Letting Go
Recently I read an excellent post by my friend, Eliza Jane Huie. Eliza introduced her thoughts with these words:
“I have learned so much from biblical counseling. It is a meaningful and integral part of my practice. However, I found that we can sometimes hold onto less helpful ideas out of loyalty to a movement, organization, or person. Here are some things I am letting go of and why.”
Eliza, as a good counselor, made me think. Here are ten unhelpful biblical counseling practices that I believe our movement would be wise to let go of…
Let It Go!
- Letting go of… Elevating data collection above soul connection.
Careful listening is vital. However, out of compassion, we would be wise to ask ourselves, “In my biblical counseling, would counselees, sadly, say of me, ‘I felt like a specimen to be probed, dissected, examined, and diagnosed’?” Or, by God’s grace, would people joyfully say of me, ‘I felt like a soul to be heard, understood, and cared about’?
- Letting go of… Sharing God’s eternal story before we listen well and wisely to our friend’s earthly story.
As biblical counselors, let’s not listen and pounce—preaching at people and doing so unwisely and prematurely. Instead, like Jesus, the Wonderful Counselor, let’s engage in lingering listening where we seek to understand each individual and tailor our exploration of Scripture to their unique situation, story, and soul.
- Letting go of… Talking at counselees rather than exploring Scriptures with counselees.
In our biblical counseling, do we practice monologue counseling—teaching/telling and giving a counselee a fish? Or, do we engage in trialogue counseling where there are always three people in our conversation—the counselor, the counselee, and the Divine Counselor—through God’s Word and God’s Spirit as we listen together to the Word, discerning how to apply truth to life.
- Letting go of… Practicing half-biblical counseling by addressing sin but neglecting suffering.
In addition to humbly and gently addressing sin, let’s see ourselves as parakaletic biblical counselors—biblical soul care-givers comforting, encouraging, and compassionately caring for sufferers, identifying with people in pain and directing them to Christ and the body of Christ for comfort and healing hope.
- Letting go of…Failing to follow the Trinity’s model of comforting care.
Instead of being shaped by human counselors and human counseling traditions, let’s humbly be shaped little by little into the image of the Father of compassion who comforts others, and into the image of the Son who is a sympathetic High Priest who empathizes with others, and into the image of the Spirit who groans with, consoles, and encourages others.
- Letting go of… Viewing people one-dimensionally.
We would all be wise to let go of any “pet” perspective of people where we view them through one primary lens. Instead, let’s view people as image bearers, seeing them in the full range of human nature as relational (spiritual, social, and self-aware), rational, volitional, emotional, and physical beings.
- Letting go of… Devaluing emotions rather than seeing emotions as God’s idea.
No more devaluing or even demonizing emotions. Let’s see emotions as being of great value because they are God-designed aspect of the image of God. Let’s realize that God specifically declares that our emotions are beautifully, fearfully, and wonderfully made.
- Letting go of… Minimizing the complexity of the soul-body interconnection.
As soul physicians, our emphasis on the soul should not morph into a sole focus on the soul that minimizes the complex interrelationship between the body and soul. Instead, let’s be soul physicians of embodied-souls who understand and apply the Bible’s teaching on the intricate, intimate interaction of the body/soul—the embodied-soul. The body matters; matter matters.
- Letting go of… Maximizing sin while minimizing grace.
In our concern for confronting sin, let’s avoid being sin-sniffers, idol-spotters, and sin-maximizers. Instead, like the Apostle Paul, let’s celebrate that where sin abounds, grace super-abounds! Let’s be dispensers of grace.
- Letting go of… Confusing the sufficiency of Scripture with the competency of the counselor.
Let’s remember that while the Scriptures are sufficient, no individual counselor is competent to address every embodied-soul issue. Let’s humbly acknowledge our need for Christ and the body of Christ, be willing to refer to other more experienced counselors, and continue to learn and be equipped.
The Rest of the Story
I’ve developed these 10 categories from Consider Your Counsel: Addressing Ten Mistakes in Our Biblical Counseling.
