The Big Idea
As biblical counselors are we being biblical in how we relate to fellow biblical counselors? Are we practicing what we preach? Are we applying what we counsel?
Biblical Counselors Be Biblical
If you have followed conversations in the biblical counseling movement over the past eighteen months, then you know that at times they have become, shall we say, “heated.” At one level, that can be okay, if we are truly speaking the truth in love to one another.
On the other hand, what if we biblical counselors are not being biblical in how we relate? Of all people, should not biblical counselors relate biblically to fellow biblical counselors? Should we not follow biblical principles of relationships, of communication, of conflict resolution, of mutually respectful iron-sharpening engagement?
Over the past eighteen months I’ve written or summarized at least twenty-one posts addressing how biblical counselors could relate biblically to each other. I’m no mathematician, but I believe that is more than one post per month. It is important to me that we apply the adage:
Soul Physicians Heal Thyself.
Or, put another way:
Biblical Counselors Be Biblical.
Or, put yet another way:
Practice What You Preach; Apply What You Counsel.
So, in what follows, I link to each of these twenty-one resources, while also providing a short synopsis of each resource. I collate these resources in the hope that their combine weight might be an encouragement for we biblical counselors to relate biblically to one another.
Positive Encouragement to Relate Well and Wisely
In this first section, the posts address the question:
“When we disagree with other biblical counselors, how could we handle those differences biblically?”
- 5 Biblical Counseling Principles for Addressing Disagreements Among Biblical Counselors: What biblical principles could guide us as biblical counselors as we interact with other biblical counselors—especially with those with whom we disagree?
- 6 Types of Biblical Self-Examination Questions to Ask Before Criticizing Fellow Biblical Counselors: How should biblical counselors relate to one another when they perceive differences in their biblical counseling views and practices?
- What Does It Mean to “Speak the Truth in Love”?: Some people today misapply Ephesians 4:15, using it as a cannon to blast and destroy others. They seek to do this by highlighting the “truth” part of this verse. However, ironically, sometimes we fail to understand the biblical meaning of “truthing.” Biblically, what does “speaking the truth in love” mean? What does it look like?
- Are We Reasonable or Unreasonable in Our Interactions in the Biblical Counseling Movement?: Reasonableness is the ability to see the point of view of another and is a command in Scripture (Philippians 4:5). It is a crucial characteristic when good people debate complex matters. It is absolutely necessary in charting a discerning truth-in-love path forward in the modern biblical counseling world as we discuss vital issues of counseling theory (theology) and practice (methodology).
- 2 Very Different Ways of Reading People We Disagree With: Which approach do we take when we read someone who differs with us, or is from outside our “camp” or “group”? Aproach A: Reading to Learn: Do we humbly read to learn from them? Approach B: Reading to Debunk: Do we read only to spot perceived errors and weaknesses that we will expose in them?
- Is It Biblical for Biblical Counselors to Disagree?: Some people believe that public discussions of differences between biblical counselors is unhelpful and unwise. Some people believe that public discussions of differences between biblical counselors can provide iron-sharpening content for all biblical counselors. This post provides a snapshot sampler of fifty years of nouthetic counseling disagreements. Nouthetic counselors have always publicly nouthetically confronted one another.
- How Biblical Counselors Could Engage Matthew LaPine’s the Logic of the Body: Matthew LaPine takes an exegetical, lexical, and church history view of the teaching of the Bible on the body and emotions. His approach differs from some traditional biblical counseling perspectives on the relationship between the body and our feelings. This post exams how biblical counselors could engage in a fair and balanced assessment with his book—and with other books not written by self-described biblical counselors.
How Not to Do It
The following collated posts seek to provide nouthetic confrontation of unbiblical nouthetic confrontation. In other words, these posts describe how not to do it. These posts expose unbiblical ways that we sometimes relate as biblical counselors.
- Beware of Relational Heresy While Addressing Perceived Doctrinal Heresy: We talk a lot about doctrinal heresy—and it is a vital issues that we must address. Orthodoxy—right belief—is essential. We seem to talk less about relational heresy. Orthopraxy—right relationships, right living—is equally essential. We talk even less about right relationshipswhile talking about right doctrine. Our failure to address this runs counter to God’s all-sufficient Word. The Bible is replete with commands about how we treat one another while we address doctrinal disagreements. The Bible consistently commands us to guard our hearts against relational heresy.
- 8 Characteristics of Toxic, Argumentative Groups: This post explores and applies to our current conversations the concept of “the argumentative frame”: A group of people with a toxic, destructive way of thinking and relating to those outside the group. It is group-think” in which a group organizes itself around a warfare mentality.
