blog post.
Mondal, Anna. Church Hurt: Beyond Disappointed, Beyond Loved, Part 2, Blog Post at the Biblical Counseling Coalition, 2021.
In Part 2 of her two-part post, Anna Mondal asks and answers the question, “How can victims of church hurt find renewal in Christ?” Broadly speaking, victims of church hurt need to experience times of lament, rediscovery of Christ’s nature, spiritual and communal nourishment, and hope for a bigger story.
Mullen, Wade. Something’s Not Right: Decoding the Hidden Tactics of Abuse—and Freeing Yourself from Its Power, Tyndale, 2020.
In his debut book, researcher and advocate Wade Mullen introduces us to the groundbreaking world of impression management―the strategies that individuals and organizations utilize to gain power and cover up their wrongdoings. Mullen reveals a pattern that accompanies many types of abuse, almost as if abusers are somehow reading from the same playbook. If we can learn to decode these evil methods―if we can learn the language of abuse―we can help stop the cycle and make abusers less effective at accomplishing destruction in our lives.
Oakley, Lisa, and Justin Humphrey. Escaping the Maze of Spiritual Abuse: Creating Healthy Christians Cultures, SPCK, 2019.
The term “spiritual abuse” is widely used across the Christian community. But what is it? Sometimes spiritual abuse involves leaders misusing their position, but ministers can also be the victims. Common factors include control through misuse of Scripture, claims to divine authority, pressure to conform, and enforced accountability. Individuals may be isolated, and compelled to secrecy and silence. Drawing on a combination of extensive research, individual testimonies, and years of hands-on experience, Lisa Oakley and Justin Humphreys describe clearly the nature of spiritual abuse, and the best ways of countering it.
Oakley, Lisa, and Kathryn Kinmond. Breaking the Silence on Spiritual Abuse, Palgrave Macmillan, 2013.
Providing a balance of empirical research and practical concerns, this book explores the definitions and historical context of spiritual abuse, outlines a process model for the different stages of spiritual abuse and includes strategies for therapists working with survivors of spiritual abuse.
Roudkovski, Karen. Spiritual Abuse Assessment: A Tool for Survivors and Their Helpers, B&H Academic, 2024.
Spiritual Abuse Assessment: A Tool for Survivors and their Helpers, developed by Karen Roudkovski, is brief eleven-item Likert scale screening tool to assess for spiritual abuse in various settings, such as churches, religious organizations, parachurch organizations, spiritual movements, and individual relationships. The assessment contains eleven statements representing eleven sub-themes underlying spiritual abuse.
Roudkovski, Karen. Understanding Spiritual Abuse: What It Is and How to Respond, B&H Academics, 2024.
Spiritual abuse is a widespread—and often misunderstood—issue. Church leaders may not understand how spiritual abuse manifests and spreads; meanwhile, the impact of spiritual abuse can be devastating to victims, damaging their relationships with themselves, the church, and God. In Understanding Spiritual Abuse: What It Is and How to Respond, professor and licensed counselor Karen Roudkovski offers wisdom, clarity, and hope for those seeking to understand the nature of spiritual abuse and how to heal.
Strickland, Darby. Is It Abuse?: A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Helping Victims, P&R, 2020.
This resource includes a focus on spiritual abuse in marriage. For years biblical counselor Darby Strickland has served women in oppressive marriages. Now she writes to anyone who wants to help. Providing case studies, reflection questions, inventory questions, and thought-provoking exercises, she prepares the reader to pick up on concerning cues and to explore them appropriately. You will learn how to identify the toxic entitlement that drives abusive behavior and better understand the impact of abuse on victims. Ultimately, you will become equipped to provide wise and Christ-centered counsel while carefully navigating the complex dynamics of oppression in a marriage.
Strickland, Darby. Lamenting Church Hurt, Blog Post at the Biblical Counseling Coalition, 2021.
In this post, Strickland sees church hurt on a spectrum. “This term can encompass a wide range of wounds, from church conflicts to gossip, to institutional mistreatment, and even to the extremes of spiritual abuse.” In her post, Strickland’s goal is clear. I want to share with you how my counselees and I have walked through the pain, rejection, and accusations of fellow believers in ways that have actually led us closer to Him.”
Strickland, Darby. What Is Spiritual Abuse in Marriage?, Focus on the Family Blog Post, 2021.
Spiritual abuse in marriage can be defined by someone berating their spouse with prayers or using Scripture against them out of context. There are signs to look out for that will indicate if you are dealing with a spiritually oppressive husband. In this article, we’ll talk about what the Bible says about abuse and provide Bible verses for abuse victims and those wanting to help them. Spiritual or religious abuse is just as serious and damaging as any other form of abuse.
White, Amy. Towards a Theological Definition of Spiritual Abuse: Ezekiel 34 and the Use of Pastoral Power, Grove Books, 2021.
“Spiritual abuse” is a term fraught with difficulty—how could abuse be spiritual, and how can situations of a spiritual nature be abusive? But as many victims can attest, Scripture can be used as an instrument of exploitation and manipulation. This carefully considered study offers an urgent examination of the Bible’s condemnation of abusive behaviour. It also calls for church leaders to understand fully the theological basis of identifying and condemning spiritual abuse, and to seek a scriptural foundation that avoids the attitudes and practices that could lead to it.
Join the Conversation
What resources on spiritual abuse would you add to this list?
Which resources on this list have you found the most helpful?