- 10 Conversation Stoppers in the New “Conversation” Playbook: Many people on social media, blogs, and podcasts claim to want to start a conversation. In reality, they want to start a monologue. They use a number of conversations stoppers to shame others into shutting up.
- Biblical Counseling and Premature Closure: “I’m Not Listening to You!”: Premature closure is a cognitive error that occurs when someone accepts or rejects an idea before even investigating it. Premature closure maintains a bias toward ideas I already accept and a bias against ideas that differ from my own thinking (or the thinking of my group). Sadly, historically the modern biblical counseling movement habitually engages in premature closure.
- When Their Arguments Are Weak, People Attack: Ad Hominem Attacks: Have you ever been in a discussion—private or public/online—and experienced the other person resorting to personal attacks rather than addressing the issues? If so, you have experienced an ad hominem
Calls to Iron-Sharpening-Iron Mutually Respectful Communication
On at least three occasions in the past eighteen months, I have encouraged our biblical counseling movement leaders to consider something novel: talking to one another and engaging with one another. When we launched the Biblical Counseling Coalition in 2010, it was because biblical counseling leaders were talking about one another instead of talking with one another. The need to talk to and engage respectfully with one another still exists.
- A Proposal: A Biblical Counseling Conciliation Summit: I introduce this post with these words: “Obi-Wan Kenobi, of Star Wars fame, ‘felt a great disturbance in the Force’ when he sensed the destruction of Alderaan. In recent months, I have ‘felt a great disturbance in the biblical counseling movement.’” So, rather than do nothing, I publicly recommended a face-to-face, iron-sharpening-iron conciliation summit.
- An Update: A Biblical Counseling Reconciliation Summit—Sadly, Not Likely to Happen: As the title suggests, this post provides an update on my call for a reconciliation summit. As the subtitle indicates, sadly, this call has not been heeded.
- Is It Time for a “Biblical Counseling Five Views” Book?: In this post, I propose that biblical counseling leaders from across the spectrum of biblical counseling perspectives co-author a mutually respectful book. I outline potential groups, potential authors, potential chapters, and potential areas to address. I propose the title: Five Views of Biblical Counseling: Iron Sharpening Conversations.
Collating What Others Have Been Saying
Of course, I’m not the first, nor the only, or even the primary person asking biblical counselors to consider how we engage with one another. The following posts summarize what other biblical counselors have said about how nouthetic biblical counselors relate to others.
- Powlison’s Counsel on Communicating Constructively Concerning Counseling Conflicts: In 2007, in “Cure of Souls (and the Modern Psychotherapies),”David Powlison addressed conflict among counselors head-on, asking: “But how do we talk about the conflict constructively?” This posts summarizes his winsome wisdom.
- 3 Nouthetic Cautions about Nouthetic Critiques of Others: From John Bettler: In reading Bettler’s 1987 article, we overhear one nouthetic counselor (John Bettler) offering nouthetic confrontation, not just to Jay Adams, but to the entire nouthetic counseling movement—to “the next generation.” That’s good. Those who give nouthetic confrontation ought to humbly receive and learn from such nouthetic confrontation and caution.
- 16 Self-Assessment Questions to Ask Ourselves as We Evaluate Other Counseling Models: In our desire to biblically assess counseling models, have we been unfair to the views of others, inaccurate with the text of Scripture, and insensitive to the pain of our counselees? This post distills and summarizes John Bettler’s nouthetic cautions to nouthetic counselors.
- Humility and Charity in Biblical Counseling: A Guest Post by Nate Brooks on David Powlison and Eric Johnson: Nate Brooks writes: “One thing I’ve always appreciated about David Powlison was the way he held his convictions. He had strong beliefs, but those beliefs were tempered with the humility to know that he could learn much from others who may disagree.” Dr. Brooks then distills principles from Powlison’s relationship with Eric Johnson.
- Biblical Counseling Conversations and the Kobayashi Maru Scenario: A Guest Post by Joseph Leavell: Biblical counselor, Joseph Leavell, shares examples of “circular reasoning” in unreasonable conversations about biblical counseling.
- 7 Signs of a Modern-Day Evangelical Pharisee: This post, which exposes the Pharisee in all of us, is from Michael Reeves little book, Evangelical Pharisees: The Gospel as Cure for the Church’s Hypocrisy.
Join the Conversation
What posts or resources would you add that specifically address how biblical counselors could relate biblically to one another?
